Offered a lift, everyone assumed it would be free...now what?

[liftissues]

I've been on here for years but have NC for this thread as it's pretty identifying (if any of my friends are on MN - possible - and I'd rather they didn't know my normal posting name!)

I'm out with some female friends this weekend - we're going for a few drinks/meal etc in a nearby town, about 5-6 miles away. A cab would be a minimum of £15. There's about 8-10 of us going in all.

Anyway, I mentioned it to my boyfriend, who said he'd give me and another 3 friends (he's got a normal 5 seater, so that's all that will fit) a lift into town. He's not working at the moment, and hasn't been for the last 6-8 weeks - he's waiting for a contract to start which should be early in the NY, and although he has some savings, obviously they are starting to dwindle away slowly, especially with Xmas coming up - so he said could we give him a tenner? (so still a lot less than a cab) which seemed fair to me.

I dropped the 3 friends who live nearest a group text letting them know about the lift - but I didn't mention the £10. Now they've all assumed it's free, and have said they'll split cab fares with the others who have to get a cab (but that I don't need to chip in).

In a sense it's not an issue, I can afford to give my bloke the £10 myself - and not mention it to either him or them - but I'm just thinking what if they mention it in the car? I don't want them to feel bad for not offering him any money, or him to feel bad for asking, but I think if I go back now, when they've told all the others and agreed to split their fares it's just going to be a right mess.

WIBU to keep quiet? Or what else should I do?

Well my answer certainly wouldn't have been "yes, don't let them take advantage" if you'd offered them a lift. What advantage could possible be taken?
Except by the person sticking a meter in the car, of course...

Covering costs is one thing, making money is another entirely.

CheekyMaleekey sums it up even better than Horton, OP: "cringe" .

I think it's pretty insulting of the OP actually to dismiss everyone here as trolls just because the majority has a different view than her.

What a modifying read! My heart sinks a little more with each reply from OP

You're an absolute fool if you give him £10 out of your own pocket. Why do that? Why lie to your bf and your friends? Are you scared of him or just (quite rightly) embarrassed.
Why not just say to him Look, I forgot to mention the £10 to my mates and now thinking about it it seems really tight. I could just give you a couple of quid for the petrol or if you don't want to do it we can easily get a taxi.
BTW I'm a contractor, often in between contracts, and never in my wildest dreams would I think of ripping off my Dh and his mates when I could give them a lift.

From the thread title I thought this was going to be a post about driving hundreds of miles, not five!

Your boyfriend's 'lift' is just a cheaper cab ride. It's not a favour if he's getting paid for it. It's work!

"Look, the thing that is weird OP is you not just saying to him 'oops I didn't mention the tenner and they think it's a lift' but instead lying to him and to your friends.

That does say to me you are either wary of his reaction or you are embarrassed.

And, I know you don't agree, but charging for lifts IS weird."

This ^^.

Why can't you just be honest with him and tell him you forgot to tell your friends about being charged?

This is hilarious. Do people actually live these lives?!

I reckon the OP owes every one of us a tenner for ploughing through this thread.

To be fair, that's a very unfair fare. Fair enough, if the fare was fair, but for just that far? That fare's not fair.

You win.

All the fun of the fare on MN!

Have you been working on that all day eggs?

Roar @ Eggs

Oh Eggs you've given me a 'lift' on this wet drizzly Friday

I don't get why you'd pay your boyfriend £10 for a 5-6 mile journey or why he'd ask you for money anyway. It's 6 miles not 60 and it's not going to cost £10 in petrol.

Very weird situation altogether...

I wish taxi fares were as cheap around here - £22.80 for 6 miles / 20 minutes drive.

Bet you wish you'd never posted OP!

Someone offers you a lift, you accept, they drop you off, you say thanks for the lift. That's it.

It's a non issue OP. Just take it on the nose, pay the £10, accept the free trip home and next time be more organised he wants cash

Also OP, it's just ONE lift. It can't be compared to daily work lifts or a long distance trip

Can't you just give him the £10 and tell him the truth i.e. you haven't asked your friends for money for the "lift" because that would be tight and embarrassing? I appreciate that might make him bad about it but he should feel bad. It's really not on to try and profit from giving friends like that.

Oh no this is terribly, terribly embarrassing all round. I cannot believe this is real.

Asking for a contributionto petrol is very different to actually expecting to profit out of dropping your girlfriend off with her pals for a night out!

No, no, no. Awful.

Ugh. I really dislike tightness and it is tight to profit from friends (who actually sound lovely, splitting taxi fares)

I used to have a seven seater and a kind DH regularly picked up groups of drunken women in the early hours to drive them to their doors and quite often had to escort them up paths and unlock their doors. If he had asked to be paid for this I very seriously would have rethought my feelings for him. I really think that generosity and kindness are two of the most important qualities in a mate.

Wouldn't be actually be embarrassed to sit there and take £2.50 each off his DP's friends?

You don't seem to be answering why you think it is acceptable for him to charge more than it actually costs, even if you agree with covering petrol costs for lifts?