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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Star Wars vs c-section

238 replies

Starwarsorbaby · 14/11/2015 12:37

Have nc for this, as dh will want to see results!

Mumsnet jury is needed....

Just got the letter through for my c-section - 17th December. DH wants to see the midnight showing of the new Star Wars movie at midnight, 16th/17th December. I have to go in at 7.30am on the 17th.

AIBU to not really want him to go? I think I'm going to be nervous and want him at home, and we're going to be pretty busy after baby gets here/in hospital all day etc; I think he needs his rest. (we already have young ds1) He is a massive Star Wars fan and is excited about the movie. He's very good at home, massive support and brilliant dad/dh. I (and ds) will, hopefully, be in bed, asleep.

AIBU?

OP posts:

RJnomaaaaaargh · 15/11/2015 14:03

It absolutely is a non issue. If she had said I know I will be up worried sick then fine. But she's expecting to be asleep.

He is doing nothing wrong. This is a planned c section, while nothing is ever guaranteed it's relatively low risk. He wants to do something that matters to him at a time that hasn't impact on anyone else and half the posters on here are fucking ridiculous.

The posts about taxis for a start! There's no suggestion op will have to use a taxi but there are thousands of people who don't drive and HAVE to - it's hardly Dickensian deprivation.

Massive grips needs by all sort of people - and I don't include the op in that actually.

FabergeEggs · 15/11/2015 14:05

Let him go!

RJnomaaaaaargh · 15/11/2015 14:05

Oh and her mothers staying so she could quite easily go if she wanted to.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/11/2015 14:07

again, it's merely a case of why add extra unnecessary aspects to worry about.

not about stuff that can't he helped.

to me a taxi is an extra thing to worry about. having been left standing around fir 40+ mins for ones that haven't showed up or struggled to even get one at all.

I would not feel safe to drive on the amount of sleep the dp is looking at getting.

if that's your only mode of transport then fair enough. but it isn't is it.

SoupDragon · 15/11/2015 14:09

I think a few die hard fans got in early and set the tone

I couldn't give a shit about Star Wars.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 15/11/2015 14:13

Coming to stay to support your daughter is not an automatic invitation to babysit. My mum would do one but sure as hell not the other the night before she was presumably looking after her grandchild. You can't assume going is an option (even if the OP wanted to ).

I am continually surprised on MN how often people suggest posters are needy or making a big deal for wanting some support from their partner. It makes me very glad I have my DH (and he has me). Both of us, the night before surgery, would be focused on each other. Missing out on some special event - well unfortunate timing but not the end of the world

SoupDragon · 15/11/2015 14:14

I can't believe people are still arguing this when the OP has made a decision and is clearly fine with it.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/11/2015 14:17

exactly libraries

my train of thought would be to ensure dp could rest as much as possible.

that I was around to deal with any night waking.

that I would sort the kids in the morning and the night before. and I'd probably even batch cool sone food so it was all a not easier fir the next few days.

I'd also want to ensure I was fit to drive him.to the hospital so we weren't waiting on a taxi which may or may not be late or have the driver who doesn't know where they are going etc.

but clearly that's just me.

JacobFryesTopHatLackey · 15/11/2015 14:17

I agree soup. Isn't this all irrelevant now that the op has made her decision and is happy with it?

Sallystyle · 15/11/2015 14:24

I had to do a 12 hour shift after an hours sleep because I had insomnia.

I managed just fine. I was tired of course but I did fall asleep when talking to people, probably because it was a one off and it was not like sleep deprivation where you haven't slept well for weeks.

OP will presumably be asleep when he is gone? She gets to go to sleep and wake up with her husband for her C-section. A grown man is capable of functioning on one night of shits sleep.

With my first birth we were in hospital for three days. My husband at the time got about 2 hours sleep and again, he managed just fine to function when I needed him. Adrenaline kicks in and you manage.

BTW I am not a Star Wars fan in the slightest.

Sallystyle · 15/11/2015 14:25

didn't fall asleep when talking to people! Not did, obviously.

Original poster

Starwarsorbaby · 15/11/2015 15:16

Op here. I'll try and reply to some replies, those I can remember!

I am, strangely, ok with him going. I know how much it means to him and how happy it's going to make him. Not as happy as the birth of his dd, but talk about double whammy!

I did have my doubts, but I found out my mum is staying, so that definitely made me feel better.

He is quite capable of functioning on that little sleep. As others have said, he didn't get much sleep when I had an emcs with ds! I trust him to drive the 10 minutes to hospital. Cinema is also 10 minute drive, if that.

We have decided to choose a Star Wars-esque middle name! Probably Cordé.

I am not a Star Wars fan in the slightest, so have no interest in going along, and I'd rather be in bed!

I will try and come back after and let you all know what happened.

Thanks for all the well wishes!

OP posts:

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 15/11/2015 15:57

Hope it all goes well OP.

Fluffy24 · 15/11/2015 15:58

Good luck OP

poco2015 · 15/11/2015 17:21

DH made me laugh, he doesnt see a problem with is as its not like real labour where he would really have a role. However he ended it with "but I wouldnt have that problem because I'm not allowed to go to the cinema without your permission." Tee hee hee. As a hater of star wars but married to a lover of star wars I would say let him go still, there will be loads of sitting around and time for him to power nap.

RJnomaaaaaargh · 15/11/2015 17:27

Op, you are a sensible and gracious woman.

I hope it all goes very smoothly and you have a lovely Christmas with your new baby.

Bing0wings · 15/11/2015 18:12

I'm married to a massive Star Wars fan with two DC. I don't think your DH should go and see it the night before your csect. He has plenty of time to see the film. You and your operation and his family are much more imporTant. Just asked DH who said 'no' he wouldn't do that ! Star Wars is not going anywhere. Good luck OP

4nnabella · 16/11/2015 16:46

I have just related this thread to my DH, as he is a SW fan. I've said I would probably be happy for him to go if I were in your shoes. He has said he probably wouldn't go!

Sighing · 16/11/2015 16:53

That's great OP. I was hoping it would be a positive. He'd have seen it and had that, it'll be a story the new DC might get tired of one day! But being booked in for a c-section means he can still get you there and catch up on naps with a swift "wake up" for the really important part. The film will be out of the way and you'll both be focused on all of that postbirth - life! B3st wishes.

GingerIvy · 16/11/2015 17:25

I'd have had my mum come to watch the little one and gone with him for one last night out before the baby.

Leahdon · 16/11/2015 17:37

As someone who is a StarWars fan herself (and when Phantom Menace came out on my birthday, dragged ex hubby along to the Midnight screening), and had a C-Section (no, not the same day, that was with current hubby), sending him along is the right answer... especially if you have your Mum with you anyway. I would recommend, though, going the next morning by taxi, even if it is only 10 mins away. That way you don't need to worry about parking fees etc. Good luck xx

Pringlesandwine · 16/11/2015 17:48

Star wars.
Change the date of the c-section

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 16/11/2015 18:30

There is only one day of release. This showing is a one-off event.

I'm sure he'll see the film many, many times. But never again will it be this specific special-event screening. Which you'll only be part of if you're there.

Oh FFS. Are we talking about grown adults here? It's a stupid film not the Berlin wall coming down!

AuntieStella · 16/11/2015 18:34

"It's a stupid film"

Not a Star Wars fan, then

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 16/11/2015 18:38

How can you tell AuntieStella?

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