Star Wars vs c-section

[Starwarsorbaby]

Have nc for this, as dh will want to see results!

Mumsnet jury is needed....

Just got the letter through for my c-section - 17th December. DH wants to see the midnight showing of the new Star Wars movie at midnight, 16th/17th December. I have to go in at 7.30am on the 17th.

AIBU to not really want him to go? I think I'm going to be nervous and want him at home, and we're going to be pretty busy after baby gets here/in hospital all day etc; I think he needs his rest. (we already have young ds1) He is a massive Star Wars fan and is excited about the movie. He's very good at home, massive support and brilliant dad/dh. I (and ds) will, hopefully, be in bed, asleep.

AIBU?

I hope most of these comments are jokey.

I'm having an elcs next week and I'm already feeling scared. The night before I'll want and need company and support. Also we have a young DS like you OP and if he gets up in the night for any reason I wouldn't want to be up dealing with him alone the night/morning of surgery whilst DH is at the cinema. Yanbu.

I'd let him go. I'd probably go along too tbh. I'm a huge Star wars fan though.

Why jokey? I was induced and ended up in labour for 42 hours. I sent my husband home a couple of times for some rest, plus he also went for a run. Afterwards, whilst our baby was in NICU and I was still an in-patient, I encouraged him to go to a friends BBQ and for a family meal out, to get him out of the hospital.

It's fine to want your husband with you for these things, and to need his support, but dont assume everyone needs their husbands to be present every single minute. Like I said, only the OP and her husband know what is right for them.

OP has already said she thinks she'll be nervous and want him home and that she thinks he'll need his rest. So it wasn't an assumption. If she feels that way then he should be home to support his family. The cinema can wait for another day.

Giles, I think that's a bit of a TV myth TBH. In the very unlikely event that something went wrong, medical staff would be acting immediately on their training and/or consulting qualified doctors and surgeons about the best course of action and how to get the best chance of survival for both. They wouldn't ask a terrified, unqualified husband to choose one.

It is not a myth however that sometimes hospital care is completely lacking. if my dp hadn't been at the birth of dd2 I'd have given birth alone whilst lying in a position that potentially meant dd 2 could have been hurt. I was on the gas and air and in alot of pain o had no idea I'd been left on my own as I had no pillows and was completely flat and laid in a way I couldn't see a damn thing.

sometimes your dp is all you sodding have in a hospital to look out for your health.

and they aren't much use to you if they passed out asleep somewhere having stayed up all night watching movies.

I'd be going with him. And I've had two cs. There's no right or wrong answer and there's no let him about it. Be honest with him, let him be honest with you and discuss what's best as a family. My opinion is largely irrelevant.

I know that technically there's no reason he shouldn't be able to fiction properly the next day, and that technically I might enjoy the night alone, but in reality I'd be stupendously disappointed in my choice of husband if he chose to go watch a film instead of keeping me company the night before a life changing day.

There's no way DH would even consider this.

Wildfire presumably the OP does want him to stay home since otherwise she wouldn't be posting.

Though I am totally shitting myself about my own ELCS and he knows that, so perhaps I'm projecting a little!

I think he should go. Once the baby is here he won't be able to go for a while and will struggle to avoid spoilers.

Ofc he should keep his phone on vibrate.

It doesn't start til midnight so he will have the last evening with you and when you go to bed he'll go to see the film.

Yes it's only a film but it's a film he's wanted to see since 1983 I'd bet.

Congratulations on your expanding family :)

I'd let him go! You probably won't sleep well the night before anyway, and the excitement of the film and then the section should keep him awake!

Thanks to everyone who replied. He's bought the ticket, so it's all set! Have said about having to cancel if I feel I need him at home, which he will. My mum is coming to stay, so she will be at home with me, so at least I won't be on my own.

Apparently I'm the best wife ever, get my own way for the next five weeks and waited on for a month after the birth (or until money runs out and he goes back to work)

And, I don't have to think of an Xmas for him now! Result!

My DP wouldn't even ask, baby is more important than the film.

I'd let him go! And probably go with him even though I'm not a fan. Wouldn't be able to sleep anyway!

I'm awkward.

If he said he was still planning to go I'd be really pissed off. LTB

However if he voluntarily said he'd cancel then I'd encourage him to go!

Personally I'd rather he went and enjoyed himself as he'll be busy for a while after baby arrives. Could you go too?

OP - just read your last post, sorry - I think it's the right thing!

I think letting him go is the right thing.

Though I am totally shitting myself about my own ELCS

Don't shit yourself, Thursday. It's really OK. I've had 2 - one EMCS and one ELCS. I'd take the elective over the EMCS any day. Just take it easy afterwards and ask for more pain relief whilst you are still in hospital if you need it. They don't encourage much beyond paracetamol, but you can have tramadol if you are finding the pain really hard to manage on paracetamol - though they don't like to give it if you are breastfeeding, because it can cross into your milk.

I wouldn't support him going, any more than I would support you going. He put the baby in there so he can make sure he's in good shape to hold your hand when it's coming out and in the first few days when you are recovering. Starting off exhausted isn't fair to anyone else. If it was my DH he would be a lot less patient with DD and less efficient, not just for the next day but for a few days.

Thank you RomCom .
This elcs is a result of previous emcs - hoping to rid myself of some demons!

Sorry but as a real life Stormtrooper Star Wars will always come first

Good luck! And please call the baby Luke or Leia!

Sorry Perry, I have vetoed these names, and we already have one picked! We saw some real stormtroopers tonight, were you out?!

Grrr, I meant percy.

I have been out all day today yes, in our local toyshop, with a Boba Fett and Princess Leia.....
Out again tomorrow at a charity event for a hospice. Completely knackered this weekend, it's all getting a bit busy lol.

I suspect there may be a few Luke and Leia's popping up in the next few years so probably a wise choice.