to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

[firefly78]

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

I'd personally explain the reasons why, and use old fashioned bribery. But I know just as many people have a problem with that.

Perhaps you think letting them cannulate my son was "tough love"? That's not what I would have thought it was

Ha Ye coz that would work with a toddler who is pushing away everything! Do you not think that wasn't tried first?

Senpai you missed my point my point is if I mollycoddled I wouldn't put DS in his own room he'd stay in mine

I don't think you understand what mollycoddling is. It's indulging children when they shouldn't be indulged.

So keeping him or not keeping him in your room at that age is merely a parental choice. He was 7 weeks. Keeping him in your room wouldn't be mollycoddling either and we both know if he wasn't adjusting he'd be right back in there so let's not pretend here.

Reinforcing your 4 year old's anxiety about school is hindering them, not helping them. Therefore that would be mollycoddling.

Tough love is telling a child too bad, we have to do it. Do you let your child choose whether he wears a seat belt? What about immunizations or seeing the dentist? No? What if he didn't want to? You'd probably make him. Because you are the parent.

You show your child tough love, you're just in disagreement with what warrants it and what doesn't.

If it didn't work for you, fine. I'm not saying what you did was wrong. Just that I wouldn't use a tough love approach

Come back when you child is actually old enough to be able to start to fight back and need such an approach and then start proclaiming how wrong it is!

If your child could potentially die by you not forcing them to have medication are you really saying you wouldn't use tough love?

Or even on a more minor scenario if they said they didn't want to wear a seat belt would you let them?

Senpai

No, mollycoddling is being overprotective.

I would never say too bad we have to. I would explain the reason why, and even if he had to, I would discuss it with him. That's not tough love.

I don't think explaining it, discussing it with them and then bribing them slightly it tough love Sirzy.

If they really didn't want to I wouldn't use the car until they were comfortable with it. I walk everywhere anyway -shrug-

Even if he had to, I would discuss it with him

But you'd still make him, you wouldn't leave the decision ultimately with him. That's what tough love is. It's making them do something they don't want because you care. It's not being momzilla holding them down and showing a pill in their throat with no explanation besides "I said so".

And you say you don't mollycoddle!

No tough love is having to pin a child down while a nurse administers the medication because it is the only option.

But what if he still said no? What if he didn't listen to reason and just didn't want to have the medicine?

If they really didn't want to I wouldn't use the car until they were comfortable with it.

Really?

How old is your child? I get the sneaking suspicion he is not yet mobile and talking.

So he says he doesn't want to go into the shops when you have no food in the house you just say "ok" and go home if your talking doesn't work?

He doesn't want to go to school? That's fine

Good luck as he gets older and heaven help you if you have more than one child and both want different things!

You can't not use a car because your child doesn't want to!

This can't be real

if they really didn't want to I wouldn't use the car until they were comfortable with it

I think you really need to consider home education Tali. They have to wear seat belts on school trips you know.

"No, I don't want to eat this. I want to eat sweeties all day every day and I want a cigarette!" - "OK, if that's your choice."

I doubt it!

I want a cigarette

I think you should screen cap this, so you can look back and have a chuckle in a few years.

"But mummy all the other 7 year olds are playing grand theft auto" "well then you can have it too"

Mummy, I want to drive!

With my 5 year old she started late as there were no places, so she never got to do half days, and I wasn't allowed into the classroom. She was upset but not crying. I would have liked to see the classroom and meet the teacher. ive not met the teacher yet, husband always does drop offs pick ups.

Also its not too much for teachers to say hello is it? Even at the end of a school day when my husband says hello, he has said they often show no attentiveness carry on doing what theyre at, that's just rude? It's a far cry from our other school I wish I could go back there .

Nanny0gg that's how the last school my kids had in Scotland was, it was really lovely and the teachers so friendly and giving, id always see the teachers outside lining up the kids for their class. In the current school teachers don't come out so I wont be leaving my 5 year old unattended in the playground no tas there either in morning, but plenty of parents and guardians who are strangers, and school gate open to a country lane I don't think its safe.

" I want to run round this busy restaurant screaming my head off"

"Then of course you must"

I think that's the point Kat some teachers aren't very nice and that's the crux. I'm very lucky with our school, the teachers are lovely and there's an app where you get reports, see if they've earned any stars etc.

Hello is the least they should be saying. Parents may be discouraged from going into the building in mornings but the staff are always available to talk and help and if they can't help at that point they will make an appointment to see you as soon as possible.

If they were being rude or even offish I would probably feel differently about my drop and run approach...I'm not actually cold hearted!

The fact his teacher is so lovely as was his reception teacher, means I trust them. They say to leave at the gate, and I do what they say! Look, like I said, he's 6 now and loves it so they must be doing something right. I had to keep him off school a couple of weeks ago and he was crying at not going in! I didn't think they'd have appreciated a vomiting child.

Then that's not tough love. Tough love is laying the law down without talking to your child or considering their feelings.