to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

[firefly78]

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

My child started at 4yrs 10m.
He'd had 1 year of school nursery (mornings) and was not ready for full time school. We were told 'no choice'.
Ended up repeating P1.

delta our school is like a prison. to get in you have to ring the intercom thats on the street. that takes you to the office door. you then have to press buzzer to get in. your then in school office. if you have some sort of appointment. or kids show type thing. you are then taken to where you need to be by a member of staff. and all the corridors have doors at the ends that are all fobbed.

the only parents who area allowed to cross the play ground are nursery parents. and then you are taken by a member of staff. but thats only because the play ground is empty. the main school starts 8.50 and nursery 9am.

it seems to work though. when i was first a parent at the school it was the oppisit. parents were allowed in the play ground in the mornings. was easyer to get into the school. its much better this way. its not such a madness.

I understand how you feel OP. The teacher doesn't sound great at all. Sitting on her arse instead of greeting the little ones and bringing them in! My DD is in YR, it is hard as she is clingy as hell. Unless she is physically taken from me she will just run out of the door after me. It drives me up the wall tbh but it also makes me feel bad, I know she is absolutely fine as soon as I've left though most of the time, although I have been told she asks for me a lot during the day and tries to hang around the adults - teacher/TA/student. Just before half term we were told we had to leave them in the playground and they have to line up and we weren't even allowed to walk up the path (and this is the way I have to walk to get back out and go home so quite annoying). She will go with the prefect but it means I have to shove her to the front. If the prefect isn't there I have to walk up the path but refuse to hold her hand then the teacher comes and takes her.

It's hard as they are only 4 and so little but mine does it with everything she does, all through nursery, swimming, karate and I don't see it changing anytime soon. My eldest is the complete opposite and always skipped off happily so this is new to me.

Wow, our school lets you take your child to their classroom for as long as you/they want to. Most parents stop when child is in Y3 (or when a younger sibling starts).

My DD started reception in sept at 4.5 and was more than ready. Some of the kids in her class still aren't. It is still very much play based learning at this age.

At her school the reception playground is fenced off. Some go in to this bit, some don't. My issue is that the area just inside doorway is about 4 metre square, teacher only opens one door so she can control kids from going back out, and yet other parents insist on blocking doorway with buggies and clingy children and pestering teacher. The children who are fine going in by themselves then have to stand there waiting and then start getting upset themselves. These parents should imo hang back and let the others in first to stop causing the chain reaction. All children will get upset at some point. Yes they will need comforting but some parents fuss far too much.

Oh and age 7 starting education would be great if all parents and children were equal. But in many deprived areas were the kids start with no language/social skills, behaviour issues or basics like having access to books or parents who would bother to teach them to read/write etc themselves. By age 7 it is often too late to catch up enough.

In our school the parents went nuts because the new Head wanted parents to take the Reception/Y1 kids into the school!

I think it can be very hard on some four year olds. I suppose this comes back to the old chestnut about age of school entry. My nieces and nephews are in Ireland and some are nearly six starting - there's very little of these concerns then.

Dds school has you take reception in.

where's yea it's nice to see the teacher and I appreciate the openess I don't agree with it. but then it's two form entry so 60 lots of parents and pushchairs arse height to 60 4 and 5 year olds. the classroom is their place and it's invaded daily I can't imagine how daunting that must be to anyone who's not there the second the doors open and it's quieter.

Ijustwannadance, I guess the answer to this is longer nursery education though isn't it, not such an early start to compulsory education?

I still take my 4 year old in, watch him get his coat off, help him by holding his bag whilst he does this etc, then quick kiss and am off. He's 4. Yes he can do this all alone but I think it's just a nice thing to do to help them so they don't start the day all flustered. All the parents do and are allowed in our school right up until they leave. 99% of parents come in and do this.

I also think 4 is far too early for school. Yes he can read and write and count already but he did that at home the last year, and could easily continue at home another 2 years imo.

Dh is 32. I'm 30. If we were with each other one of us would still help each other and say goodbye now. It's being kind not babyish.

That teacher sounds like a cow. I would just ignore her and keep accompanying your son in. Sometimes teachers seem like they just want to make it easier for themselves.

If she comments again, I'd say I'll take it up with the HT.

I think YABU, but that doesn't mean I don't sympathise in every way!

art

what would you do if your child became upset that they couldn't get to their friend or had to push past parents etc

I understand the reasons for.

however it's equally likely kids are distressed by parebts pushing the routine out by hogging teachers and the stragglers interrupting classes and parebts in the way of the loos etc

Oh CF that is so sad that she asks for you during the day! I don't think I could leave my DD if she was like that. I'd have Home Edded.

