Offered a lift, everyone assumed it would be free...now what?

[liftissues]

I've been on here for years but have NC for this thread as it's pretty identifying (if any of my friends are on MN - possible - and I'd rather they didn't know my normal posting name!)

I'm out with some female friends this weekend - we're going for a few drinks/meal etc in a nearby town, about 5-6 miles away. A cab would be a minimum of £15. There's about 8-10 of us going in all.

Anyway, I mentioned it to my boyfriend, who said he'd give me and another 3 friends (he's got a normal 5 seater, so that's all that will fit) a lift into town. He's not working at the moment, and hasn't been for the last 6-8 weeks - he's waiting for a contract to start which should be early in the NY, and although he has some savings, obviously they are starting to dwindle away slowly, especially with Xmas coming up - so he said could we give him a tenner? (so still a lot less than a cab) which seemed fair to me.

I dropped the 3 friends who live nearest a group text letting them know about the lift - but I didn't mention the £10. Now they've all assumed it's free, and have said they'll split cab fares with the others who have to get a cab (but that I don't need to chip in).

In a sense it's not an issue, I can afford to give my bloke the £10 myself - and not mention it to either him or them - but I'm just thinking what if they mention it in the car? I don't want them to feel bad for not offering him any money, or him to feel bad for asking, but I think if I go back now, when they've told all the others and agreed to split their fares it's just going to be a right mess.

WIBU to keep quiet? Or what else should I do?

Is it not highly likely that someone will thank him profusely for the 'free' lift?

If it's causing you this much angst just get a cab.

I also think it's off that he's expecting money for a lift.

I think, in his current employment situation, that asking for money to cover his petrol costs is ok. Profiteering from it isn't on though.

Why didn't you mention the £10 charge when you offered your friends a lift? You seem surprised that they assumed it was free
They were discussing cab fares, and you said "oh, don't worry guys, bf has offered to drop us there"... There is no way anyone would extrapolate from that that they had to pay your partner instead of the taxi driver.
I wouldn't have entertained his suggestion in the first place, tbh. If he wants to pick up a few quid doing nixers; your friends are not the place to start.

He can't charge your friends for the lift.

He can say that he can't do it unless someone pays him a tenner, in which case you can pay the tenner.

He can do it for free, because it's 6 miles each way, so 12 miles all-in, and that's not long - probably half an hour in the car? That's nothing.

He can't not charge you, but charge your friends. This isn't a money making opportunity. If you offer people a lift, unless you're going on a long journey, they'll presume it's free.

How did it even come up that he was expecting to be paid? I'd have offered to put petrol in DP's car in the circumstances, but I wouldn't let him charge my friends.

A tenner?!! My god - how embarrassing - sorry but really

It's not a lift if he's charging is it? It's a cab journey, it's just illegal as he's not a cab driver.

"Do you want a lift?" is free.

What you should have said was "if we give him a tenner DP will drop us off"

£10 is a lot for a maximum 12mile round trip. That would cost me around £1.20 in petrol.

So what if someone thanks him for the "free" lift? Let him explain that he wasn't doing anyone a favour, he was just doing a spot of moonlighting and undercutting the local cab company.

I'd feel differently about him though, if it were me.

Most people aren't answering the ops question which was 'if I give him the tenner, how do I stop anyone saying anything'?
The op wasn't asking for opinions on whether it's stingy.
So, I think someone will say something. If I was one of the friends, I would definitely be thanking your dp profusely, which would be identifying.
If anyone says anything, I'd just say once it's happened 'don't worry, I've covered it'.

You should have said no to your boyfriend, binned him and got a taxi after all. To make money out of giving your friends a lift (and he would be making about £7 out of that £10) is horrible.

But he's not putting himself out! Nobody asked him to do it. He offered. Except he didn't. What he's trying to do is charge a cab fare for it.

I would just get a cab, seriously.

Fancy expecting your friends to know they were being charged for a "lift".

If you forsee a problem just give him the tenner and that you feel awkward asking them in this situation as you hadn't already mentioned it. He can either accept our decline - his choice. Not a big deal?

I think he is being very grabby indeed and that you would be a bit if you retrospectively asked them for money.

If I was one of your friends I would prefer to spend the extra quid and get a taxi.

I think people should contribute to petrol without being asked but not in this case.

Yeah...sorry but there is no way under these circumstances people would assume a fare would be charged. It's weird.

Either pay him yourself, or save him the trouble and get a cab for a little more.

He doesn't want to make money - he was trying to be nice. I can understand that in his current situation he needs to ask for some money as well.

Also I didn't jump into a discussion about cab fares - there'd been no discussion at that point. I text saying about the lift, then they all said great, we'll split the other's cab fares with them as we'll be saving money.

I didn't think of asking them for some money by text - I thought on the night they might say shall we give you something and I'd just say to give us a couple of quid, and that would be that.

They don't know he's not been working btw. And he's not my partner - we're in a long term relationship but we don't live together, all our finances are separate etc.

He's only charging a fiver less than an actual cab! Split between 4 that would be barely any saving for them, with a lot more awkwardness. Back out with plenty of notice.

I'd just get a cab to be honest and tell your boyfriend that you just can't ask friends for money.

It would just never occur to me to give someone money for a lift in that situation.

And agree no one is going to say thanks for the 'free' lift - they will surely just say 'thanks for the lift' because no one would expect to have to pay in that situation.

Does he drive a tank?
I have appalling fuel economy and that journey would only cost £2.50 or so.
I don't think it's right to charge for such a short journey but it's certainly not ok to profit massively from it. If journey is 30 mins he's charging for his time at £15 an hour....

Honestly your friends are not going to offer him any money - no one would in that situation.

You'll just have to give him the £10 and hope he doesn't mention anything to your friends or be prepared for some very odd looks from them for the rest of the evening.

How is asking them for a tenner not making money?! That's way more than the cost of petrol!

So you and your three friends would be saving about £1 each by getting this lift?

Is it really worth it for all this angst?

Why didn't you tell your friends he was offering to be a cheap taxi rather than he was offering you a lift? I wonder if you're a bit embarrassed.

It's not unreasonable for your friends to assume it's a free lift.

lol you can't offer a lift and expect people to pay for it? then its not a lift...its just a cheaper taxi

I get reimbursed mileage for work, 45p a mile. That's £5.40 for a12 mile journey. £10 is taking too piss. If he's out of work and wants to drive he should join Uber.