Ways in which your life has *NOT* been destroyed since having children.

[Sortedforcheeseandwizz]

Are there any?! Can anyone tell me one thing that makes life with children better/happier/nicer than life before? (Or more than one, if you’re feeling particularly chipper today..)

Doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful, can be anything, big or small!

A combination of social media and a lot of "Just you wait!" people in my life has meant I'm starting to believe that motherhood is horrific and unmanageable. (Some big decisions ahead and having a wobble…)

Omg woolly my two laugh in their sleep, it's fantastic.

Holding their little hands.

Hell, yes; the cuddles. And the big kisses, sharing wotsits (DS has decided it's one of his duties in life to feed me), playing in the park, having a great excuse to visit theme parks; baking (and the very weird food combinations DS can make) plus early morning giggles.

The lack of sleep, privacy and time can drive you bananas. But then they do something irresistibly cute and you keep going. :-)

You'll never love something / some one so much
Cuddles
Not having to deal with Rotherham gaping hole of infertility
The shared discussions with dp about ds it's brought us do close
The fact n - seeing them grow and learn
My only regret is due to above infertility I am unlikely to have more

The fact that once they're here. You literally can't imagine life without them. Dd2 is only 5.5months old, and even though she's only been here for a short amount of time, I really can't imagine life before her. Same with dd1. It's strange to think that just over 3 years ago we were child-free. Seems like such a bizarre concept now.

The little things they do, that other people couldn't give two hoots about are amazing.

The funny, but ever so sweet things they come out with. Today dd1 asked dp if she could go into his belly and be a baby.

The baby smiles, there's nothing quite like coming into your baby's line of sight and then watching them beam and kick their legs with excitement. That is when you know that to them you are their whole world.

It's so, so hard sometimes. They can push you to the absolute limit. But when it's all said and done, you remember the good bits far more than you remember the bad.

When you sneeze more people say bless you.

You can say sorry we cant get a babysitter when youre invited to something you dont want to go to.

Ive learned a lot about steam trains.

I also think that when you become a parent you finally 'get it'.

You get why as a parent your life pretty much revolves around your children children, why you can't just carry on as normal and have the kids fit in with your lifestyle, why parents are so besotted and proud of every little thing they do and why the urge to suppress shouting from the rooftops about our little treasures is almost impossible.

You can't understand what it's like to be a parent, until you become one imo. It's fucking brilliant, to be quite honest.

Duchess I hear you on the skin. DD1 is 3 and has the softest cheeks. I love stroking them when she's asleep. And when she's awake she loves it too.

The love is difficult to comprehend until you get there, I think. Even when they've done something that makes you angry - like draw all over your new house with wet chalk - you look at them and the love wells up. It's hard to stay angry with a small person.

I'm constantly astounded by their capacity for learning. They are little sponges and the amount they pick up without you noticing is incredible. I feel so proud when either of my DCs tells me something they learned, or does something we've been trying to teach for a while.

Little things take on a huge significance. Who knew that clapping hands was so important?

The best bits for me recently have been watching my children become friends. They're 3 and 1, so this is very new, but DD2 adores her big sister, and DD1 is discovering that her little sister is fun to play with. And when they have empathy for each other is just amazing. When they cuddle each other it makes my heart burst.

And, as others have said, seeing my DH with his daughters is just wonderful. He is such a caring, loving Dad and it has really made me love him on a whole new level.

I am absolutely fascinated by watching my kids learn stuff. It is lovely to see up close.

A love that is so huge it makes your heart ache.

I am NEVER bored since having my daughters. Cuddles whenever I want them, I can play on the park again without being judged for it ;) I could go on forever, having a pram rather than carrying everything is a big perk too!

Little (and a bit bigger) voices saying 'I missed you mummy, I love you' when you've only been at work for 5 hours, not on a 6 month round the world trip!

Also play doh, now that is gooood stuff!

Thanks for this thread. I'm 32 weeks and while generally positive about impending motherhood really enjoyed your specific examples.

I'm looking forward to Easter Egg hunts in a few years' time. My mother did them for us and they were so much fun (even when I knew it was my mum!).

And tiny baby feet!

The love you get back
The pleasure in seeing them grow and mature
The support and understanding they give back
We make a fab team :-)

Love love love love love. Just the mist wonderful warm fuzzy feelings. The unimaginable cuteness. When they're a bit scared and you are the person they seek reassurance for. Knowing that you provide them with safety and security. Just the constant giggling and fun and getting to be silly. Playing with toys and making mess. Going for muddy walks. Looking at things through their eyes and realising yes that worm really is quite amazing and wanting to go and learn all about worms so you can answer all the possible questions they might have. Having my dd has made me a better person. I'm more interested in the world around me and I care more about the world and the people in it than I did before. I'm more compassionate. I love my dh more than I thought possible because me and him are doing this together. He gets it just like I get it.

Sorry. Went on a bit there and got all soppy. Yes you can park nearer shops and you can finish their chips when they don't want any more

All of these are true.

And remember, when the going gets tough (it does for everyone)...

The days are long, but the years are short.

My 15 year old DS1 gave my DH a cuddle yesterday after he'd had a bad day at work and said 'Don't worry, it'll be alright'

Christmas becomes brilliant again. You fall in love every day.
You get to watch loads of great kids films
You can do party dances under the guise of supporting DC
It's ok to have loads of junk food in the house
You get to visit loads of new places in a bid to entertain them
You children will always surprise you and make you laugh like a drain
All in all more pluses than minuses

I completely get the skin thing. DD's is flawless. It's edible, as are her little feet :o

I also agree that there should be more space to 'mourn' for the life you have before. I have a couple of very honest friends who I know understand this feeling. It would be more helpful if we could all be told, 'Yes, sometimes you will really miss lie-ins / lazy brunches / mad nights followed by a hangover / holidays where you can lie about or walk about ALL DAY but in return you will bring a whole new person into the world and they will be hilarious much of the time'.

Instead we get the dementors ('Ooooh, it's all going to be terrible!') and the martyrs ('It's all wonderful and if you don't want to be tied to your child all day every day you are a villain!) Neither of whom are telling the truth.