...to wish that 3 particular words would vanish from mumsnet forever.

[BertrandRussell]

They only ever seem to be used to diminish and try to shut down discussion. To deflect from somebody's argument without addressing it, and to try to make the other person look irrational and/or mean spirited, or to characterise their point as an overreaction, however moderately it's been been put. They are the polemical equivalent of playing the player not the ball.

The words are froth/frothing/frothers, sneer/sneery/sneering and hate/haters.

Will Nyone join me in. Moratorium?

Yes to all the SN brigade crap.

Also to those (usually right wing people) who get in first to belittle someone's opposing argument by saying the lefties are "screaming" about this.

Ditto people who have racist or otherwise offensive views and say in advance "the PC brigade will be along to shut down discussion "

Chav isn't really a MN word.

I would consider it to be a word you should avoid using on MN.

I hate it too, and don't use it anyway, but I think it's already on the MN banned list.

Along with retard, or any insult ending in tard - fucktard etc.

Don't use those here.

I don't really worry about the actual words, it's the way it's said. All the patronising and pretend misunderstanding.

Goady is ,a term I hate.

I think that a poster who accuses a person of being goady is very often goady themselves.
I have seen that word used so many tmes, try and shut down discussion.
Strangely enough I no longer mind the word cunt. It's used so much I've become immune to it.

"Royalty" which has been replaced with "you are a long term poster" or "prominent/prolific poster".

I couldn't t care less

Yes you do.
You went to the bother of going on a thread and typing I couldn't care less.
You do care.

I find "naice" very useful, and one of the reasons I find it so is that it isn't used either as an insult or approvingly, but either as the occasion demands, and it's very evocative.

Also "special snowflake". I think it's the opposite of bullying - it's someone refusing to be bullied (though I think "bullying/bullied" also overused on here in regards to adults) by someone who insists that they are more special than anyone else, and if you don't suspend your entire life and appreciate their specialness, then you are a terrible person/a bigot/the devil incarnate.

I admit that my nails-on-a-blackboard words and phrases are totally unreasonable ones to object to, but here they are anyway:

"hubby/hubs/hubster"
"little ones"
"munch" - as in "something for my toddler to munch".
"snack on" - as in "something for my toddler to snack on".

Don't know why they give me the shudders, but they do. I don't have any toddler/snack trauma in my life, so maybe it's just a reaction to tweeness?

Hang on, there aren't going to be any words left at this rate.

I do think some of the expressions are ok if you're using them about yourself (eg pearl clutching) but insulting if referring to someone else. "Frother" I think falls into that category. "Haters" is fine for a mock-flounce but should never be said seriously - for one thing it's dead childish. I can't think of any acceptable use of the word "sneer" in a debate. Last place I saw it (probably the same thread that inspired this one) it seemed to be the user's preferred synonym for "disagree".

There's a thread around titled 'What sayings do you hate?' and there's so many that I think all sayings are annoying to someone, I don't think anyone can post anything without someone getting cross.

What's "Menz". Not come across that one yet.

undertones of assumed superiority and piety. Agree that we should address the argument, not the arguer, and keep emotive words to a minimum.

This. A thousand times.

If would ban any sort of response that isn't helpful!

It would cut down the length of most threads by at least half and you would read some actual advice rather than 100 posts if "here's a grip" "gosh your frothing about nothing".

Those posts aren't even helpful! Personally I think it shows a lack of ability to reply and says more about the poster than the OP!

And btw I hope that MN NEVER ban the word cunts

I think the concept of sanitising the vocabulary used by such a diverse amalgamation of individuals is a bit odd. Just let people speak as they wish - within the confines of the law and hopefully a modicum of decency. You really can't go round policing free speech!

I don't mind the frothing, sneering or hating so much, but I find 'special snowflake' very unpleasant. It seems to be used mainly by posters who can't imagine why anyone would have a different perspective from theirs.

Menz is complicated. Some men especially MRAs will respond to any serious article about sexual discrimination/DV/FGM/breast cancer by saying "why are we all talking about this in relation to women when nobody ever talks about testicular cancer/male victims of DV/circumcision/this bloke I heard about who was bullied on his midwifery course". This response is normally parodied/belittled as "What about the Menz?!" However it is not entirely unknown for certain less reasonable feminists to attack perfectly legitimate points about male suicide rates/academic underachievement in boys as being "what about the poor woobie Menz?" It's all a bit toxic.

Like "mansplaining" which is definitely a "thing", but sometimes overdiagnosed.

We can't ban "vile"!

Shirley Jackson used it so perfectly in The Haunting of Hill House.

Maryz we could make December 'love bomb' month and ask MNHQ to delete anything that isn't helpful, supportive, full of empathy or not in agreement with the OP.

Agree that 'bullying' is overused. Nope, just a lot of people disagree with you.

Come to think of it, when people are lining up to tell me I'm wrong, I do generally consider the possibility that I might actually be wrong, rather than deciding I'm being bullied. Probably I need more self-confidence.

Perhaps I'm just traumatised by having been labelled a 'frother' along with BertrandRussell on what was, in fact, a pretty calm and well-argued thread.

Suck it up
Get a grip
Have my first ever biscuit

The first two are patronising as hell.

The last one is just stupid.

I sort of love our brigades.

I consider myself to be a fully paid up member of the LTB brigade.

I think MN is very much influenced by the voices of our "SN brigade".

I know the term is used as an insult, but I always think "yes, you're right. This is a place where you will not get away with disablist attitudes. There is an army of people here who won't let you away with saying things you can say elsewhere, because those things are wrong and they are offensive, and part of being here is learning to recognise that."

There are other brigades too, but those two spring to mind.

That would be hilarious Sparkling. "DP bought me an expensive car stereo for my birthday and synced it up to an MP3 player with all my favourite songs because he was worried my long commute into work would be dull and he knows how much I love music. I'm humiliated and furious because he didn't buy me jewellery like a proper boyfriend would."

"I can see how disappointed you are. Have you told him how you feel? Maybe he could apologise and take it back, or just get you some jewellery as well? Otherwise you don't have to be with a man who doesn't treat you well, I'm sure there's someone better out there for you."

It would be a proper challenge. But maybe not for a month. We could try for five minutes and work from there.

I agree "special snowflake" can be used unkindly on MN, but it perfectly describes some people. (School gate droppers anyone?)