to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

[firefly78]

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

but on the whole I'm into a relaxed style with many things, parenting is just one of those

Lol, I think most parents are, until their newborn turns into a toddler And then you'll be the parent who everyone is looking at as your child runs into the road because they don't want to hold your hand and instead of just telling the child they have to do it, you want 'open a discussion' with them on the rights and wrongs of handholding.

Sirzy I understand that, I have horrid memories of a doctor holding me down when I was a kid which is why I'm adamant I will do anything but for DS! Older kids that understand it's unpleasant but not why they need it doing are harder than babies, but I do think in most cases there's other ways that don't involve freaking out the child or upsetting them.

So some music worked and you suddenly think. it's possible for procedures and medication to be given without a fuss.

you do what needs to be done. whether that being playing music or watching nurses pin your child down and shoving masks on their face or sitting on a screaming toddler.

there isn't always time to talk or distract or piss about with dora the explorer.
Kids aren't stupid and what works one day won't work another.

Tali unless you have been there then please stop judging, you are now coming across as rude. We get you don't like it but you haven't been there nobody likes doing it but people do what is needed to keep their child safe and alive.

There aren't other ways.

Sirzy I'm not judging, just saying I wouldn't do it for DS. I've said that everyone has different parenting styles and all kids are different.

I don't agree with "there are no ways other than x" though. People do what works for them

Tali hasn't been there yet.

But OP has and her ds wants some more mummy time than school will allow. That might seem stressful and almost insurmountable right now, but will probably be fine in a couple of weeks. Maybe the teachers will agree at the parents evening that OP's child really does have difficulties settling (I've seen all manner of sticker charts and child helpers to resolve this) and I hope they will find a way.

you can't say you wouldn't do it though.

you just can't.

and sometimes there is no other way.

as I said, it cab take weeks or longer to accustom a child to things. they get scared.

Dd was a bright toddler. but she couldn't make the link between wheezing and feeling shit and an inhaler making her feeling better.

If your child will die if they don't get medication then their is no other choice. You do what is needed.

You have described parents who disagree with you as cold hearted and bullies yet are still denying being judgemental?

anyhoo back to me!!!!

Sirzy I was referring to "do it because I say so" as an approach which I do think is bullying.

And "cold hearted" was buggering off when your child is crying.

I don't think either apply to what you did. I think you did what you had to do at the time, desperate people do things they wouldn't otherwise want to do.

Do it because I say so isn't bullying, it's being a parent. You can't always negotiate with a child, sometimes something needs doing whether they like it or not.

Leaving your child with someone who is more than capable of caring for them isn't cold hearted and when it comes to school drop off is most likely in the child's best interest to realise that Mrs x is lovely and will do nice thugs etc

dum de dum

If you only have a baby, it is rather presumptuous to make any form of judgement or decision on the parenting of older children...let alone 2 or more! Babies are easy! Their basic needs are just that, basic. Cuddles, warmth, food, removal of waste products. Being a parent of one small child were my halcyon days.

Well, you can't say your thread hasn't aroused interest, Firefly.

i know!!!!

Wait til your husband leaves you with two under two and you have to work two jobs to pay the rent.

Suddenly "because I say so" becomes the parenting mantra du jour....

I haven't read the thread.

I am a TA in Reception.

I am fucking knackered.

All my Parents bring their child into the class , sort them out book wise, lunch card coat on peg then leave.

No child ever comes in alone, ever.

Do it because I say so isn't bullying, it's being a parent.

That is where we fundamentally disagree. Which you know is fine, we're all different. Neither of us are "wrong".

I actually think on this one you are at best unrealistic!

But I had gotten back to you, op, about an hour ago. But you volunteered no news, so we entertained ourself

I got back to you op . I summarised so everyone else could carry on arguing

I've had these opinions for many years I don't think they'll change! Obviously some things do and act child is different but on the whole I'm into a relaxed style with many things, parenting is just one of those

I'm a pretty relaxed parent Tali, and I have a relaxed chill kid to show for it.

But there are some things that are non-negotiable. Diaper changes, bedtime, seatbelts, and teeth brushing are a few. I am happy to make them fun and turn them into a game. But at the end of the day, it's getting done whether she wants to do it the fun way or not.

You will learn that toddlers do not reason or negotiate. They scream their damn heads off until they learn it won't get them anywhere.

Mine just shouted "NO!" and threw her favorite cheese snack in the trash because she wanted an apple instead, even though I just explained she did not need two apples in the span of an afternoon.

That is the extent of her reasoning. She doesn't want to do it because she doesn't want to.

She's not getting another apple because it will give her diarrhea. She's been told she's getting no snack because she threw it away. Her brain is not developed enough to understand "why" yet, she's only able to understand not to do something "because mommy says so", and that's how it will be for a couple more years until her brain is developed enough to understand wider consequences for her actions.

thanks reni2 and HSMMaCM.
the turn my thread's taken has amused me!!

It's that Tali, OP. Some MNrs just like to hog the limelight, tsk tsk.

It's that Tali, OP. Some MNrs just like to hog the limelight, tsk tsk.

Well, you can't blame her for being idealistic. I thought I'd be coloring nicely with my toddler while teaching her colors as her intelligent little brain soaked it all in while using each crayon gently and reciting each color as she picked one up.

Instead she shoves the crayons up her nose, shrieks happily, and runs in circles around the coffee table.