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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Star Wars vs c-section

238 replies

Starwarsorbaby · 14/11/2015 12:37

Have nc for this, as dh will want to see results!

Mumsnet jury is needed....

Just got the letter through for my c-section - 17th December. DH wants to see the midnight showing of the new Star Wars movie at midnight, 16th/17th December. I have to go in at 7.30am on the 17th.

AIBU to not really want him to go? I think I'm going to be nervous and want him at home, and we're going to be pretty busy after baby gets here/in hospital all day etc; I think he needs his rest. (we already have young ds1) He is a massive Star Wars fan and is excited about the movie. He's very good at home, massive support and brilliant dad/dh. I (and ds) will, hopefully, be in bed, asleep.

AIBU?

OP posts:
GreenPetal94 · 14/11/2015 21:01

I would go with him to star wars. You are going to find it much harder to go to the cinema once baby is born. You only get one C-section eve, make it a good one. And the film will stop you getting nervous. And it'll make a good story for the midwives.

Nohopeformethen · 14/11/2015 21:51

Has he form for not getting up easily? Last thing you'll want with your early start is him wanting ten minutes extra in bed..
I love Star Wars but this would disappoint me greatly.

Nohopeformethen · 14/11/2015 21:52

And the idea that you can nap while sitting (for eight hours in my case) in the hospital waiting room in a plastic chair Hmm

RomComPhooey · 14/11/2015 21:54

Ah well, then you should fear not Thursday - an ELCS is a totally different experience. You aren't all sore from labouring post-operatively for a start. I found I was up and about much more quickly and in better shape overall.

Bea · 14/11/2015 21:55

May the force be with you! Grin

Good on you for coming to an agreement! I love star wars and fear I will cry through the whole film! The trailer gives me goosebumps! (and a little tear!!Blush)

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 14/11/2015 21:57

I am amazed how this thread went! I would be fucking fuming if DH wanted to get home at 3 am on the day of my section!

Helmetbymidnight · 14/11/2015 21:59

I think it's because:
A. It's better than having him slope around, desperate to go out for the next two weeks.
B. it's a story you can tell the kid in years to come. Kid will look at mum with big amazed eyes thinking, 'ah, the force is strong in this one'...

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 14/11/2015 22:02

If DH moped about a film with a new baby I'd be equally ducked off.

I would expect the story to be "oh, it had been out about a month when I saw it"GrinGrin Thankfully DH are well matched in that respect.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2015 22:02

I'm. pretty shocked too tbh.

I've no experience of a c section. however I've had experience of hospitals.

this isn't some long labour or some urgent work business that's resulting on two knackered parents on a situation that just couldn't be helped.

this is a man choosing some dumb film over being at his best for the birth of his baby.

what if there's an.emergency and they postpone the section. she's now home heavily pregnant with a completely useless exhausted husband who instead if being able to let her rest after she was worrying about the operation she has to look after her ds while he no doubt falls asleep Wat him tv or whatever.

why would anyone choose to start off that shattered. the hospital stay alone and new baby with no help is going to render the mum exhausted and the dps probably going to be still feeling the effects if he's had to look after the ds on top.
madness.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 14/11/2015 22:06

On three hours sleep max, he's going to be nodding off in theatre.

Both DH and I have hazy memories of the birth of DD1. Long labour, couldn't be helped. I would be really annoyed if that was deliberate for Hans Solo!

Want2bSupermum · 14/11/2015 22:07

I guess this is your first! With my second DH went to Texas for 3 days when I was 37 weeks pregnant and had an MRI scheduled for the afternoon of my planned CS. I was totally fine. If he can't function off 3 hours of sleep he is going to have to learn quickly. Many many times I and/or DH get that or less. You muddle through and figure it out. No need to be all dramatic.

The one thing he does need to do is have his phone charged and out of his pocket (but silent) so if you call or text he sees it. It's also SOP that DH doesn't drink so much that he can't drive after I get to 39 weeks. I've yet to go into labour naturally. If I had the timeframe would be moved up to say 37 weeks.

Thisismyfirsttime · 14/11/2015 22:10

Make sure he knows he must must must leave his phone on vibrate and where he can feel/ see it! I had an elcs booked as dd was breech and my waters went 2 nights before the date booked (which was 39 weeks bang on) so I'd be more concerned about that as the midwives wanted me in asap. If he's driving there and close by that shouldn't be too much of a problem if your dm is there to see to your ds though. But he'd need to leave his phone on and make sure he had reception for me to feel better.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 14/11/2015 22:11

Want2be - she has said it's their second.

I have three and DH went on a business trip when I was overdue. .I'd still be fucked off with this.

The functioning you do on 3 hours sleep is shit.

Want2bSupermum · 14/11/2015 22:17

Not for me. I get about that every night in jan and feb for work. Home for 3am and up at 6am. I do feel tired but as long as I am drinking enough water and eating right I'm able to handle it.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 14/11/2015 22:19

Well, you are supermumGrin I don't think you are a representative sample!

I ve muddled through enough times to know how badly I function (though I usually suffer from the delusion I was ok).

Want2bSupermum · 14/11/2015 22:31

hahaha! Emphasis is on want to be not that I am. If the DH was the obn performing the CS I would be the first to say it's best to make other plans. As it stands he isn't going to performing the surgery or operating heavy machinery beyond driving the car, which the Op could do if it bothered her.

KatharineClifton · 14/11/2015 22:37

Yep, Star Wars!

Good luck OP.

Nohopeformethen · 14/11/2015 22:58

Supermum I couldn't fit behind the wheel at that stage of pg. not to mention the nerves that would stop me concentrating, the early hour and the lack of food. (As I'd be the one about to have major surgery, not dh) So I'd be buggered if I'd be forced to drive so he could see a movie.
Wouldn't he want to wait and see it with the OP? That can be just as good a story, the first time we went out after you were born was to see Star Wars.

Want2bSupermum · 15/11/2015 04:50

Oh I just tilted the steering wheel!

GladysTheGolem · 15/11/2015 05:12

Star Wars and a new baby in the same day? Best. day. ever.

I'd 'let' him go, providing he doesn't drink, as he wont be able to see it once you've had the surgery and need him.
Plus think of all the 'cool wife' points, MN loves the cool wife Wink

You'll be uncomfortable and asleep or pacing and repacking. It's only a few hours.

Good luck!

GladysTheGolem · 15/11/2015 05:13

Some how missed page two!

Yay!

MidnightVelvetthe4th · 15/11/2015 08:44

Best of luck today OP :)

MidnightVelvetthe4th · 15/11/2015 08:44

Bugger its not today is it, sorry Grin Grin

Geekmama · 15/11/2015 09:34

Star Wars fan here! Let him go! It's better he goes before the birth then after. Just make sure he's got his phone on vibrate. Good luck! And you have to have a Star Wars related name for your new DC Grin

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife · 15/11/2015 10:10

Only on third page of thread but I am surprised so many people would be happy for dh to be out. Before I had my dd1 I said dh could go out with colleagues and I had a miserable night on my own. I was terrified and couldn't sleep and gave dh a terrible bollocking when he came in even though it was not his fault

If you want the father of your baby to be a man at home rather than a fucking child watching a film then he should do it without arguing.