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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Star Wars vs c-section

238 replies

Starwarsorbaby · 14/11/2015 12:37

Have nc for this, as dh will want to see results!

Mumsnet jury is needed....

Just got the letter through for my c-section - 17th December. DH wants to see the midnight showing of the new Star Wars movie at midnight, 16th/17th December. I have to go in at 7.30am on the 17th.

AIBU to not really want him to go? I think I'm going to be nervous and want him at home, and we're going to be pretty busy after baby gets here/in hospital all day etc; I think he needs his rest. (we already have young ds1) He is a massive Star Wars fan and is excited about the movie. He's very good at home, massive support and brilliant dad/dh. I (and ds) will, hopefully, be in bed, asleep.

AIBU?

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 14/11/2015 13:38

Many people don't function well on 4 hours sleep though. And realistically it will probably be far less than that - 12am showing, trailers, adverts, 2hr 16m film, journey home, inevitably being quite awake and hyped up if he's that excited about the film...and then they need to be at the hospital at 7:30 so travel time, need to be up before that etc. You're going to be lucky if he had a couple of hours kip. And it's reasonable for folk to point out that driving whilst tired is dangerous!

specialsubject · 14/11/2015 13:44

driving tired IS dangerous, however superhuman you think you are. But there are things called taxis.

ghostyslovesheep · 14/11/2015 13:44

why do people keep insisting he needs to drive?

I was driving up to 41 weeks (and in labour - without realising)

In labour with number 3 I actually sent DH home - because for 12 hours nothing happened

he came back in the morning - I was fine - he then sat around all day then went home to see our other two - finally I had a section after 24 hours

It's daft to suggest anyone needs to 'bring their A game' to a planned section - it will be 90% dull and boring, 10% birth and then holding baby and sleeping

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2015 13:49

er because there's a choice here. no one surely puts themselves in the position of zero sleep when there's the chance to get a half decent night in.

and why on earth would people faff about in a taxi when there's a perfectly good car that their husband should be capable of driving given he knew all along about the date. you can never be sure what kind of car shows up. of its clean or dirty, if the drivers good or a maniac (all of which I've experienced ) and then if they forget something he's gotta call another one to get home.

why? when you could avoid it by not having a drink and going to bed early enough.

of an emergency happens and they push the section back how's he going to be coping waiting around longer.

he will have 3 nights of her being in hospital to go to see anfilm

StatisticallyChallenged · 14/11/2015 13:50

I couldn't reach the pedals by the time I was full term Grin

Original poster
Starwarsorbaby · 14/11/2015 13:52

Dh will be driving me to hospital, I don't drive. 10 minute journey. He won't be drinking. Now there's more replies I'm a bit unsure, but I already said yes, can't go back on it. He's so excited! Smile

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 14/11/2015 13:56

he will have 3 nights of her being in hospital to go to see anfilm no - he will have their DS

Moln · 14/11/2015 13:56

Has he got a ticket?

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2015 13:57

Doesn't the baby stay with them mum. then.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2015 13:58

my bad missed the other one.

but he cab get a babysitter fir the other kid

Original poster
Starwarsorbaby · 14/11/2015 13:59

Oh Yeh, meant to say he is able to get a ticket. Not so many geeks in our town I guess! And I would hope he'd take care of ds when I'm recovering!

OP posts:
GiraffesAndButterflies · 14/11/2015 13:59

I would let him go but then NO complaints about being tired etc the next day. No matter what.

Even a planned c section can (so I hear) involve lots of boring waiting around, so he might well get the chance to nap on the day anyway. And if not, he'll live.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2015 14:00

hard to do if he's been up all night watching films.... and up all day with you in hospital.

would you want him.driving your ds after that length of time?

SoupDragon · 14/11/2015 14:15

would you want him.driving your ds after that length of time?

Clearly no mother of a baby should drive ever

villainousbroodmare · 14/11/2015 14:16

I's say let him go. His last hurrah! Wink It's worth noting though for future scenarios where the situation will be reversed.

WiIdfire · 14/11/2015 14:17

Where are you that still has tickets for the midnight showing? I got the last two (good seats) on the day tickets went on sale! V.excited here, and going to be leaving husband at home to look after the baby on the day. I know you've already decided, but bear in mind the answer varies on the man. I would be fine after a late night. My husband would be grumpy. My BIL will be no good to anyone for at least 48 hours! It's a good job I'm not taking him... No, wait, I am :-D But then he's not awaiting a baby the next day.

At the least make sure he understands that the decision is reversible, and if you really are in a state the night before, then he wont be going.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2015 14:20

Well we have never had a thread from.someon who scared themselves by driving tired and having an incident have we Hmm

the difference here is there's a choice. and the husband is choosing to watch a film.that results in a chain of events leading to a possible dangerous situation completely avoidable by choosing a more sensible day or time.

teatowel · 14/11/2015 14:20

I would let him go. Lots of hanging around even with planned caesarians- I've had 3. If he needs to he can cat nap then. As for the driving problem -well if it were a 5 hour drive to the hospital it may be a problem! A 10 minute drive with lots of excitment coursing through both of you is hardly likely to cause a problem. Anyway this is a site for parents- most of us must have got up and driven to work after sleepness stress filled nights with small children. At least he will have had a relaxing time in the cinema. Good luck with your new baby!

megletthesecond · 14/11/2015 14:21

I wouldn't drive on 4hrs sleep. I would drop plans and even took annual leave on a couple of occasions when I had to commute, but I worked for a F&RS who had to cut people out of car accidents so I don't take silly risks in my car . I walk to work now so I can get there safely even when I'm exhausted I just screw it all up when I get there.

PicaK · 14/11/2015 14:45

Let him go. At least you'll have something to talk about while you wait the next day. Plus you'll prob be asleep 11.30pm-3pm while he's out.
I've been waiting since i was 12 so understand his excitement. I'd go with him. You'll feel rubbish after the c-section anyway and you could both just doze the morning away while u wait.
Are you v worried about the c-section tho? Is that a bigger issue?

Libitina · 14/11/2015 14:59

Can't believe all the "Let him go" comments. Is he a child and the OP his Mother? Let? Really??

As a Star Wars fan I believe he should go, no reason why not.

gallicgirl · 14/11/2015 15:05

These aren't the answers you are looking for.

Go to the cinema, he will.

Hey MNHQ, where's my Jedi emoticon then?

RumbleMum · 14/11/2015 15:17

I see I'm a bit late but I'd have said YANBU. In your position I'd be pretty apprehensive and expecting DH to be there to provide some reassurance and also help if DC1 woke etc.

I'm pretty relaxed about DH doing whatever he wants to, but in this case I'd say my needs came first. Not everyone would feel the same need for reassurance the night before a C-section but if you feel you need it, he should be there to provide it. It's not like you're asking him to stay in because you're nervous about who's going to win The Apprentice.

BumWad · 14/11/2015 15:18

STAR WARS

RomComPhooey · 14/11/2015 15:22

Just read your OP to DH. We have Star Wars tickets booked for 19th Dec to accommodate our primary school age sons' desire to see the film. DH is a big nerdy Star Wars fan and he said your husband "needs to get his priorities straight". For the record, I was sitting on the fence but DH is right.