to not send my Dd back to school until they address my concerns

[Allisgood1]

I am fuming.

Dd is 7. She is VERY shy and sensitive (and yes, probably very annoying for teachers).

In June she fell off a fence after school and hurt her wrist. The next morning she was fine but she was holding her wrist close to her. DH took her to school and specifically asked that she not do PE as she had a sprained wrist. She did PE. When I picked her up they said "oh she was fine to do it". Dd was still holding her wrist in one position and very tearful. I took her to ooh and she had a broken wrist. Our fault for not realizing but we also hadn't been with her all day.

About two weeks ago she had a filling at the dentist. The next morning she was complaining of pain so we gave her calpol and ibuprofen and sent her to school (with the meds) and told the office to call us if she got any worse. That afternoon when DH picked up her teacher said she shouldn't have been sent in. That evening an ooh dentist diagnosed her with an abcsess. When I emailed the teacher to explain she would likely be late in Monday as we were taking her to the dentist she said that Dd was "unable to concentrate and very tearful on Friday". Wtf wasn't I called then!????

Yesterday was final straw. She was fine going in but had missed two doses of antibiotics because school didn't give them to her at lunch and didn't give them to her at going home time (by the time we realized it was evening). I had a call from the office saying Dd had been for her flu vaccine and the nurse had taken her temp and it was "very high" and the nurse had advised she go home. Dd got home and looked awful. How in the hell did she go all day without anyone noticing "Dd looks unwell".

The school is new and they obviously care about their Ofsted but the neglect in care to protect attendance records has resulted in a loss of trust. I emailed the head and said she won't be coming back until I am able to come in and review their sickness at school policy. Am I overreacting?

Not true, Crayfish. I have seen plenty of threads (had 2 myself) where the people came down at least 50% or more against the school. I think there's only a few supporting the OP here, because she's being a bit U.

I think the school do sound a bit shit in that they didn't call you when your dd wasn't well. However I do think that you need to stop worrying and trying to avoid being called in if your attendance drops below 90%. If a child is ill and needs to be at home then that is that and the school can bog off with their ridiculous 'tellings off'. I think you are letting that cloud your judgement when perhaps you would have kept her off otherwise?

Ot isn't the schools hob to think on your behalf, you are the parent.

And i'm a real demon regarding school attendence but even I wouldnt send a child into school after a filling, partly because theyre quite painful and partly because of the effects of the meds. They wiped my 16yr old out, she could barely lift her head off the sofa afterwards.

I don't think you're a bad mum.

I do think you need help becoming more confident in knowing when to keep your child off school. Attendance is important but kids get sick/hurt that's life.

I also think you would really benefit from doing a child health/first aid course. Holding her wrist the way she was is a fairly good indication there was more than a sprain going on. Personally (and I'm ex nurse myself) I'd have taken her to dr as soon as I knew about the accident (who was with her when it happened?).

I think it would also be a good idea to sort out a way your daughter can communicate how much pain she's in. There's loads of 'smiley' charts online you could print off to use with her.

I operate on when in doubt keep her home BUT dd also knows if she were to swing the lead she'd be in BIG trouble!

op...is your dd's attendance already below 90 ? Have you had warnings already ?

If not, I fail to see why you are so concerned about getting a "telling off" that you have sent her to school 1) with a broken wrist 2) with a dental abscess and 3) requiring regular strong medication

Button I'm an adult, I am able to leave work if I get worse. However OPs child had a broken wrist and was in anti biotics? It wasn't like she had a cold that got worse... She should never have been sent into school in the first place. I believe my post to be constructive, hopefully OP reads it and realises that she was in the wrong, not the school.

I agree that you need to stop worrying about the school's attendance records and being "told off" if your child's attendance drops below the magic figure. That wouldn't even figure in my decision as to whether or not to keep them at home.

Are they unwell? Don't send them in and the school can stick their attendance figures where the sun don't shine and they will only "tell you off" if you let them. Parents need to be a bit more assertive when school policy is plainly ridiculous.

I also agree that if the school signed the form to administer antibiotics and didn't, they are clearly at fault. Also at fault if they said she didn't have to do PE but was made to do so after all.

The rest of it - not calling you when your child was ill - well I'm a bit more on the fence. With a class of 20-30 it isn't the teacher's job to monitor unwell-ness unless the child vomits or is otherwise obviously ill. As for not realising the wrist was actually broken - fractures in young children aren't always that obvious are they? Maybe trust your own judgment a bit more in future. Parents' instinct about their child's state of health is usually pretty accurate.

op said she couldn't judge her dd's wrist injury because she was already in bed when she got home

so who could judge it then ? Who put this girl to bed and got up with her in the morning ?

if the girl is very quiet and shy as a matter of course it is very unlikely she would speak up at school and they would assume someone with parental responsibility has deemed her fit enough to be there

In your first sentence you said that your daughter was very shy and sensitive, and probably a bit annoying for teachers, though you didn't go into details. Does she fuss a lot which makes her annoying? If so it could be a case of 'the boy who cried wolf'.

eddie I'd assumed rthe opposite - that the OP's dd will sit quietly and blend in and won't speak out if ill or upset.

