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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I love Christmas and I make a fuss of my kids so Aibu to tell people who are clearly envious to sod the hell off?

277 replies

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:01

Hi I have four children age 10,8,6 and 4 and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year as it is for a lot of people. They are the most loveliest, happy, appreciative children you could imagine and whilst they aren't overly spoilt in terms of gifts they do get to enjoy other things associated with the festive period.

I'm currently I sahm (du works full time) I worked when my oldest three were little but when I had our youngest I decided to take a couple of years out until she was ready for school (next year) so I have the time to plan things over Christmas that maybe I wouldn't have had time to plan or do if I were working full time. To say I've come across a lot of negativity from some friends/family/aquaintenaces is kind of an understatement. I'm not one of those pushy, over enthused, obsessive parents who like to rub things what I'm doing in other peoples faces but if people ask what I'm doing and what I'm doing over Christmas then I'll happily tell them, but I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Over the next few weeks we have quite a lot on ie trip to see Santa (of course lol) a day out at a reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa at our local garden centre, day out at an indoor Christmas theme park. And as a lot of parents I've done the usual portable North Pole messages, ordered personalised Christmas letters and Christmas plates and I've spent time doing arts and crafts and making a lot of handmade Christmas gifts for family.

Now this sort of thing I love as do my kids and we really enjoy getting stuck in over Christmas but clearly some people have a problem with the effort I make. I told two grandma what I had planned and what I'd been up to and they sort of sighed saying that I'm Mary poppins, one friend then went onto Facebook the same evening and put at stays along the lines of she doesn't understand why Christmas is such a competition for some parents and why the hell they feel the need to take their kids on loads of trips she doesn't know!

I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday but I decided the other day to put a status on saying how excited I was for Christmas and that we had lots of activities planned and I couldn't wait for the kids to break up from school. Well all I got was oh you must be crazy wishing the kids to break up, and you don't have to keep the kids entertained 24/7 Kath I'm sure they're capable of doing stuff on their own!

I was kind of shocked at first but when I thought about it, these sort of comments didn't surprise me as they were mainly off the same group of people (who are not necessarily friends just people I know) who do absolutely bugger all with their own kids and who would rather go out of a weekend spending all their money and then are too hungover and skint the next day to bother doing anything. And whilst what they chose to do with their own lives is their decision it's also up to me what I do myself, and i don't expect to have digs at me just because I enjoy spending time time with my kids and family. So would I be unreasonable to just ignore the ones on Facebook and to tell my so called real friends to keep their bloody opinions to themselves?

OP posts:
ItsJustaUsername · 29/11/2015 16:25

'A lot of negativity from friends, family and acquaintances' suggests you maybe go on a bit. When people ask your plans for Christmas they generally mean where are you spending Christmas. It's not an invitation to give a rundown of your itinerary for the entire month of December.

AgentZigzag · 29/11/2015 16:26

Blimey, the thread's moved on pretty quick!

Loopyloser · 29/11/2015 16:26

Bore off.

velourvoyageur · 29/11/2015 16:27

Personally I would like reading posts like yours on facebook, about doing Xmas activities and things, helps build up the atmosphere. I don't even have kids and have to admit that half of Christmas is their excitement that gets us all excited :)

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:27

I've already said that I'm not a regular Facebook user and I don't typically post that often. I'd deactivated my account for a while and decided last week to reactivate it. A lot of posts were about how excited people were for Christmas, how they couldn't wait to finish work for a week/two weeks and some people even commenting on what they had planned over the holidays, what is so wrong with that? I didn't take offence, I didn't feel annoyed that they might have a "better" Christmas than me, I was simply interested to see what everyone was up to.

So I posted what I was going to be up to over Christmas, again so what? I'm not exactly taking a weeks shopping holiday to New York with DH, or going to Lapland, I'm just doing your every day Christmassy things with my children at home so when I come across negativity and nastiness like I have I can only come to one of two possible conclusions, one being that people are envious or two, they are simply nasty and can't be happy for anyone.

OP posts:
Jasonandyawegunorts · 29/11/2015 16:30

I can only come to one of two possible conclusions, one being that people are envious or two, they are simply nasty and can't be happy for anyone.

