to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

[firefly78]

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

It doesn't bother me that she is a loving mother, Although how much a parent hovers around q child doesn't indicate how loving they are.

Plenty of people have posted on her that their child has been left upset because they can't get in due to parents in the way, or they have been pushed over by other parents etc etc. in a small space parents hanging around does cause trouble for other pupils. That is why our school had to send a letter asking a parents to avoid going into the cloakroom because it was causing too many issues.

Thank you enough. I find it hilarious I'm being painted as over protective when my parenting style is quite relaxed. I just think that all kids are different and if at 4 DS isn't ready to be by himself at school I'm not forcing him to due to policy.

By the same token if he's happy to go I'm okay with that too. What I'm not okay with is DS being forced into something he isn't ready for

but don't take any shit of teachers

Delightful respect there for people who you are supposed to support.

Carry on teaching your child to ignore rules and authority like this because you don't agree with it and see where it leads your child as a teenager. Terrible example to set.

Policies are there to protect all the children and staff. Schools are mini communities and you can't pick and choose which rules suit you or your child. That would be utterly selfish.

Rules applied as a blanket are bloody stupid kids are not robots.

I say this as a former TA btw

if at 4 DS isn't ready to be by himself at school I'm not forcing him to due to policy

That's fine, but don't expect the school to agree with this, I can't imagine there's a school in the country that would allow a parent to stay all day with a child (I'm quite happy to be corrected on this).

I would think that your only option if he can't be left after a reasonable settling in period is to take him home again.

This reminds me why I needed to take a break from being a Primary Teacher. "Don't take any shit off the teacher". The teacher is doing her job. You are impeding her. Strangely, some of the most openly demonstrative/clingy parents are also the ones who don't want to 'force' their children to do their reading/homework, and yet are the first to complain when they fall behind.

I find all this moaning and wailing (by parents) about not being allowed in is ridiculous. It's the teacher's workplace. Would you like to be trying to do your job whilst (loud) parents had conversations about yoga, shouted across the room at their pfb or raked around looking for a hat lost 3 weeks ago? Especially when some of them are so incredibly attention - seeking.

Tali, by the time your baby is 4 you it is unlikely he will need to to do a stand off with the teachers and fight the system. He will be fine. But yes, I'm afraid school rules are blanket rules that apply to all. Of course children are not robots and at reception teachers are very aware of this. They also have met loads over-anxious parents and are very tactful at handling this. I've had my fair share of ridiculous worries how they will handle my pfb.

need to to need you to

"Rules applied as a blanket are bloody stupid kids are not robots."

I feel the same way about the speed limit on a road near me. Sadly, in life, we learn to live by the rules or opt out e.g. use a different road or home school.

Reni I'm not an over anxious parent at all. I believe in a chilled out approach, and blanket rules do not help that.

Schools do not have to apply blanket rules. It's perfectly doable to implement different rules it's just a lot of schools cba to do it

Generally they aren't blanket rules BUT schools are only willing to be flexible when their is a need and to a reasonable level, it is when people try to take the piss that they have to tighten up the rules. When a child has a need for that bit more flexibly then any good school will work with the parents to find the best way to allow that without it disrupting others - that is unlikely to be a parent staying all day as that isn't going to look at the bigger issue or be sustainable.

At our school from October of reception parents are discouraged from going in, in year 1 onwards it's expected they will go in alone - door is right into cloakroom so no massive distances - however some parents (including me) are allowed in If needed, the teachers are on the door so generally their is so need - I have only gone in twice with ds this term when I needed to see his TA. So the flexibility is there but only if people don't take the piss with it!

How on earth you managed to work as a TA if you don't do rules is beyond me. TAS are there in part to help the school day go smoothly, by doing things like encouraging children to line up/walk in school/not hit each other/take turns/do their work. Of course, it must have been tricky, letting them all be first, or go anywhere they want at any time, because they're not robots...

So the flexibility is there but only if people don't take the piss with it!

That's fine. My point is just that I won't ignore DSs needs due to policy.

Keep I worked primarily with SN kids and help with their reading, there's a lot of flexibility where I personally worked. It was a great school!

Put staying all day would be taking the piss and in very few cases would it actually help the child!

After the first few weeks in most children staying more than the few minutes to settle them/pass to staff would be taking the piss - unless it is a school which opens early to allow a more gradual start to the day.

Flexibility is there but schools will be keen to ensure that it is used in a way which isn't detrimental to other pupils otherwise it creates more problems than it solves.

Allowing a parent to stay for a little while with a child who is unsettled is being flexible. Staying all day is not being flexible, it's disruptive, unnesssary and selfish.

It's not necessarily disruptive depending on how it's done

I can't see any way a parent hanging around in class could be anything but disruptive!

We cannot allow random adults to remain in a classroom potentially all day. It is a safeguarding issue.

As ridiculous as I think that is, if the parent is DBS checked it is not.

Sirzy if the parent is just helping their child I don't see how that's disruptive. Loads of SN children have TAs with them. How is someone having a parent with them any different?

The school would then need to DBS check every parent, at a cost.

I would think it could have the potential to be upsetting to other children. Surely many of them who had been previously settled would want their parents to stay too.

Anyway, it's an irrelevant discussion, as I can't believe it would be allowed, for all the reasons given above .

Are you seriously trying to compare a 1-1 Ta to a parent hovering around in the classroom all day?

If the parent is happy to pay the cost that's fine.

Budgie and so you explain to them that different people have different needs. I've never thought the "but if I do it for you I have to do it for others" excuse washes.

Stop using "hovering". If a parent was needed they would be helping their child the way a TA would help the child. It's not like they'd be nervously skating around on edge