Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

472 replies

wannaBe · 26/11/2015 14:29

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?"

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. Shock obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

OP posts:
originalmavis · 26/11/2015 19:58

It's all an act. In reality they are full of outrage and entitlement. It's true. No sense of pragmatism or humour.

Even my 11 year old whinges 'but thats not fair - that's bullying!' if I say he can't have extra custard.

AuntieStella · 26/11/2015 20:02

Yes, it was the year before.

Started well, but then (rather like a toddler who doesn't know when to stop, nor that a joke isn't funny on the umpteenth repetition) it went from MN bingo to nasty homophobia etc.

Couple of months after PB. When the MN Borg had not assimilated the new arrivals, and menstrual cycles had not been synchronised.

Mrsfrumble · 26/11/2015 20:02

Oh my god yes, the fat-ball munching husband has to be my favourite MN thread of all time. It was the despairing tone of the OP which implied her DH did that sort of thing all the time. Even now the words "artisan scotch egg" sometimes pop into my head and make me snigger.

usual · 26/11/2015 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passmethecrisps · 26/11/2015 20:05

Here. Did any of you know that garlic on your skin burns like a mofo? Nothing to do with the thread but, you know? If I start my own thread I might need to be careful who i offend. Friends of aliums?

DioneTheDiabolist · 26/11/2015 20:06

YANBU OP. I think that the extreme replies are putting normal people off posting about everyday stuff and MN is sadder because of it.

I started a thread in Site Stuff asking for a Moany Topic, because I think we need one to counter all the threads that descend into bunfights or that posters take to illogical conclusions.

Maryz · 26/11/2015 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 26/11/2015 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quiero · 26/11/2015 20:15

Ah the P&B invasion. Sparks got her boobs out, one of them fell in love with our ESD. We hammered them intellectually and with our wit...those were the days.

usual · 26/11/2015 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 20:19

Do you know what as much as the P&B invasion was horrible (Justine had to contact the P&B head and tell them to pack it in IIRC) it wasn't as horrible as some of the stuff that goes on now. There was no slow burn....

Disclaimer-they were stunt boobs. The perpetrator made a small spelling error that was their downfall.

justignorethecats · 26/11/2015 20:23

Although I agree with the general points I do think there's a bit of hypocrisy. I have seen a number of posters here be 'needlessly nasty' or at least, needlessly unpleasant, a few times themselves - practice what you preach? Smile

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/11/2015 20:25

Really just? A number of posters?

meditrina · 26/11/2015 20:30

I liked the P&B trolls. They weren't nasty.

And they did include one with the user names of their most prolific contributors in Baby Names, a roman-a-clef of Inverness Caledonian Thistle's managerial woes in Relationships, and footie fan fiction in Adult Fiction.

Trolls who knew their way round the topics better than quite a swathe of MNetters, it seems.

justignorethecats · 26/11/2015 20:34

Well - yes, in fact.

I am actually a little surprised to see some of the names above complaining that Mumsnet is filled with rude and unpleasant posts - they are, but some are, I would say, certainly part of the problem. Not in any major way but I have seen threads turn unpleasant after some posts from 'regulars' - that's not a 'royalty' comment, just a fact that there are a group of posters who don't namechange and have been here a while and do carry some 'weight' insofar as people will listen to them and pay attention to their posts. That's not a bad thing; it's a natural part of forum interaction.

It is by the by as I do actually agree with the OP!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/11/2015 20:36

I'm going to read back and see who you mean just Grin

justignorethecats · 26/11/2015 20:38

Oh cripes, don't do that! I tried to sound all vague! Grin

SwedeDreams · 26/11/2015 20:43

Polite and reasonable discussion. Between adults. That would be nice. And jokes have affordably to be slightly contentious or they are not funny.

Imho the only way of doing this is make not name changing or being horrible more appealing.

We need tickers. For eg

SwedeDreams has been on MN for nine years, it's been six months since her last 'ahem' she has made 1522 irrelevant posts and earned 285750 PARD points in the last month

crumpet · 26/11/2015 20:43

MN how it used to be: when Beety invited the whole of MN to camp in her field for a weekend. And a large percentage did.

Can you imagine that happening now?

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 26/11/2015 20:48

Only if we can have an intelligent discussion topic too, maryz. The sort of threads I used to come here looking for but don't seem to exist anymore.

I agree with you OP. It's been this bad for a few months though. I've lost count of the number of threads I've opened where I've thought WTF after the first few replies.

I do think it stems from the penis beaker. A huge influx of posters who were aware of the perceived reputation of the site rather than the more usual route of looking around and finding your feet for a bit before joining.

TheExMotherInLaw · 26/11/2015 20:50

I've only been here three months, so am only just getting used to mn. I am astonished by some of the sheer nastiness that explodes from nowhere. There do seem to be a few names that crop up...
I did venture onto Gransnet, as I am old, but I'm not and never will be a gran, and got a bit chewed out, so crept back here.
I wonder, is there more mn exposure on FB now, so attracting different people? (I found mn via FB, I have to admit) Yes, I know that was a judgey comment - but just wondering?

MistressMerryWeather · 26/11/2015 20:50

The P&B invasion was surreal.

I think I spent a whole afternoon/evening repeating 'What the fuck?'

Poor SparklingBrooke.

MistressMerryWeather · 26/11/2015 20:50

Bold fail.

Whaa.

meditrina · 26/11/2015 20:52

I missed the sparkling tits.

Do I need to revise my opinion?

Sparklingbrook · 26/11/2015 20:56

I never actually saw my stunt breasts. they had something written on them in lipstick apparently possibly 'Pie and Bovril'. The person that did it didn't like me much it seemed....

Swipe left for the next trending thread