OP I don't think you've done anything wrong, I think these sort of things just happen sometimes and you've had an unlucky run of them. But if you know your dd tends to underplay how badly she's hurt/feeling, you can afford vto be more cautious and keep her at home more - you can always change your mind mid morning if all's well and take her in.

Have you all RTFT??!!!

The OP.has explained her DD did not have serious pain when she sent her in, the wrist seemed ok and she didn't have a temp when she left home.

I would have sent my child in in all of those circumstances. If we all kept our DC of in "just in case" scenarios, they'd miss loads of school!

OP ignore the idiotic responses here. A lot of people in AIBU just want to have a go, whatever you post they'll argue with. I've given up posting for real advice here.

I would say YANBU to keep your DD home to administer the antibiotics yourself, until the school can reassure you that can manage it.

I think the lesson to learn here is that in the past parents complained like hell about kids being sent home so the school try not to if they don't think its serious. SO if you are in any doubt about sending in just don't - but sometimes that is easier said than done as there are other pressures such as work.

Medication - educate your child to go and ASK and pester to get the medicine, don't rely on people remembering - most schools don't have a decent system for this - there seems to be a belief if they are good at it more will ask them so best not to bother. Yes they are busy and YES IT IS PART OF THEIR ROLE if the child is well enough to be in school e.g. tail end of course of antibiotics. In the past I have gone in myself and administered to make sure it happens, or made the three at 8am, 3.30pm and bedtime. Keeping them off till finished is not really feasible with 7 and 10 day courses and this whole lackadasical approach is contributing to resistance to AB

With breaks in children particularly wrists and arms it is sometimes difficult to identify them - even the medics needs to xray so its just one of those things, if there is any doubt go get an xray and sort it. Usually if they are protecting it its not a good sign, watch them and if they don't forget to protect it you should def get it checked.

Personally it all sounds half a dozen of one and six of the other - they shouldn't have forgotten the medicine, they haven't been quick to pick up on off colour children but how many times do we do that ourselves. In future don't rely on the school, teach your child to pester for medicine in particular (and yes mine is a quiet one as well) and if you have any doubt sort yourself.

Just pondering a bit more about this antibiotic thing

The maximum I would expect a child to need is 4 times a day. Anything more than that and I am not sure the oral route is appropriate...surely the next step is IV ?

So..a dose before school, one does at school, one after school and one before bed.

Why would the school need to give two doses ?

What anyfucker said is spot on

AF, only reason I could think of was if after school club couldn't do it. However,interestingly issue not been answered...

Natkingcole and others not reading the whole thread. Please refer to my post at 10:15. I am not going to repeat myself.

DH was with Dd when she fell. I won't excuse him for not knowing. He thought she was fine, another mum in the playground thought she was fine. He used his judgement and it was wrong. I do not blame the school for not knowing it was broken. I do blame them for making her do PE never mind the fact that they should have called me having commented on it at pick up.

School do not need to give 2 doses. They need to give one. They also agreed to ensure she would be sent home with it. It is 50% our fault for not checking as soon as she came out.

well, most after school establishments don't close after 6pm. In this situation I would have given 3rd dose at 6pm and last dose right before bed.

Yes, the last two would be a bit close together, but that happens anyway.

If a young child is that ill they require 4 doses of Abx exactly spaced evenly I reckon, by definition, they are too ill for school.

He used his judgement and it was wrong.

and the school used their judgment...so did you make a complaint to dh too?

AF. It's 3 doses, not 4. Assuming helps no one.

I would be annoyed if I signed the form for them to administer antibiotics and they didn't do it. As for pain relief, I don't think I'd of sent my child with a tooth access (not sure I'd be able to concentrate myself!) or a freshly broken wrist.

Although I can partially understand your upset, I think I'd be more concerned about my DD well being in school rather than the attendance percentage. You've just had a bad run, I'd put it down to a catalogue of errors on both sides and chalk it up to experience for the future. You'd look abit daft saying you sent her in poorly because you were worried about attendance then keeping her off to prove a point?

and the school used their judgment...so did you make a complaint to dh too?**
*
Sure did.*

If it's 3 doses, then you wouldn't give 1 at lunch and one at the end of school. There's only 3 hours gap max there.

Actually I can see you just wanted to rant and be told Yanbu.

So Yanbu. Even though it's seems odd that your way to deal with this is to keep your child off school now. Even though by your own admission you are worried about attendance

Yesterday was final straw. She was fine going in but had missed two doses of antibiotics because school didn't give them to her at lunch and didn't give them to her at going home time (by the time we realized it was evening)

That looks very much like you expected school to give her two doses of Abx. You used the same terminilogy for "administer" and "hand over the bottle at hometime" I presume.