to not send my Dd back to school until they address my concerns

[Allisgood1]

I am fuming.

Dd is 7. She is VERY shy and sensitive (and yes, probably very annoying for teachers).

In June she fell off a fence after school and hurt her wrist. The next morning she was fine but she was holding her wrist close to her. DH took her to school and specifically asked that she not do PE as she had a sprained wrist. She did PE. When I picked her up they said "oh she was fine to do it". Dd was still holding her wrist in one position and very tearful. I took her to ooh and she had a broken wrist. Our fault for not realizing but we also hadn't been with her all day.

About two weeks ago she had a filling at the dentist. The next morning she was complaining of pain so we gave her calpol and ibuprofen and sent her to school (with the meds) and told the office to call us if she got any worse. That afternoon when DH picked up her teacher said she shouldn't have been sent in. That evening an ooh dentist diagnosed her with an abcsess. When I emailed the teacher to explain she would likely be late in Monday as we were taking her to the dentist she said that Dd was "unable to concentrate and very tearful on Friday". Wtf wasn't I called then!????

Yesterday was final straw. She was fine going in but had missed two doses of antibiotics because school didn't give them to her at lunch and didn't give them to her at going home time (by the time we realized it was evening). I had a call from the office saying Dd had been for her flu vaccine and the nurse had taken her temp and it was "very high" and the nurse had advised she go home. Dd got home and looked awful. How in the hell did she go all day without anyone noticing "Dd looks unwell".

The school is new and they obviously care about their Ofsted but the neglect in care to protect attendance records has resulted in a loss of trust. I emailed the head and said she won't be coming back until I am able to come in and review their sickness at school policy. Am I overreacting?

if they developed a filling I would be mortified as well but that's just me.

I don't know who said this but again, don't judge. FYI my Dd has a condition in which the enamel on her teeth is weak (or sometimes not present). My fault again is it?

Nah, blame the school.

She had toothache? You shouldn't have sent her in

really? If I have a toothache, I make an appointment and dose myself up on painkillers. Then I go to work. Why should it be any different for children? There is way too much taking time off work/school for things that can be managed with a dose of calpol or a couple of paracetamol.

I think it's sad that so many schools are driven by attendance and as such, punish parents and children.

OP, if you spend any time at all on this forum, you'll know that school attendance monitoring is driven exclusively by central government. There's a bit of wiggle room with respect to whether or not a school issues fines but basically, if a school cannot show solid evidence of the measures it has in place to improve whole-school attendance, it can be placed in special measures.

I would suggest you clarify with the school about the issuing of medication during school time. At our school it is the child's responsibility to turn up at the office at the right time to have the medicine. School doesn't guarantee they will go and hunt out anyone who forgets to turn up. We are told that if it is imperative that a dose is taken at a given time, we have to go to school to do it.

Was there an expectation from the school that your daughter would go to the office at the right time, and if so did she know that that was what she was expected to do?

I also want to point out that had my child been in tears, or in enough physical pain that I could tell by looking at her I would never send her in. In every instance she was fine

But you say yourself in your 1st post that your daughter is quiet & sensitive. So if you couldn't see her physical pain/tears etc as her mother, why would a teacher, with many other children plus actual lessons to teach see it?

While I understand that you couldn't predict your DD's condition/well-being would worsen each time, you are being a bit U by expecting that her teachers see/know her better than you do.

I could imagine (having been a painfully shy child myself) that if there had only been a rushed " She's hurt her wrist, don't make her do PE" at the school gate, nothing in writing, no sling etc, & the teacher forgot your rushed conversation, and expected me to join in for PE, I would have. No way would I have been brave enough to say "no". So I can imagine that might have happened.

Just as you didn't know she was actually quite injured, why would a teacher know?

It would concern me if your DD was there when your DH said she shouldn't do PE and yet, in the lesson, didn't say anything when she was told she had to join in. I'm not saying it's solely her responsibility, but if somehow the message had got lost on its way to the PE teacher, at least she could have said, "My dad said I'm not to do PE."

I appreciate she is quiet, but she knew she didn't have to do PE and yet said nothing to the PE teacher. OP, you need to work on her assertiveness and self-confidence. Ask the school if they can put anything in place to help her, like giving her a responsibility which involves her having to speak to different adults.

I think you've got the replies you have because of your title. I don't think YWBU to address how they manage illness and to seek clarity but to withhold your DD's education for this reason sounds very silly and OTT.