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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ways in which your life has *NOT* been destroyed since having children.

269 replies

Sortedforcheeseandwizz · 10/11/2015 15:10

Are there any?! Can anyone tell me one thing that makes life with children better/happier/nicer than life before? (Or more than one, if you’re feeling particularly chipper today..)

Doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful, can be anything, big or small!

A combination of social media and a lot of "Just you wait!" people in my life has meant I'm starting to believe that motherhood is horrific and unmanageable. (Some big decisions ahead and having a wobble…)

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 10/11/2015 15:20

DS is 11. I can now sit on my arse and send him off to fetch stuff for me, it's like having a mini butler Smile

LaLaLaaaa · 10/11/2015 15:20

I currently have a 15 week old baby asleep on my tummy. He is cuddled up to me and looks beautiful. He's warm, smells amazing and to him I am his world.

There are times being a mum is hard, but these moments make it utterly worth it.

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/11/2015 15:21

Lego.

Making decorations for Easter/Halloween/Xmas that would look a bit juvenile if you didn't have a kid around.

Cuddles, when they're in the mood for such.

Getting to re-watch your childhood favourites ad nauseum and see them through fresh eyes.

Watching them develop aspects of your sense of humour and start to get jokes.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 10/11/2015 15:21

I also think I must have been quite bored pre-DS.

LittleLionMansMummy · 10/11/2015 15:22

My ds himself makes life happier, nicer and better than before. He has massively helped me put things in perspective. Nothing matters as much to me as my little family. I laugh more, cry more, feel more and care less about the unimportant things than I have ever done before. Loving someone so much you'd die for them in a heartbeat is pretty fucking awesome.

cleoteacher · 10/11/2015 15:23

Laugh more than I used to as ds is hilarious. Having great cuddles and feeling that rush of love when I cuddle them.

LaLaLaaaa · 10/11/2015 15:23

And the baby gummy smiles melt your heart!

KittyandTeal · 10/11/2015 15:24

My life is utterly different now I have dd. There are tonnes of things I can't do or it's easier not to do.

However, I wouldn't swap it for the world. There is no particular thing that makes it worth it, just her and she's being an absolute pain atm

At times it's been the hardest thing I have ever done but it is absolutely amazing too.

Try not to let them bring you down

lenleeds · 10/11/2015 15:25

Love and laughter. There is so much more of that now.

I look at her and marvel how I ever created anything quite so perfect.

Beeswax2017 · 10/11/2015 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleLionMansMummy · 10/11/2015 15:27

Also the random conversations as their language skills emerge. I will never forget the conversation with ds when he was 3 about whether a dog or a crocodile would win in a fight with each other. You just go with it and remember the fabulous, completely boundless imagination of your youth. Marvellous.

Maki79 · 10/11/2015 15:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the posters request.

longestlurkerever · 10/11/2015 15:27

Yeah, I think I was bored before too. I didn't think I was, but looking back I kept being on the hunt for some new project or other. Now I feel more content with my lot. I love kiddie logic, jokes and feel a lot more grounded in my community and have made new friends

lenibose · 10/11/2015 15:28

Cuddles. I got a 'you are my favourite Mummy' first thing in the morning from DS (nearly 4). I was tempted to point out that I was his only Mummy but I didn't. It takes them a while to show their love, but it's magical.

I think DS is good company. On my 1 day off work, we spend the morning pottering around, doing chores and chatting. I found the newborn stage tedious but everything after 18 months (including the terrible 2s) hasn't been too bad. That moment when a light goes on behind their eyes when they 'get' something is also magical. I love reading to DS and have since he's been a newborn. It's our favourite time. Last Friday we curled up on the sofa with hot chocolate/tea and I was reading 'The Enchanted Wood' to me. It was a very nice 20 minutes.

Questions. DS asks hilarious questions. This might out me, but he recently asked 'what was the name of the kangaroo shop in Bethlehem?' EIH? What? But also sometimes asks interesting questions. He has recently been asking more difficult questions about poverty and charity etc.

And yes, he is funny. He goes to a ballet class. It is (unintentionally) hilarious. I suspect their nursery Nativity production will be similarly hilarious.

Finally, a lot of people find different things about motherhood challenging. I found the boredom of the newborn phase excruciating. I quite enjoyed going back to work at 7 months. I also don't do well at home, so we've always been out and about a lot. Some people find the toddler stage extremely difficult, and I'm yet to experience the teenage years. Overall, it's been great fun getting to know this whole new person you've created.

On a practical basis, now that he's 4, we have our evenings back. With some planning, we can go out and see the odd movie, have dinner out. I would say that in the last 18 months or so, I've missed my 'old' life less and less.

Janeymoo50 · 10/11/2015 15:29

You learn to appreciate a whole new world of smells - mostly good (but of course the often bad!). Their bedtime bath smell is just brilliant.

Donge13 · 10/11/2015 15:31

Lego
Theme parks
Cartoons
Visiting Santa
Messy play
Splashing in puddles

I miss these things Smile

evilpopstar · 10/11/2015 15:33

understanding your mother's once unfathomable ways
kicking through leaves
reading ' The velveteen rabbit'
watching the lanterns section in tangled in 3D
Inside Out
Fireworks in the garden! and sparklers!
Christmas Christmas Christmas
kid's malopropisms - my 5 year old watches things on 'netflips'
maternity leave
building sand castles
cuddles hugs and more cuddles
telling someone you love them to the moon and back
finger painting
new friends
new things with old friends
being told you look beautiful when you look like a knackered old git
mumsnet
Once Upon a Time
rediscovering fairy tales
tutus!
school bake offs
wellington boots
origami
decorating cup cakes
water slides in the garden in summer (not the water bills though)
grandads head with a bunch of glitter on it

its soo worth it.....and thank you for reminding me to remind myself...thats the key, you see.

GunShotResidue · 10/11/2015 15:33

As a pp said, I am more confident now I have DD. We

BreeVDKamp · 10/11/2015 15:34

There's loads!

Day goes quickly and no longer drags :)

I'm rarely bored. I'm lonely, but that's the same as pre-preg, and at least now I've got my own little bud with me all the time!

It's fun seeing them learn and they love the simplest things.

Love that I'm the best at getting DS to smile.

Our time is more precious so we use it more wisely, do more as a family rather than just sitting in front of the TV together at weekend.

You get to buy lush baby clothes!

CheesyNachos · 10/11/2015 15:34

Motherhood is often horrific and unmanageable. But it is also the best thing ever. Really.

It's odd, I was not all that maternal, and had awful PND that lasted until DS was over the age of 4 (he is now 5). And motherhood has been the best thing to happen to me ever. I feel so lucky every day. DS is also autistic and we have some fairly major challenges. But he is so funny. So bright. So witty. So incisive. He blows my mind every day with the knowledge that for the rest of my life I have the privilege to be his mother. I know that sounds soppy, but it is the most immense privilege to be able to live and love a child and to be entrusted with the task of guiding them through life and to adulthood. To see his personaility start to shine through, and to see his truly wacky sense of humour. I feel honoured to be able to share my life with him.

The deep primal aspect to parenthood, where you would die for them. That is an amazing thing to feel.

As I said, DS is autistic. He very recently started to say 'I love you'. And this morning he touched his nose to my forehead as a 'kiss'. That was pretty amazing.

It's great, really. :)

JugglingFromHereToThere · 10/11/2015 15:36

My enjoyment of ice-cream

  • DC are a good excuse for loitering in the park cafe over a raspberry sorbet or cappucino
Also beaches
LittleLionMansMummy · 10/11/2015 15:36

Coming home from a job interview where you've failed to get the job and hearing "Mummy you're beautiful" at the exact time you most need to hear it.

Marshpillow · 10/11/2015 15:36

The "just you wait" people are dicks, ignore them. My 7 month old DD is the funniest little thing, she really makes me laugh.
Things that are great about babies:
Watching the tiny human you created learn to do stuff all by themselves
Tiny cuddles
When they rest their head on your shoulder during the aforementioned tiny cuddles

Yeah the sleepless nights and the constant worry do suck but it's massively outweighed by the good stuff.

Seeyounearertime · 10/11/2015 15:37

Life before was grey and drab. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep.
Life now is full technicolour 3D toddlerscope. Grin

Instead of meetings with jackasses that think it's important to discuss the ins and outs of stock management for 4 hours, I get tonhave a tea party and play with paints and play doh.
Instead of dealing with 30 man children welders whose only concerns are Fishing, fighting and other thing beginning with F, I get to go for walks in the rain, playing on the swings because LO just wants too.

It's awesome and I wouldn't change being a SAHD for any amount of money in the world.

LurkingOne · 10/11/2015 15:37

There are lots of good ones on here, lego is way up there.

Sleepyhead's is a great one - "you go to the beach when you otherwise wouldn't have been arsed to"

And the reverse - youve got an excuse not to go to things you would have felt compelled to without kids.

I'll add being introduced to the comedic genius that is Bob Goblin on Wallykazam.

enjoying the simple things again

Can't put a value on the squeeze you get when you haven't seen them for a while (by which I mean a few hours!)