Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

to think parents who dont rsvp are rude?

143 replies

Fantasyland · 13/11/2015 17:32

I don't understand why people don't say yes or no to party invitations (other than child losing invitation at school)
Out of 15 kids only 7 have rsvp and because of the activity I need to know the exact number of kids.

Some of the parents i've managed to catch after school today when the party is tomorrow and they say oh no he cant come but they could have told me earlier! Its so frustrating. is this normal for me to chase people whether they are coming or not?

OP posts:

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 13/11/2015 17:41

Sadly yes. People are rude in all walks of life. You will have to chase invites, especially if you need to know exact numbers.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 13/11/2015 17:44

Yes.

But they don't care that they're rude. They care about no one but themselves.

cojmum · 13/11/2015 17:48

I hate this. It takes two seconds to send a text. There really is no need for it.

Spidertracker · 13/11/2015 17:51

I agree, that said I have had a lot of replies but 17 out of the 20 are no. Another child is having a party at the same time , one DD wasn't invited to so we didn't know about the clash.

Scholes34 · 13/11/2015 17:51

I deal a lot with invitations at work for informal events. I've learnt over time that I need to say "let me know whether OR NOT you're able to come".

GreatFuckability · 13/11/2015 17:54

I'm crap at RSVP'ing. I'm not delibrately rude, but I am busy. 3 kids, one of me, full time job, etc etc. and I forget. I always mean too, but I will admit that often I do have more important things on my mind and stuff like that gets lost in the mists of my brain.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/11/2015 17:55

I hate this too..I'm. still waiting g on several to reply from.weeks ago. it's gonna be a very small.party

londonrach · 13/11/2015 18:04

Very rude. I wish all parents would add.. If no rsvp but certain date sadly rude parents child not invited. I wish everyone did this as make everyones life alot easier. It takes seconds to text. grrr

HortonWho · 13/11/2015 18:08

I think it's even worse when you chase them up politely closer to the party date and they still can't be arsed to even text "sorry" or "no". This was in nursery, so no way to chase up with them in person.

BobblyQuim · 13/11/2015 18:10

I don't think people understand that its RSVP yes or no rather than just RSVP if you're coming. If birthday party invites for your children are your first experience of an invitation with an RSVP, i can see where a misunderstanding could come from.

BlueBlueSea · 13/11/2015 18:11

Drove me mad when the kids were little. One party, I was so fed up with the parents not replying that I put a list in the reception of nursery asking the parents who had not yet replied to tick yes or no. They still did not reply even though I had seen them there, and everyone read the notices on the table. So glad those days are over.

MTPurse · 13/11/2015 18:14

I really can not get my head round this either. It is my Ds's party tomorrow, I sent the invitations out 3 weeks ago, 16 went out and I have had 3 replies.

I have been having to run round chasing people and feeling like a Twat like I am almost begging them to come to his party only to get answers like 'Yes he will be attending didn't your ds tell you' Well yes ds told me but how am I supposed to take the word of a 9 year old?

I just think it is extremely rude of parents not to rsvp (especially when I put my phone number on the invite).

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 13/11/2015 18:33

Put a date to rsvp by and make it clear next time places only booked if the reply is sent.

I don't bother sending invites again to parents who can't be bothered to reply.

BlissfullyUnknown · 13/11/2015 18:37

I'm sorry. I am that rude parent. I don't mean to be but I am. I always think I'll text later, I'll do it in 5, I really need to reply (when I don't have the invite to hand for the number).

I'm not great at texting people back full stop if I'm honest. I receive a text and reply with a phone call or I'll never respond

I'm making a conscious effort to try harder though.

BlissfullyUnknown · 13/11/2015 18:38

Oh and I do always respond eventually on the last day the rsvp is for

I also tend to grab them in the playground if I see them.

AmandaTanen · 13/11/2015 18:42

Party tomorrow for my DC and still waiting for some RSVPs, thankfully it's a pay a set amount and you can have x number of kids, still have to do extra party bags but I don't mind as its a piece of cake and a sweetie, so nothing too much.

It is so rude! I'm busy, work, have a long commute, a DH that works shifts, it doesn't take much to send a text, it only takes 5 mins at most to check the date, reply and mark in the diary.

Moreshabbythanchic · 13/11/2015 18:49

My DGD recently had a birthday party, most parents had replied and their children were catered for. No reply from one child so unsure whether she would attend or not, father turned up with said child plus elder sister but said he would look after ES while the party took place. The children sat down for party food, ES squeezed in, grabbed handsfull of food then father walked round helping himself to food too.

That's what I call rude.

CakeMakesEverythingBetter · 13/11/2015 19:02

We didn't get responses from 5 out of 15 for my dd2's party last week. Venue called me for final numbers and I stupidly said we'd better book them places just in case. Obviously they didn't turn up and neither did two of the ones who had said they were coming. By some miracle I'd picked a venue which absolutely refused to charge me for any children who hadn't turned up. They had catered for them, so I should have paid but it was their policy and wouldn't take the money. I'm now praising them to all and sundry

Mari50 · 13/11/2015 20:18

It's the rudest! I always RSVP'd but before I threw my first party for dd I wasn't necessarily prompt- 2/3 days prior.
After the stress of waiting for replies to dd's invites and realising how difficult it is organising a party with noidea how many kids you're catering for, I now reply immediately. There's no excuse really other than not really giving a shit about the hassle it's causing and once you experience that you have no excuse!!
And people who don't reply and turn up!! Nightmare. Not replying, it's pure bad manners and sorry, there is no excuse.

Oakmaiden · 13/11/2015 20:22

Sometimes parents just forget...

I often forget. So I am always grateful when a parent sends a reminder...

People often forget to reply to invitations I send too. I send them a polite reminder, get my child to quiz there child, and if all else fails guess who is likely to come or not.

Oakmaiden · 13/11/2015 20:24

Oh my goodness! I used the wrong "there"!

Hang head in shame and goes to namechange...

SweetPeaSoup · 13/11/2015 20:42

Someone on here posted that a good idea is to send out invites with the party date, but not the time. That way, parents who want their kids to come are forced to contact you...

CFSsucks · 13/11/2015 20:46

I always put a 'please reply by X date'.

YANBU, it's extremely rude. A text takes all of 30 seconds. No one is that busy that you can't spare 30 seconds to respond to an invitation. I hate it when people cite their extreme busyness as an excuse. So you are busy, aren't we all. And if you are a 'forgetter', do it as soon as you see the invite, then you can't blame your forgetfulness. It's not rocket science.

gladisgood · 13/11/2015 20:53

If you had handed the invite to me personally - then I would make sure I had replied and if I didn't you could justifiably think I was a rude bitch!

However, as has just happened to me , sometimes invites get given to my 5 year old who really, really wants to go to the party and so she put it in a "safe" place.

She presented it to me 2 days before the party ( and 2 weeks past the reply by xx date) and I had to eat humble pie and phone the mum of the Birthday girl and massively apologise... -was very embarrassed--

AprilParadox · 13/11/2015 20:55

It's annoying and a pain to chase people but its certainly not extremely rude. Life is hectic and things get forgotten.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6