To not know why some people are anti dummies?

[TaliZorah]

Had a couple of comments about using them. I get everyone has different opinions but I can't see a reason to be against them? At least the bf vs ff argument has advantages and disadvantages to either whereas this seems to have no issues?

Something I've been thinking about after a few "MY child didn't need a dummy" (do you want a medal..?)

I was so grateful for that dummy when my toddler cut his head open and he had to be held down and his head glued in a&e.

Both me and his dad were there to cuddle/soothe him throughout but the dummy really helped too.

The thing with dummies that I really don't like is when the kid drops it on the floor, the mum sucks it then gives it back to the kid.

That just doesn't seem hygienic.

Otherwise, I don't have a problem with them.

I have one at home, but haven't tried ds (8 weeks old) with it yet. I'd rather not have the hassle of keeping it clean so will probably only give it to him if he seems to need it.

Putting her back on the boob would always get her to sleep but if I wanted to do something else instead I used the dummy. Looking back that was not for her benefit but mine and I wouldn't do it again.

That's a ridiculous view. There's nothing wrong with not being glued to your child, or wanting some me time. Parents having their own identity is not a luxury. As long as the child is loved and cared for, a parent having some me time isn't wrong. I'm a much better mum when I've had some relaxation.

I'm surprised you have the time to write on here ispy it sounds like you should be knitting your own knickers out of granola

pyjama, I don't let people like nutella bother me, I just award them one of these in my head

Are you always such a cunt, Nutella?

OP you start off by saying you don't like people judging you for making different parenting decisions to them, but that's precisely what you're doing to some of the people who have taken the time to reply to your thread.

We all have different ideas about the 'best' way to do things, if there was one clear right way then we'd all just do it and there'd be no discussion.

The thing with dummies that I really don't like is when the kid drops it on the floor, the mum sucks it then gives it back to the kid

Agreed just utterly gross

Ds was sucking his thumb on the 20 week scan. He's got a suck like a black hole and my poor poor boobs are suffering.

I use the dummy when he's in that frantic must suck mood, it calms him down and means he's not stuck to a nipple 24/7.

Honestly, I'm in so much pain with my boobs that if I hadn't given him a dummy I'd have given up bf-ing a long time ago.

I think so many of these 'issues' are rubbish and the mummy martyr crowd thrives on them. Until babies stop being such orally fixated little buggers, they want something to suck.

flap I don't judge people who don't use them but people who are assholes about it (like some people who replied) shouldn't expect people to be nice back.

I think so many of these 'issues' are rubbish and the mummy martyr crowd thrives on them.

I agree with this

Thanks armchair. My DD is still only 3 so I have a lot of adapting to do, yet

It seems to me that being a parent opens you up to judgement that you would never get in any other aspect of your life.

From the time you're pregnant everyone has got an opinion on the way you do things.

At best it's annoying at worst it can be really hurtful.

pyjama exactly. Especially the weird asking about birth/breastfeeding. Would you ask me about my vagina normally? No? Well then don't do it now.

I think so many of these 'issues' are rubbish and the mummy martyr crowd thrives on them

It's madness. There's no one right way to raise children. It's highly dependent on culture (read "cherubs chattels and changelings" if you'd like an anthropological tour of various child rearing practices.) it's also dependent on the parents dynamic and the child's personality. All the attachment parenting/cry it out wars/breast v bottle etc... its all bollocks

Children don't remember whether they were breastfed. They dont remember whether you fed them a jar of baby food or organic carrot purée. They don't remember having a dummy or not a five weeks old. These things don't matter to children. They are social signifiers to the parents, who seem to be in some sort of status war using martyrdom as a points system.

They do remember being loved, cuddled, played with etc in childhood.

If your kids are fed, watered, sheltered, reasonably clean, loved and nurtured and growing up to be respectful human beings, you're doing fine. Love your kids, give them boundaries and guidance, keep them fed and watered and everything else is window dressing.

DS was very premature & fed through a tube in SCBU for a number of weeks.

The ward sister asked if I was happy for him to have a dummy to stimulate his sucking reflex.

Absolutely said I.

Quite right skipton, I also think some people need to realise it's not either/or, all or nothing.

It's not 3 year old strapped in pushchair with dummy and CBeebies vs sling wearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping, cloth nappy organic mummy.

I did a brief Google and found this article, op. It gives the advantages and disadvantages of dummies (without use of the word chavvy).

2 of mine had dummies, the other didn't take to it. I gave them dummies because I sucked my thumb until I was about 8 and totally mucked my teeth up. At least with a dummy you can take them away. It did effect their milk teeth, but as soon as they gave it up their teeth actually moved to a 'normal' position, unlike my adult teeth that never recovered. I don't get why anyone has issue with dummies tbh.

Skiptonlass there are many, many reasons I chose to breastfeed my children, I can guarantee that 'scoring points', 'making a social status point' or 'because they will remember they were bf rather than ff' are absolutely not among them!

I agree with Skipton. I have teens now and have to really think to remember anything I did with them as babies in terms of being 'correct'.

Slings made me hot and uncomfortable, breastfeeding was a disaster and co sleeping made me anxious and stressed, that I do remember. I slaved over purees and ice cube trays a la Annabel Karmel but they loved a jar.
You do whatever you can to make it easier on yourself and it's all down to personal preference.

I am now navigating teen issues which is no walk in the park so I am just doing what I think best once again.

Ispy I took what skipton meant to be don't sweat the small stuff, the children won't remember or care, it won't make much difference to their outcomes, and none of it makes you a better or worse parent so stop sneering at people.

My step mum said in digusted tones '' well you can chuck that in the bin, disgusting things''. I asked her why she felt so strongly about it, and she had no idea. My son loved his dummy, I read somewhere the sucking relieves pressure in the head. My daughter wouldn't have one at all. I didn't praise myself just because she didn't have a dummy! She now at 9, rabbits on ALL day and I wish she would have a dummy!
In a world where we value freedom and democracy, why do people interfere so much?

It used to drive me bloody spare when my sil used to pull ds's dummy out of his mouth, (after a 3 hour car journey, having been asleep and then freaked out waking up in a strange place), saying, 'oh you don't want that horrible thing in'

Ds let her know that he very much did want it in, in the only way he knew how.

'Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah'

hazey I'd be so annoyed if someone did that!