Ways in which your life has *NOT* been destroyed since having children.

[Sortedforcheeseandwizz]

Are there any?! Can anyone tell me one thing that makes life with children better/happier/nicer than life before? (Or more than one, if you’re feeling particularly chipper today..)

Doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful, can be anything, big or small!

A combination of social media and a lot of "Just you wait!" people in my life has meant I'm starting to believe that motherhood is horrific and unmanageable. (Some big decisions ahead and having a wobble…)

Playmobile

Mine is still cooking so I'll have to get back to you. Right now I'm on the cusp of a glorious year away from my shitty job. Huge positive I reckon!

You get to watch new words spill out all over the place.

You get to veg in front of films and repeat videos - and then when they are teenagers you can reminisce stupidly about bananas in pyjamas and kipper the dog.

You have a ready made excuse to stop yourself beating yourself up for being insufficiently "successful" at work.

When they are older you get to do all the things you love without feeling guilty because they can be passed off as "educational" eg theatre, nice trips etc

You can buy Lego, coco pops or colouring books pretend they are for the kids!

Finding a cafe with toys and ordering two tea cake just so the kids have got more time to play, not because I totally love tea cakes!

Also my dh is much more willing to go for a posh meal out these days, thanks to a good baby sitter!

I'm no evangelist about having children, but I do feel that life is now in 3-D whereas before I had a child, it was just 2-D. Even though at the time I didn't realise it or feel that anythign was missing. There is a new dimension to life now.

And loads of things are more fun - going to the park, to the museum, etc. because they're there and everything is new and exciting for them.

Other things e.g. shopping are less fun :)

On a practical note, I get to work part time and only on the days I want, so does my DH. Travelling by train etc is great - people are so nice to you when you've got a baby with you. Endless random strangers telling you your baby is beautiful. Having something in common with all sorts of people who you'd never normally be friends with. Playing in the park. Browsing all the cool toys. Gorgeous children's books. Bath time and jammies and cuddles. Your parents being delighted with you for giving them a grandchild. And everything is just sweeter - the colours are brighter. Tired but happy

My baby brought me a large white wind last week. He's 26.

East shopping gets more fun. Ihad a glass of fizz and nails done with my dds after a huge shop.

Having teen/adult kids is fun.

I think Eastwest has hit the nail on the head - mine are teenagers now, and although there have been (and are) times when it has been very tough, there are other times when I am so amazed that we managed to create two new people who say and do incredible things: it really does add a whole new dimension to life, and makes me see things in a different way. It also stops me being selfish.

Baby and toddler years were sometimes very hard, as I was full of doubt as to whether I was actually capable of looking after a baby, but as they got older we did things together that I would never have done on my own, and we now have some intriguing conversations. They also give me an insight into what life is like for a different generation.

Its impossible to generalise - different people will find different aspects of parenthood good and bad, but I do think, on the whole, it has taught me a lot about myself, too.

Playmobil!

dotty

hear hear. Agree with your post (I have teens and found the baby/toddler bit the hardest so far)

Parent brings up s lot of stuff that maybe might have been hidden before. About your own personality, your anxieties, and your links to how you were parented. And those things interact with your partner's 'stuff'.

It grows you up and makes you vulnerable all at the same time

I had the most wonderful moment last week when I got home from work and DH, DD (2yo) and our cat all came to meet me looking completely delighted to see me. It sounds minor but it was such a heartwarming moment of love and belonging, I won't forget for a long time how it made me feel.

It is hard work with a toddler, but I adore her with all my heart, she is hilarious and gives the best cuddles ever. DH and I are about to start work on number two (ooooh, I haven't told anyone in RL that!)

Working part time
Christmas, Halloween, even Easter are exciting again
They way they absorb knowledge is absolutely incredible and fascinates me
Disney movies
I have two incredible small people to just hang out with

Having someone to snuggle in bed that doesn't snore/take up most of the bed/do smelly man farts.

Having someone that will love you absolutely and unconditionally.

Having a good excuse to go to farms, zoos, petting zoos and so on.

Xmas, birthdays, Halloween, Bonfire night, Easter - give it a couple of years and they're about to get much more exciting

You can use DC as an easy excuse for lots of things you don't want to do.

Eg "just off to feed the baby MIL" (then hide with the internet or a novel); "oh sorry I can't, have to take DC to "

How about creating life? You'll never get to feel more like a God.

Danger mouse, I love that programme :)
Nobbly bobbly ice creams.

What a beautiful thread

The love you feel is intoxicating. That's the only word I have for it.
Seeing my babies' eyes light up with gummy, high cheeked excited smiles when I walked into their room. I would sometimes watch them sleep, and used to hope for them to wake up so I could see their eyes, and their smile, and hold them to me [sob]

You can feel proud of your weight loss, and new kitchen etc, but nothing fills you with more real pride than seeing your child achieve each new event in their life.
My son has ASD, and the first time he ever looked at me age 7 and said, "Love you, Mum", filled me with more happiness and pride and love, than any feeling. It's new, ever-changing, beautiful- each phase of their growing is.
And it's tiring and challenging too, but I promise you'd never change it. My DS is a teenager now, and I can borrow his trainers to go to the shops- and that makes me smile too

My life is richer beyond belief.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You're blessed- I promise xx

My DS rocks (generally)! I like spending time with this amazing boy- chatting, laughing, eating pizza (half meaty, half veggie).

We still travel, costs a bit more for 3 than it did for 2. We have revisited places we've loved to share them with DS and tried new places because he's interested in them.

Motherhood is doable- and often fun too!

I think the negatives come from people like my parents. Genuinely did not enjoy having children. My mum in particular will be the first to tell you you'll get no peace ever, you'll never get to do what you want, it's all work. Since becoming a parent I've realised she really hated my childhood because there's so much I've gained in me (patience, endless caring, common sense) let alone the bonus of my children in my life. Whole people that make mt life better!

No my mum has a t-shirt saying "if i'd known how much fun grandchildren were I'd have had them first". She thinks it's "so witty as it's true". It's sad she hated it.

It's 31 years since I had the first, and 4 and 5 are teenagers now. Life is wonderful having chidlren. I had a huge visceral need for them from mid teens and big maternal urges. I adore them. Yes, they are hard work at times although I've worked full time just about without a break most of those years so had that lovely balance of family and full time work so have the best of all worlds.

Absolutely speechless at the sheer loveliness of all these replies, you awesome, awesome people! Not like me to be so emotional but to every single person posting on this thread: please know how much I needed to hear all this, I actually can’t thank you enough.

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