to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

[firefly78]

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

Threads like this remind me why I gave up being a first school TA and it most certainly wasn't to go with the children.

Sirzy I agree and I'm not one for being overprotective. But I do think children do things when they're ready, and having some arbitrary age when they're supposed to is bullshit.

Some kids talk before others, some toilet train earlier, some need their mums for longer.

Kids manage to go to nursery from months old and cope, I don't think any child without additional needs NEEDS their mum at school all day, or even for a chunk of the day. Too often it's about the needs of the parent not the child,

Sirzy if DS wants me, I'm not going to say "it's okay DS someone else can comfort you". If he wants to go in by himself that's also fine

I'm not prepared to not listen to my child's needs because of some damned policy though.

But tali schools are doing what is needed to make the transition work for all pupils, not just your precious snowflake child. The policies are in place for a reason, not to piss parents off but because it is what works to make life easier for th children.

If a child is struggling to settle then the parents should work with the school to plan what is needed to help, but in most cases that isn't needed and the will settle if given the chance to

Sirzy like I said they're all different.

Sirzy I'm not prepared to have DS upset because it makes it easier for other children.

This reminds me why I'll be very selective about picking a school!

Great s school can have 29 other distressed children because their mummies have gone home as they are sensible but as long as your child is fine sod everyone else!

I am sure most schools will be pleased if you dont pick them with your attitude towards their ability to look after children!

Agreed, Sirzy, most children don't need the parent there for ages. But some parents need to be there and want to be needed. Because that's what makes them a loving parent.

I sometimes wonder if some parents feed off their kid's distress. "Mum I'm fine, you can go" "Are you sure you're ok darling? This is a really tricky coat. Don't worry, it'll only be 6 hours. Do get out the special hanky if you get upset" "Waaaaaaah"

This reminds me why I'll be very selective about picking a school!

Wow, good luck finding one that lets you stay all day ! I understand that you want to protect your child, and comfort them, but this just isn't practical, and I can't think of a situation where this would be the best thing for a child that doesn't have additional needs.

Mmmm.

With that attitude you might find school gets rid of you.

Unfortunately policies at school are in place for parents to accept and you are required to sign to say you will support them.

I have been a parent for 26 years and worked in child care settings for years and not one I know would allow a parent to stay all day with a 4 year old unless for special needs.

I think you may be better home educating.

Also, revisit after a term where busybody parent keeps the teacher for 15 minutes every day complaining about procedures at lunch, tiger parent whinges about the lack of homework at the door in the morning whilst curious parent tries to sneak a peak in the book bags to see the book bands of other kids. Two parents who are also neighbours argue about prams and a three year old sibling tries to empty the class fish tank.

Hilarious reni and scarily true to life.

DD1 had just started reception, she is one of the younger ones.

We were initially strongly encouraged to come in and settle them at an activity, frankly it was HELL. I had a huge bump (+ now newborn DS) plus 2 yr old DD2. Every day started with my 4 yr old happily not giving me a second glass and my 2 yr old having a tantrum as she was desperate to stay and play.

Most patevts are still going in, it is encouraged all year. I am kissing her at the door and sending her in after I had a word with the TA.

Probably coincidence but I have seen ONE child in tears on one occasion so the system of letting parents decide seems to be working here

At my kids school, parents are welcomed into school and it gives a lovely sense of community. I do not think a teacher should be allowed to dictate to you or speak to you child like that. Four is very young and IMO still a baby (just not in the truest sense of the word)
As the years go on, paretns are getting leass and less time with their children

I'm not prepared to have DS upset because it makes it easier for other children.

You might find it's more like the school not willing to upset 29 children to make it easier for your DS.

I have a 4 yr old summer born old DS in reception and after 2 weeks parents were told not to come into the classroom and to leave them at the door. He barely remembers to wave bye bye.

I have seen reception kids get knocked over like skittles by crouching parents doing zips and giving extra goodbyes. Every morning my dd has to skirt past the arses of parents lingering at the doors and she's year one now.

It's so selfish to make a small child upset and anxious just to avoid having your own child slightly put out in the playground rather than the classroom. The comment above (Tali?) beggars belief.

Welcoming into school is a bit different from tolerating a parent who wants to stay all day.

As someone who had a child the same age as the poor children shot in the Dumblane tragedy I am devoutly glad that child care settings are now secure and locked during the working day. They never used to be.

Random needy parents hanging around school premises after the bell rings fills me with dread to be honest.

i will update you all tomorrow! i also have parents evening tomorrow. his teacher is pg with her first. i do wonder if she might have a slightly kinder attitude if she already had children. its strange cos its such a small, relaxed and friendly school.

My eldest is in year 1, shes 5.5 and I would LOVE to take her into her classroom each day but its just not practical. The corridors are already too busy and she is perfectly capable of going alone. I'd stay there all day with her if I could! From the second term of nursery it has been like this so just before she was.
I must admit though, I still linger outside the doors until after she is out of sight :(

Tali You are going to have one helluva shock when you start selecting schools.

I think you're being very unfair to Tali. Sirzy why does it bother you so much that Tali is a loving mother?!

I don't think other kids get upset cos a few have their mums hanging around. That doesn't make any sense!

I wouldn't worry anyway Tali. Just keep calm and take one day at a time. But don't any shit off the teachers. He's your child and you know him best!

*take any shit...