Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

472 replies

wannaBe · 26/11/2015 14:29

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?"

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. Shock obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

OP posts:
nancy75 · 27/11/2015 19:44

Is it really? I thought it was a pretend thing!

nancy75 · 27/11/2015 19:45

Good thing I've never been called in, I would have got 10 years for contempt

M4blues · 27/11/2015 20:01

here is her wiki entry

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/11/2015 20:10

Judge rinder is not a judge. He rocks though.

Gowgirl · 27/11/2015 20:14

I think judge rinder was a barrister...hes compulsive watching thoughGrin

M4blues · 27/11/2015 20:15

Fanjo, yes but he is a barrister isn't he? So I'll let him off!

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 20:22

I would love Judge Rinder to come round and sort the petty squabbles my teens have.

usual · 27/11/2015 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/11/2015 20:26

I only saw first part of that and thought you had written you wanted him to come and sort YOU out. Might not have much luck there!

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 20:27

Grin I would love him to come and be guest moderator of AIBU. Free reign to delete and ban.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/11/2015 20:27

I love Judge Rinder. I refuse to allow my DCs to watch Jeremy Kyle when I am in the room anyway so we compromised on Judge Rinder

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 20:28

Judge Rinder is educational. DS1 (16) watched a few with me and he was suitably Hmm at the shenanigans.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/11/2015 20:29

He would be like the male version of AnyFucker, don't you think?

"Well he is obviously a cocklodger of the first degree and as you have no written contract...LTB"

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/11/2015 20:31

Judge Rinder would be good at my DCs' school I think. They seem to have endless dramas involving a large cast of people being "like totally really unfair though"

Actually he could come and live in our house

Grin
Samcro · 27/11/2015 22:36

M4blues jimjams and Davros were my hero's when I joined mn

bumbleymummy · 27/11/2015 22:39

I haven't seen saintlyjimjams in aaaages. She was lovely.

bumbleymummy · 27/11/2015 22:40

Is lovely Blush I'm sure she's still around somewhere!

Samcro · 27/11/2015 22:44

i have seen her not too long ago

Devora · 27/11/2015 22:53

I've been here since 2003. These things ebb and flow - but I'm sure it's inevitable that as the site gets bigger and bigger, more unreasonable behaviour will get unleashed. Back in the days when all were fields, it felt more like a village so we were forced to be more civil to each other.

Samcro · 27/11/2015 23:13

i joined in 2006 and there were problems back then and in some ways it was worse.
the disalist stuff was awful back then. the sn topic wasn't opt out and had some awful stuff posted on threads. we had trolls that targeted the sn topic, mn hq back then left really vile threads in the name of education.
there was no editing of thread titles......but that meant that spaz in a tread title was left.....
and god help you if your thread went really bad at the weekend......cos you were sunk utill monday.
mn has improved in lots of ways

Justanotherlurker · 27/11/2015 23:26

I've been lurking for years under different logins and not many posts, the same topic has come up many times over the years, IMO it is just a natural cycle of online forums I think the overall discourse over the Internet has changed and it's not just an MN issue.

A few of us went through our old tech forums from late 90's and even then we was moaning about the recent influx because of the free aol discs meant more people where coming online.

SoleBizzzz · 28/11/2015 00:21

Samcro is spot on. My memory too of MN in 2006.

Jux · 28/11/2015 11:34

Definitely cyclical. I remember finding MN when dd was a baby and I was having problems getting her to sleep through the night, she's 16 now so it was a loooong time ago. I joined in 2005; there have been many threads like this.

As Justanotherlurker says, the basic nature of online discourse changes over time, and this is reflected in MN.

BIWI · 28/11/2015 14:50

There have been many threads like this - I joined in 2006 as well, so I've been around for a while! - but it's definitely not the same. The humour and obvious wit isn't there any more. All those threads full of people saying they're 'crying with laughter' at obvious, crude stories or jokes (penis beaker, anyone?). It's different from when I first joined.

I know the site is much bigger now, and I suppose it's inevitable that things will have changed.

One thing I feel has happened too is an insidious nastiness creeping into threads, almost as an accepted norm. And I think it affects us all. I've been really interested reading this thread about the apparent hypocrisy of 'regular' or older posters, and I suspect some of this is actually a true observation.

It's made me realise that I've posted recently on a couple of threads in a pretty sharp way, rather than a more compassionate or empathetic way, which isn't a good thing. So I'm not doing that from now one I'm going back to embrace PARD.

Oh, and whilst I feel uncomfortable about naming posters on this thread, I feel even more uncomfortable about general assertions or accusations that aren't backed up in any way, that are just left to hang - so leaving lots of us, no doubt, wondering if that's us. And even more comfortable about stupid posts about left wing posters Hmm

flippinada · 28/11/2015 17:36

YY to wondering about the 'lefties are all ' posts. Has someone conducted an empirical study into this intriguing phenomenon?

And while I'm here, why is the term 'do-gooder' used with such scorn? Why has it become synonymous with being a sanctimonious busybody? I'd quite like to reclaim it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread