Ways in which your life has *NOT* been destroyed since having children.

[Sortedforcheeseandwizz]

Are there any?! Can anyone tell me one thing that makes life with children better/happier/nicer than life before? (Or more than one, if you’re feeling particularly chipper today..)

Doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful, can be anything, big or small!

A combination of social media and a lot of "Just you wait!" people in my life has meant I'm starting to believe that motherhood is horrific and unmanageable. (Some big decisions ahead and having a wobble…)

We visited the UK in September and I was more excited about DS1's 4th birthday than he was because I got to go to the Natural History Museum again. And I got to watch him go on a train for the first time. And a pony ride. Twas brilliant.

I LOVE Christmas and also watching their faces when they see Santa and come downstairs to find presents under the tree makes your heart soar.

They come out with things like "mummy, please don't bend over. I can see your nasty bottom" (thanks DS1, my bum is actually quite nice!); and

"please can my [little brother's name] come to my pre-school, because I just love him so much - he's my little buddy"

My life hasn't been destroyed by having kids, far from it! It's harder now for sure, but only because I have to think about more things. I still sleep, go out and party with DH, enjoy lovely meals, have a decent figure and use the bathroom in peace. Sure, I don't have as much time to dick about on the beach getting a tan, feel marginally more guilty dropping a vast sum of money on shoes and spend far more time negotiating shopping aisles with a full trolley than I did before but my boys are the best thing I've ever created

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread, but I'm glad it has brought you joy. In case anyone hasn't already said these:

I have made some true friends whose paths wouldn't have otherwise crossed mine. The intensity of the early baby days can make for deep friendship bonds. It is such a relief to know you are not thr only sleep deprived person.

I love re-learning the things I found interesting at school, often in a more open, discursive way. My son's RE homework for example is always fascinating. Ditto re-reading childhood books.

Life feels more cyclical, as it did when we were children: new term, seasons, Christmas, Easter etc, all have more resonance than when I worked in an office.

Being able to say the annoying things you vowed you never would.

Baby smells, gurgles etc, I know others have said.

Many, many more things than this.

The laughter. No-one else can make me do pee in the pants laughter like DS.

Seeing the world through their eyes and sharing your interests with them.

The love is amazing and there is so much gushing with pride and amazement. And being someone's all time favourite person is pretty nice too.

Being told "Mummy you look like a PRINCESS" when you wear a skirt.

Big hugs and excitement when you pick them up from nursery. DC2 (18 mo) tucking head under my chin in the sling, and wrapping all four limbs as far round me as possible when I've been out for the day.

Mad games, and I'm looking forward to proper crafts (I'm a Guider but my rather uncoordinated 3yo can't draw/colour/cut out).

Excitement about random things like sheep or trains or knitting (though it can get a bit wearing).

It is actually possible to have DCs who wolf down huge portions of your cooking (I have 1 1/2- DC2 has smaller portions but devours them).

Someone creeping into bed with a book in the morning.

Watching them learn things, and watching them learn what they can't do yet (DC1 worked out that I could read the words in books and wasn't making the up).

I like being able to sit in the park and read a book in the sun while the dc play.

I like having dc to take on walks around forests and shit. When they were little we used to do random stuff like go to the park on the rain and walk along the walls and jump in the puddles.

It's really nice to take them out for hot chocolates and cake.

You get to jump on the bouncy castles in soft play and trampolines.

They bring you cups of tea and toast on Saturday mornings! They also wash up and sort clean washing out if you train them well!

Everything is better, just everything.
Just you wait, you'll see how everything is new and fun again because your kid has never seen it before.
These dick heads trying to paint it as some kind of thankless endurance test are in the minority I think.

I love going in to tuck dd in and kiss goodnight before I go to bed. Makes me feel so lucky and warm on the inside.
& some of my happiest moment is watching dd appreciate the most simple of things, like running through the leaves today, stomping in puddles with the biggest grin-
Pure happiness over the most simple things, puts things into perspective for me.

going into the soft play areas
playing with lego/megablocks ect
being silly
ds1' kisses
ds2 big gummy smiles
the way ds2 looks at me after he has finished a bf
when ds1 holds out his hand for me (he is very independant, so he does not do this often)

My son laughing his head off with joy whenever he sees my breasts because he knows what's coming. Also breast related- him crawling over and yanking my top down. Pretty funny. And just generally having a child, it gets very stressful but it's certainly worth it for me.

This is my favourite mumsnet thread! I agree with loads of the toddler ones, my DD is 18 months and great fun. I too worried about all the negatives and while some days are hard (some of the baby days I didn't like) the amazing and wonderful stuff outweighs.

How do we nominate a thread for classics ? I think this should be a record for all mums to be

You can play at soft play.

Just loving someone so much more than you ever thought possible. It is a whole new experience.
Feeling a soft little hand slipping into yours.
The funny things they say, the mixed up sounds and the comical misunderstandings.
The questions they ask trying to figure out the world.
Getting to do jigsaws and lego.
Their joy at simple things.
Having someone be mega excited to see you and shower you with kisses when you only parted a few hours earlier.
Much cuteness.
I often find being a parent tiring and exasperating, but those feelings are transient and don't diminish the wonderfulness of being a mummy. Sorry it that is sick-making, but it is true!

Buying little girls sparkly shoes and party dresses.
Having a 3 year old do your hair and make up
When they bring you a picture they have drawn especially for you.
The way they try and negotiate with you - dd (3) said to me the other day 'mummy, if you buy me a toy, i won't have a temper tantrum all day so you can do your jobs......is that a deal mummy?'
Getting waived through airport security lanes and immigration queues because you have little ones.
Legoland!

I was getting just a little bit bored with my life before ds. You can only do so many city breaks, go to so many restaurants, go out on so many nights out drinking before it gets a bit monotonous.

Weekends have more purpose now. I love days out to some local fete type thing, museum, zoo etc and seeing my sons reaction to everything. It's like living your Childhood again.

Made some lovely friends on my mat leave, my social life whilst it may not involve quite as much "going out" is certainly more full and varied.

Cuddles with your child are just the best!!!

Ridiculous levels of silliness. Playing stupid games and dancing round the kitchen. The cuddles and kisses and moments of cuteness which just melt your heart. The absolutely unconditional love you have for each other. Watching something you made grown and change and become more amazing every day. Doing things you never would have done, and finding joy in the silliest, most trivial things.

It's generally bloody awesome being a mum. Yes, there are days when I could happily scream/cry/throw one or all of my family out of the window, but most of the time, it's brilliant.

Singing silly sings, I get weird looks when I am on my own

Worst day? Dh phoned to tell me Robbie Williams was in the same hotel bar as him in Finland. Then called back to say Kiri te Kanawa had joined him. That was a bad day at home - hadn't even got dressed!

Mine are big now - they've kept me alive and young. They can also drive me home from parties though sometimes they still drive me mad. I burst with pride at the thoughtful, caring funny individuals I've created. My 4 are a gang, ready to stand up for and look out for other for ever. With every year I love them more - which is amazing given how my heart burnt so much when I first saw dd1. She's 22 next month. Stick with it - it gets better!

Dh has also since taken me to said hotel in Finland. No Robbie or Kiri though.

I'd have to say in all honesty I had no idea I could love as much as I love my son. Even when he's demanding banana at 4am.

I keep it quiet around people with no kids. It's their choice, but I secretly think they don't know what they're missing.

They laugh at their own farts. Little People are just comedy gold. The hugs. The little hands in yours for reassurance.

I have 2 little boys and yes, it's bloody hard sometimes, and I can't go out like I used to or spend money on myself (relatively) guilt free and I'm always tired and sometimes grumpy and my husband and I nark at each other a lot BUT holding their little hands is THE best feeling in the world. And when they properly hug you for the first time, and when they say "I love you Mummy" or marvel at a digger by the side of the road, or the pride on their faces when they bring home a painting from nursery or manage to take their own t shirt off or etc etc etc. I have certainly struggled don't get me wrong, but they are literally the most magical, beautiful little creatures and the love is just overwhelmingly bone crushingly strong :-) You will get the people telling you to "just wait" and "life will never be the same again" etc, yawn.. but you'll get just as many and probably more people telling you to cherish every second because they grow up too fast!

Cuddles, Christmas, playing and mad laughter. Having someone to tickle and play hide and seek with. Getting to pretend to be a monster / alien / dinosaur. Becoming endlessly inventive and devious.

There are downsides too tbh OP - and if you feel that way, you're very normal. Some people are quite honest about the cons of having kids, many others (especially women) are very reserved on the subject. It's ok to find it hard at times.

I'm not a mumsy mum at all and some days I feel like strangling our 3 yr old like today but I also love her so fiercely it still surprises me and when she's not throwing a shitfit she can be very good company.

I love this thread. Im smiling away in agreement with so much stuff. We should get this thread in to classics to dip in to whenever we've had a tough day.

OP, try to imagine you had arrived on this planet from outer space and someone was describing love to you. You'd hear about relationships, what can go wrong, how they can screw you up, how much energy they take and how much risk they involve. You might think, "Who would bother with that?" but we know that being in love enriches our lives like nothing else, even with the downsides.

Maternal love is that with knobs on. A lot of it is boring drudgery, they break your heart many times. But studded among all that are nuggets of pure gold. In fact, it's the drudgery that makes the gold more shiny, if you see what I mean. It gives you highs and lows like nothing else in life.

And, as Hels said, the feeling of a trusting little hand in yours is unsurpassed joy.

Tiny button noses.

Tiny, beautiful feet and hands.

Snuggles (both the long, lazy early morning ones and the quick, crawl-onto-your-lap-then-off-again ones.

Their sleepy little faces gazing up at you first thing when you go in to wake them.

The realisation that I spent my pregnancy stressing about all the freedoms I'd have to forego, the luxuries I'd have to do without, the nights out I'd miss, etc etc - then after they were born it dawned on me that actually I gave far less of a fuck about all those things than I previously thought.

The perfect excuse not to have washed my hair before leaving the house-