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AIBU?

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To completely brush off friends bragging about how much she has spent on Xmas especially since she's possibly committing fraud

159 replies

SuzCorrigan1 · 20/11/2015 18:36

Top and bottom basically one of my friends (so called) who I believe to be committing benefit fraud will not stop boasting about how much money she has spent on Christmas. She has four children, she is supposedly a "struggling" single parent but nothing could be further from the truth. I found out recently (through a mutual friend) that she made her partner move in with his brother so that she could claim benefits as a single parent. Her partner has a full time job but she is greedy mare and all she thinks and talks about is money so nothing surprises me with her.

I myself am married with two children, and combined me and dh being home a decent income, nothing lavish but we live a decent life and can afford treats, holidays etc. Despite not struggling to often financially we set a budget for both our children each Christmas and we try and stick to it, they get a number of well thought out gifts that we know they will enjoy. I told my friend what I had bought my children (after she had ryhmed off each and every gift she had bought her children and the cost of all of them!) and she was literally gobsmacked and told me that their gifts sounded nice but she couldn't ever imagine spending so little! Now I've spent around £350 per child which I think is fine, but she has spent £900 per child, and whilst usually I wouldn't care what others spend (not in the slightest) she is committing fraud and she dares try and shame me! Aibu to want to end the friendship and give her a good hard slap in the face (or maybe just a cold harsh dose of reality lol)

OP posts:
ElderlyKoreanLady · 20/11/2015 22:40

Ollie you've had a rough time of it Flowers

OP, you keep using the word 'loophole'. She isn't using a loophole. The system is set up in such a way as to make it possible for her to do this legally. Picture this...if they genuinely weren't together and he was just staying on the couch 3 nights a week in order to facilitate contact with the kids, the situation outwardly would look much the same to the authorities and outsiders as it does now. Him giving her maintenance money wouldn't affect what she was in receipt of (unless she's under UB perhaps).

It is somewhat morally wrong that she'd claim what she does while in a relationship with the father of her children, who's staying over several nights a week, but the authorities cannot base entitlement on whether or not two people are sleeping together. In order to protect the person claiming, it absolutely must be worked out based on who is living in the property permanently, not whether the claimant is in a relationship.

Tink06 · 21/11/2015 11:32

I can never understand how people manage to spend so much at Christmas. My teens get 50 cash n about the same in suprises. They save up for big stuff n don't go without. I gave them more last year for laptops as they needed them for school/college but they still used there xmas money as well. They are more than happy with that.
What does it matter what your friend spends? Also if her partner doesn't live with her she isn't committing fraud.

GruntledOne · 21/11/2015 11:37

Why don't you just report her to the Benefits Office? Problem solved.

Baconyum · 21/11/2015 11:39

What saucyjack said! If she is not doing anything illegal (and frankly it doesn't sound as if she is) then myob!

chocadd1ct · 21/11/2015 12:43

OP, if your main concern is her committing fraud, then report her.not sure what your post here is supposed to solve

AcrossthePond55 · 21/11/2015 13:29

I wish someone would shit me some new curtains, mine are a bit raggy! I'd give them a good wash before hanging them, though.

Dowser · 21/11/2015 15:51

£900 on your child. Faints!

Even £350 is a lot.

We never went mad with our three. They got well treated throughout the year. Weekends away, always a nice holiday, meals out, nice present for birthday.do kids really need that much spent on them?
Surely a couple of hundred each and the rest put in a bank book for their first car/ university would be more sensible.

fuzzpig · 22/11/2015 10:52

I've read a lot of Christmas benefits threads over the years but that's the first time I've ever seen anyone advised to defecate home furnishings :o

MrEverything · 22/11/2015 11:15

This one has it all; thousands being spent on DC for Christmas, benefit cheats and shit!

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