Good, so you have made up your mind then... Why make the thread though?

Palomb · 29/11/2015 16:30

You clearly think you're great so why care what anyone else thinks?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 29/11/2015 16:31

Can the DDs and I please come and live with your family? I adore Christmas and New Years but DH is a bit of a humbug. It all sounds lovely. I think your kids are lucky.

velourvoyageur · 29/11/2015 16:32

Think the OP's been kicked enough now guys.
Seriously we're not in bloody Y9

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 29/11/2015 16:33

Ok - so everyone else was posting about their Xmas plans, therefore you did the same. However, for no reason what-so-ever, your posts apparently get torn apart because they're jealous/nasty. Did anyone else on your FB seem to get the same treatment? Honestly, are you sure you were not, perhaps, a tad over enthusiastic about your plans, to the point of winding people up/causing a reaction?

Shockers · 29/11/2015 16:33

Just ignore them and get on with the stuff you enjoy. I'm sure your children appreciate your efforts. It was never going to be of massive interest to anyone else though.

As for fb... you post what you like (as long as it's legal!). If folk don't like it, they don't have to look!

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:35

Because I don't understand why Jason! I mean of course I understand that there are nasty people out there but I didn't think that any of them were on my Facebook friends list, I've certainly never come across it before. I've already said I'm not boasting, what is there to boast about? Me and my DH live a relitiveley modest lifestyle, we have had a very tough year and have dealt with a lot of sadness (I won't go into details) so now that me and DH feel better and are back to our normal selves we want to make Christmas as magical as it can be, there's nothing wrong with that surely?

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/11/2015 16:36

What did breakfast with Santa exactly constitute ??

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/11/2015 16:37

And yeah velour - well said ! Reindeer kicks too by the look of it !

Loopyloser · 29/11/2015 16:38

Is this thread your real name? You may like it changed by MNHQ just for privacy.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 29/11/2015 16:39

I don't think they're envious necessarily, a bit Hmm perhaps, it's probably just not their thing. But I'm currently ttc and can't wait to do all the Christmas activities, letters from santa, reindeer pates etc with my future spawn! I bloody love Christmas! [santa]

StarkyTheDirewolf · 29/11/2015 16:39

*plates

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:40

MrsGently it honestly wasn't no. My friends on Facebook a lot of them aren't linked ie I have my true friends on there, some from school, a couple from college, a couple from my old work etc etc. An old work friend was the one who put on a status that was clearly aimed at me, we only have three or four mutual friends and from what I could see none of them had liked her status but she received some comments from people I don't know saying that some mothers clearly have nothing better to do and they must have too much time on their hands if they can think up all of these "fabulous" things to do with their kids. My "friend" then commented along the same lines and lets just say it wasn't nice.

OP posts:
Loopyloser · 29/11/2015 16:41

Yes OP but why the need to tell everyone on FB?

If I was into that kind of thing I'd be really happy fort family and me but just say 'yes lots of lovely things planned thanks.'

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 16:41

I think people just get sick of Christmas shit. It's in the shops from the 1st November, it's a pain to find it taking over on Facebook. Personally, I don't give shit what advent calendars my friends kids have and I don't want their December itinerary. It's not jealousy, I have a ton organised with ds.

ouryve · 29/11/2015 16:41

What the hell is there to be envious of? They're hardly activities just for a select few.Confused

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:42

But to be fair what is Facebook for if not to share what you're getting up to, where you are, what your plans are etc?......

OP posts:
Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 16:42

Honestly op I think it's your tone. The OP (imp) comes across a superior and braggy.

Or maybe people felt that you were competing with other Christmas posts trying to prove you were better.

I know people who do this. And they are like it in real life.

If you have gone out for a drink, they went for champagne etc

OddSocksHighHeels · 29/11/2015 16:43

Wait a minute. You don't know that status was about you then do you? If her friends, that can't have seen your posts I assume, are commenting on it then maybe there's somebody in mind that they all know who has pissed them off. What made you assume it was about you?

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 29/11/2015 16:44

Hang on, I thought you said earlier that these comments were made to you, not that someone else's status was apparently alluding to you?

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