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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

472 replies

wannaBe · 26/11/2015 14:29

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?"

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. Shock obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

OP posts:
Samcro · 27/11/2015 16:32

ooh a weird bikers site sounds like fun

usual · 27/11/2015 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Freezingwinter · 27/11/2015 16:40

Which thread are you guys on about? Nosey..

VestaCurry · 27/11/2015 16:56

The change I've noticed is posters often being asked, "are you new?", which really means 'we have a way of doing things on here which you clearly don't understand', as if there's some kind of initiation ceremony involving strange handshakes and the like Hmm.

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 17:01

I wouldn't ask 'are you new?' but if I see it being asked I assume the poster has unwittingly started the bajillionth thread about one of those topics.

M4blues · 27/11/2015 17:18

But if he or she is new then there's good chance that they have never discussed it on MN. Just because I remember chat being a new topic, just one education board and no AIBU it would be fairly mean of me to say 'why dont you search? There was a thread about that in 2004 then another in 2007'

M4blues · 27/11/2015 17:22

And I seem to remember that things like P&T parking threads were quite supportive and reasonable when I joined in 2003. In fact probably only started kicking off from about 2006/7.

originalmavis · 27/11/2015 17:27

There are some threads that come up as regular as clockwork. Still, there's no need for the coded 'haven't you done a search for this, you lazy sod?'.

Can't they have a special place for us mouldies? Mouldiesnet? I'm getting bored with the lack of humour or irony. I've been asked if I've ment to be 'soooo rooood' more times around here in the past few months than in the last ten years. Which is a bit of a passive aggressive cliche in itself.

In the old days people were more up for a laugh. I think we need it now more than ever. When did it get so serious? Or are the trolls out in force?

Hurumph. God I'm getting like Alf Garnet... (In the sense of a grumpy old whinger, not racist bigot. I'm not bald either).

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 17:29

Yes, exactly so I wouldn't say 'are you new?'. I might say ' if past threads are anything to go by this might not end well'.
If the original threads were years ago nobody would remember.

I have only been here since 2011 myself. If it was like it is now when I joined I wouldn't have hung about TBH.

Want2bSupermum · 27/11/2015 17:32

vesta I get 'why are you posting if you don't live here?' As much as I would love my parenting issues to be different it's the same shit 3000 miles away. Its just as annoying as the 'Are you new here?'

BrandNewAndImproved · 27/11/2015 17:40

I've been here since about 2011 as well sparkling but with different names.is it weird I remember the photo of your cat when there was the cat in the wheelie bin thread

I think it's a lot less clicky now but also less kind. You can't have it both way either. I have what I consider MN friends and there are posters who I usually agree with but even if we don't agree they aren't rude and I'm not rude. It's ok to have different views.

I hate the copying and bolding of one sentence in a post taking it out of context and forever arguing the point of this one sentence. It happens all the time now.

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 17:45

I would not post a picture of my cat any more Brand. someone might be upset by it or it might lead to a cat poo in the garden thread that runs into pages. Complete with tips on poisoning/shooting etc...

M4blues · 27/11/2015 17:55

When I joined in 2003, it was mostly the same bunch of posters inmost threads. There was no separate SN board so posters like Jimjams and Davros posted about their sons with autism on the main boards and everyone including me learned a vast amount about a little known condition. This proved invaluable for me years later when my ds3 was diagnosed. Scummymummy was on most threads dishing it out like she saw it. Straight talking and very funny.

I haven't seen posters like Jimjams around for quite a while. Most newish posters probably wouldn't realise that in years gone by she was a very well thought of regular posters.

But it wasn't all sweetness. The abuse that poor Martianbishop received following her husband's death was appalling!

BrandNewAndImproved · 27/11/2015 17:57

Sad sparkling

IrisVillarca · 27/11/2015 17:59

I don't know about 'are you new?' Posters were saying that 6 years ago when I joined. Got ticked off on a thread once because someone was like all jaded about the topic and didn't I know how it would end, being a little newbie and all.

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 18:02

If I was new and someone asked me 'are you new?' I would say 'yes-what have I done?' And ask for an explanation.

bumbleymummy · 27/11/2015 18:02

"I hate the copying and bolding of one sentence in a post taking it out of context and forever arguing the point of this one sentence. It happens all the time now."

This with feckin bells hanging off it!

One poster on a thread did this to me and, I'm not kidding, pasted it at least 20 times on the thread. Every one of them got deleted iirc but the worst thing about it was that people were laughing and encouraging her Hmm

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 18:05

What was that thread about bumbley?

Owllady · 27/11/2015 18:27

I've been asked if I'm a man :(

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 18:31

You can't be a man Owl. You don't have man/dad in your NN you are a ladeee. Grin

Owllady · 27/11/2015 18:37

Yes, well you're an area in Birmingham :o have you been accused of being Coventry?

Owllady · 27/11/2015 18:39

Sorry, I should explain I do realise it's sparkbrook and actually you live in Wales Blush
And the confusion we me lies with the fact I have a cock :chicken keeper:
As long as I don't start fancying pigeons, I think I'll be ok on the man front

Sparklingbrook · 27/11/2015 18:42

I don't live in Wales. Grin

bumbleymummy · 27/11/2015 18:43

A typically controversial subject sparkling. Hard to stay civil when people are behaving like that. Although I think that's their intention. Definitely falls into the category of 'GF' imo.

Owllady · 27/11/2015 18:44

Yes, yes of course not
Baby pasta
Pom bears

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