Do you think she has an anxiety problem?

fusionconfusion it's just about getting them into the rountine of being in school. And the individual children. For some, play based learning works better but by 6 or 7 others will be bored and need more structure. I don't have an answer but I don't think any child should be forced to attend school when not ready. It affects not just them but the other kids too.

Giles - that wouldn't happen here. They have 18 children in the class. (X3 classes) Each class has its own cloakroom area with benches under peg at one side of the room so away from main classroom area. The school drop off is also between 8.40-9.10am, so there's 30 mins for parents to gradually bring them in so usually only 2-3 parents/ children in room at once anyway as all arrive differently.

ijustwannadance If children were to stay at nursery/preschool til 6/7 I'm sure the curriculum would be adjusted and that the more advanced children would be sufficiently stimulated. They're not just going to do jigsaws for another 2 years!

Yeh thats fine as long as they were actually at school. But the impession I was getting is that some would prefer no school at all until 7 and thats where the problems would lie. It wouldn't take much at all to have year 1 as another reception type year.

I agree Ijustwannadance, though I appreciate it is a bit thorny. In Ireland they will accept children from 4 through to 6 but in practice this means lots of middle class kids are entering at nearly 6 and disadvantaged kids at 4, but in the same class - meaning there is potentially a huge maturity gap adding to the disadvantage. That doesn't sound too sensible either.

I think they're introducing a second year of free preschool to try and make it so everyone enters at much the same time (after 5).

Our infant school has doors outside from all Reception and Year 1 classrooms. This is incredibly useful and mitigates this problem.

YANBU - 4 is so young (and I agree with other posters questioning about them going to school at this age anyway)

Its interesting that people are saying both that:

a) given a choice it is the middle class kids that start later.
b) starting later implies a disadvantage over kids that have been in school already.

Can people see how that is basically a total contradiction?

Starting later is an advantage - that's why the people who can afford it don't send their kids to school at the first opportunity.

Hence it would be to the advantage of children to start school later. Obviously it isn't to the advantage of all sorts of other people from parents to the government - but it would advantage the children themselves.

At ds school 40 reception and 20 year 1 children use the same entrance to school. Parents are discouraged from going in past the first few weeks. The teachers are all at the door to deal with any problems/questions but parents going in doesn't only make it crowded it makes it dangerous, especially when people take prams and other children in too.

It also makes it very difficult for some children to go in, ds struggles enough with the crowds at the door when just children without adding a load of parents into the mix.

Every school will be different but in a lot logistically it just isn't possible and doesn't really help anyone in the long term.

Also it doesn't take years to learn to read. It takes an amount of time that varies VERY strongly with the age and ability of the child.

It might take a month aged 7. It takes years aged 3.

So the idea that starting later implies a delay that can't be caught up is bollocks.

It is the same as learning to walk really. Takes a few days for 1.5 yo. takes 6 months if you start training a kid from age 6 months.

Of course no one would do that, would they? Start trying to teach their kid to walk before they had the development level required....

Somehow people think it is appropriate to teach reading at a specific age rather than waiting for children to be ready for it....

fusion that sounds awful. Must be hard for the kids and teachers. Would be like sending 9 year old to secondary school. The 2 years preschool in those cases sounds a much better option.

Mine are older teenagers now. I had no problem with them going into school on their own in the line when they were four and I reception.

The had to take in with them: Book bag, water, pe kit if required, wellies if required, packed lunch. No space in school for things to be left. Rucksacks banned due to
lack of space.

I had an issue with that. An even bigger issue with being told off when I slipped in early to hang up dd's,PE bag and pop her water and lunch in the boxes in the cloakroom. When I suggested the boxes could be brought to the playground to help 4 year olds I was told "and who do you expect to carry the boxes in and out".

I still don't think that was a helpful way to introduce children to school. Many if the children struggled and dropped stuff and it was a horrid start to their day. It didn't make me feel children's needs were at the heart of education. It did make me feel the reception teacher and her TA were a pair of meanies and jobsworths,to boot.

I could understand if it was a big school with lots of people coming and going but it sounds a bit unnecessary with a class of just 16.

When DS was in reception parents had to take their DC in, and we were even welcome to stay for a while if we wanted. This was in a class of 25. Sadly I always had to rush off to work but I did hover a couple of times to see him settled.

The only time we were ever shooed out was when they were changing for swimming, a load of us parents started automatically helping them with buttons, folding their clothes etc and the teacher told us off, saying the children were perfectly capable of doing it themselves.