Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if my 4 year old wants me to take him to his classroom that shouldnt be a problem?

624 replies

firefly78 · 18/11/2015 09:06

he's 4 for goodness sake. he loves school and if he wants me to take him to his classroom door rather than go all the way in on his own i dont see why that's an issue. Teacher shouted over to him today saying "come on ds otherwise mummy will have to leave you at the gate". Its irrationally upset me. silly I know but i think they are still so little. Hes coped brilliantly with school, loves reading etc and we have just had a great report. he has an older sibling at school who runs in happily. Oh amd im most definitely not the only parent who does this. He ran in happily before half term cos they got a sticker but dont know so he doesn't see the point! i just think they are still little and i dont know why school tries to make them grow up so fast!!!

OP posts:
TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 16:46

Sirzy opinions can change but this is something I've always believed in. I don't think pushing kids is right (for me! Not saying others are wrong).

I realise I sound very crunchy haha, I'm not I just think on this issue it's better to follow the kids

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 16:47

witsender that sounds like an ideal school

NKFell · 18/11/2015 16:48

I'm happy that our Primary School is fairly strict, I think they're caring too.

They do a line up in classes with the teacher at the front and no parents are allowed past the gates. At first, no of course he wasn't keen and even had a few tears but with a gentle push he was fine and now DS is 6 and loves school- in fact he runs in!

Sirzy · 18/11/2015 16:48

10 minutes when space etc allow it is one thing. Getting into lesson time and beyond is another!

NKFell · 18/11/2015 16:49

*As in a line of Reception class, a line of Yr 1 etc. all in the playground.

NKFell · 18/11/2015 16:50

Also, I wouldn't be happy with parents staying for 10 mins in my children's classes!

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 16:52

Why is that out of interest NK

budgiegirl · 18/11/2015 16:53

Personally I stay until my daughter is settled, sometimes 2 mins and sometimes 10.

And that's fine, but would you be allowed to stay an hour, or 2 hours, or all day? Somehow I doubt it.

Senpai · 18/11/2015 16:54

Giving kids a swift kick out of the nest is harder on the parents than it is them. He's in school and is now expected to come to class on time. You need to support the school on this so that he's confident in his independence.

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 16:55

I feel kids are confident in their independence when they choose to do it themselves rather than pushing.

Going on my own experiences the more I was pushed the more I dug my heels in. When I was left to grow at my own rate it was much better

wickedlazy · 18/11/2015 16:57

Not allowed here at all. They line up outside, and go in themselves/follow tearcher. Classroom assistant helps them take coats and scarves off. If you're a tiny bit late and children are still taking coats off, you can open the door to let them in, but can't go in yourself. Everyone sticks to it, the children all seem to be used to it now.

wickedlazy · 18/11/2015 16:57

*teacher

honkinghaddock · 18/11/2015 16:58

Many children with sn don't want random adults (as my son would see it) hanging around the classroom when they arrive at school.
He now goes to special school and has an hour in the taxi without me. He is developmentally a toddler so if he can manage that, I am sure a 4 year old without sn, can start the day in their classroom without a parent.

NKFell · 18/11/2015 16:59

I think it's too fussy and for example I wouldn't be there so if DS was in there and there were all other Mum's I think he'd end up missing me!

When DS first started he had a few tears leaving me, I took the view of he'll see me later, he'll enjoy it and he'll make friends. The teacher told me he stopped crying before they'd even gone inside.

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 17:02

That's where we have different views NK. Just because you think it's too fussy for your child doesn't mean you should moan at people doing it for theirs.

As I said I don't like the cry it out view and won't be doing it with DS

Pancakeflipper · 18/11/2015 17:05

Our school used to allow parents in for the reception year and year 1 but they worked out getting rid of the parents was hard work. They stopped this and children went in alone. Children were calmer, more than capable of sorting out their book bags etc and the class gained 20mins extra teaching time a day.

The little ones who do struggle to leave their parents in a morning do get extra support and those parents can go in them leave quickly though often the TA is there to assist at the door.

It works well for the children. Parents moan a bit. But saves on a rugby scrum through the door each day.

Sirzy · 18/11/2015 17:07

Of course people have a right to complain if it is making life harder for their child!

Cry it out as a baby and "mummy is going now you are with Mrs X and will have lots of fun" are very different things. Chances are by the time you are at the door the child will be so absorbed in what Mrs X has them doing they won't care you have gone! If they do get upset they are with lovely staff who will help them settle and care for them. You may find it hard to believe but early years staff are normally pretty used to dealing with little ones!

wickedlazy · 18/11/2015 17:08

Should have clarrified you can open the external door to hallway cloakroom is in but aren't allowed to go in the building. If you need to speak to office ladies or arrange a meeting with teacher etc you go through reception entrance.

NKFell · 18/11/2015 17:08

I wouldn't be happy with other parents interfering with my own child's education and that's my view. The dynamic of a classroom will change when there are parents in there. It comes down to choosing the school that's right for your children, I'm happy with DS's and will hopefully be sending my other 2 there.

Hersetta427 · 18/11/2015 17:08

Will you truly be asking schools when you visit if you will be allowed to stay all day if your DS doesn't want you to leave. If so, I can guarantee you won't like their answer. To be honest, it is an utterly ridiculous notion.

budgiegirl · 18/11/2015 17:09

As I said I don't like the cry it out view and won't be doing it with DS

But it's not really crying it out, is it? You're not leaving him on his own to cry. He's with other caring adults and lots of children to play with. Most reception teachers/TAs are very caring, and are used to helping to comfort upset children. It's just that it's not you that's doing the comforting. I think it says more about your needs than his.

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 17:09

Sirzy if they are ready for it they won't get upset. To me it's no different to cry it out, and it's not something I would want to do.

For me flexischooling would be ideal

wickedlazy · 18/11/2015 17:10

In Northern Ireland, here reception means the main entrance, year below p1 is nursery. To clarify again.

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 17:11

budgie it's not that, it's that he clearly isn't ready in my view. It's nothing to do with my needs. I don't believe in pushing kids when they're not comfortable or ready.

NKFell · 18/11/2015 17:11

When he was a newborn and he cried, I picked him up- he didn't cry it out.

At school I used to say "listen to me, you'll see me later, your friends are there and Miss X will look after you. You can tell me all the exciting things you've done when I pick you up." He was fine and now I have to shout him back for a kiss!

Swipe left for the next trending thread