To completely brush off friends bragging about how much she has spent on Xmas especially since she's possibly committing fraud

[SuzCorrigan1]

Top and bottom basically one of my friends (so called) who I believe to be committing benefit fraud will not stop boasting about how much money she has spent on Christmas. She has four children, she is supposedly a "struggling" single parent but nothing could be further from the truth. I found out recently (through a mutual friend) that she made her partner move in with his brother so that she could claim benefits as a single parent. Her partner has a full time job but she is greedy mare and all she thinks and talks about is money so nothing surprises me with her.

I myself am married with two children, and combined me and dh being home a decent income, nothing lavish but we live a decent life and can afford treats, holidays etc. Despite not struggling to often financially we set a budget for both our children each Christmas and we try and stick to it, they get a number of well thought out gifts that we know they will enjoy. I told my friend what I had bought my children (after she had ryhmed off each and every gift she had bought her children and the cost of all of them!) and she was literally gobsmacked and told me that their gifts sounded nice but she couldn't ever imagine spending so little! Now I've spent around £350 per child which I think is fine, but she has spent £900 per child, and whilst usually I wouldn't care what others spend (not in the slightest) she is committing fraud and she dares try and shame me! Aibu to want to end the friendship and give her a good hard slap in the face (or maybe just a cold harsh dose of reality lol)

Well exactly. Plus you've wasted fewer keystrokes.

Okay ladies, move along now, nothing to see here...

Oh well. I might a 'Peace and Love' Christmas wreath now [santa]

(I still think that Santa is creepy looking dude)

Regardless of all the discussion about friendship, gifts, or budgets and the like, the woman the OP described is committing fraud if she has a partner who is contributing monetarily to her household and she is not reporting that income. The fact that the partner may nominally be living at his/her brother's or sister's or mother's address doesn't change the fact that total household income is THE major factor re whether someone is actually eligible to receive benefits or welfare. (At least I assume that it still is; please let me know if somehow this is not true.)

£50 for my teens is one Xbox game and £10 left over at the most. So I spend more than that on them, but obviously wouldn't if I couldn't afford it. When they were younger £50 was plenty and got a few good presents. I wish £50 went further but it buys bugger all. I spent £50 on two bloody barbie dolls and an Olaf doll and that was buy two get one free. It just doesn't go far at all. I would love to be able to spend £50 and get more than one present out of it they will actually enjoy.

£900 is obscene, but that has nothing to do with her being on benefits. She might be taking advantage of the system, people do and that is morally wrong but I prefer to not have people in my life who I don't like or respect. Much easier that way.

The easiest way to get rid of her as a friend is to tell her exactly what you think of her and what you think she is doing.

If you sont want her to cone round OP- you just need to grow a spine and tell her. If she comes to the door- your busy, and you close it. Ideally you open it on the latch.

I dont approve of what shes doing OP if she is doingg what you think she is doing (and you will never know for sure) but I dont like what your doing either. If you come and slag off your friends on an internet forum- well, I hope we never cross paths that all I can say!

Each to their own. Benefit fraud or not, I think that's an obscene amount of money to spend.
My budget is £20 per person at Christmas and Birthdays. I'll possibly spend another £10 on treats for my DD who is 4.
I hate the commercial/materialistic exercise every festival/celebration has turned into. Nobody died because they didn't upgrade to an iPhone6.

{Sorry, feeling a bit over sensitive about this as my friend's just been taking donations to Calais for people who have next to nothing}

I have taken to shitting the curtains on my day off and ignoring door try it
I'm sure both your kids will be equally as happy on Christmas Day. I feel a bit mean now for spending £100 on DD and she's a teen!

YANBU. You won't win with a benefits thread on here though so I wouldn't bother.

I hate it when people can get away with shit like this. I claim sickness benefits and the hoops I have to jump through to get them is quite degrading tbh. So people like your 'friend' do really piss me off. You won't get many agreeing on here though, just lots of pulling you apart.

I hate posts like these, me and my dh are separated right now,(he cheated) have been since the beginning of the year . I kicked him out even though I wasn't in work, just after he. Left I was diagnosed with cervical cancer so I'm still off work sick. He comes round daily to see the dc and to see if I'm ok, he picks them up from school when I can't do it, because I'm not a social person no one other than my family know what's going on, so to an outsider it may seem odd, iv already heard rumours about me trying it on for more money, believe me being on the sick/dole is shit, being ill is shit, not being able to work is shit and having folk gossiping is shit. Oh and when some couples split up they can remain friends for their children's sake. I'm definitely not after tax payers money to fund a lifestyle that to be honest is not possible on benefits money for four dc. Sorry for high jacking the post op.

shitting the curtains

why are people so bothered about what others get their kids how much they spend etc. people do whats right for their familys.

fraud/benefit/money... hes got/shes got...i want/she has bla bla its boring. if some can afford or can save over a period of time shop early or what ever then great for them.

shitting the curtains on days off. That's given me a proper giggle.

My spell check changed it, it knows me to well. Shitting the curtains might get rid of her also!

Guffaw at shitting the curtains. Pa haha.

£900 is crazy unless you are extremely wealthy and it's a drop in the ocean. I'm sure her kids would much rather she spent £100 and saved the rest towards their education/deposit for a flat. They would still have a great Christmas with a mothercare pram or second hand I phone and would have a nest egg to set them up as adults. £800 X 18 years would get them just shy of £15K.