to be annoyed with DP for saying I love you too much?

[hotlinesling]

Every single time I catch DPs eye he tells me he loves me and/or kisses me. Every single text message he declares his love. In person, if I don't reciprocate he says 'I do...I do...' repeatedly until I say it or - more usually - change the subject. The most annoying one is in the morning. He leaves for work an hour before the dc and I need to get up. He can't help himself and always has to whisper I love you before leaving. This 9/10 times wakes the baby. Am I being a heartless cow for wishing he'd stop or am I right to be annoyed?

Bluddy hell my DH kisses my bum every morning and says I love you before he leaves at 5am...what a bastard!...
Does he shout loudly because I'm unsure how whispered I love you can wake a baby??

There are some cuntish opinions on this thread. What is it about women supporting each other that scares so many twats people?

Mine does the same thing! Forcing me to say it back! Have you just recently got together? It might have been what he's used to with previous partners and it just takes him a while to adjust to you un-neediness!

Thread started: 09/11/2015 22:21
First time someone asked if OP had spoken to OH:
09/11/2015 22:21 scribblegirl
Have you spoken about it?

It's now 19/11/2015 and OP chooses to not answer.

According to other threads by OP:
She's been with OH for 8 yearsish, they have 3 kids, 8yo, 4yo and a few month old who's breastfeeding.

Quoting OP:
Pre-baby I wasn't so offended by him.
Post baby things evidently have changed, possibly OPs reaction to OHs actions. I would take from that that he's always been the same for 8 years and only in the last few months the OP has had an issue.

Also, from this thread:
he works from home a lot
Yet in the other threads:
DH sometimes works nights
Working from home says office working nights says other wise? But if working nights then the 'suffocation' is surely negated to a certain degree as that's an entire night alone?

I imagine there is actually more going on here with OP. I'd imagine that she's got an older son whos very clingy, toddler and LO that cries and needs a lot of attention. This is all mounting on to OPs shoulders and her OHs, normally fine and accepted behaviour, has become grating and an annoyance.

This, imo, doesn't equate to abuse. It equates to the OP being tired and annoyed by everything and her OHs actions being the straw that breaks the camels back, so to speak.

I would suggest a frank discussion, about the children and about the OH absent DD too, whom they havent seen in at least 5 months. To me that is adding emotional stress into an already fraught situation.

The absent DD is also another point worthy of mention. Maybe OPs OH is feeling guilty, depressed or otherwise e!optionally abandoned due to not seeing his eldest DD? It see!s the relationship with 9yoDDs mother has broken down and he has done the typical 'male' thing and buried his head and become stubborn. I'd suggest this is having a bigger affect than he is letting on and in an attempt to mitigate those feelings he's becoming more clingy to the only constant affection giver in his life? Unfortunately that's OP and she's already overloaded.

Just a few thoughts.

Edit: thread started 22.12, apologies.

I wonder how I survive...everyday my DH telling me he loves me at least thrice..hateful git...

Thank goodness your here, men such an independent thinker against the angry mob or are they mn royalists? Not sure.

And So sweet of you to leap to the defence of this exemplary dh/df.

But that's fine Yoni if you don't mind or indeed like it. But if you don't, you're exhausted and have three children then it may all look very different.

And if my DH woke me everything morning on his way out at 5am he'd

Hit post too soon, sorry.

... he'd learn very quickly not to do it again

Yeah yoni, who gives a fuck about what the op wants?!

Why is it Ok for the MN hegemony to make such irrelevant ad hominem attacks.

Said like a true MRA freak who once got a bit of a telling off from a feminist. And she might have looked at him a bit funny too.

The description of his behaviour makes me my skin crawl, I actually find it quite sinister. The thought of someone whispering in your ear over and over and over in the morning till you respond is hideous. You need to tell him very strongly to stop. Something like 'do not ever Ever whisper in my ear in the morning again. Do you understand? I hate it, and it wakes the baby up". My version would probably have a few expletives thrown in for good measure! How you have not seriously lost your temper with him is beyond me

Ah, give over, Men

You just want to be in my gang, dontcha

Come and sit by me, Men

Do you need a cuddle ? It's must be difficult to feel like such an outsider, treading a path all your own, forever trailing a blaze for the misunderstood

Anyfucker I might name change and post my current situation, not because I particularly need the advice but I'm interested in the arse kicking I'd get from you.

OP to many "I love yous" = not good

*too

I don't know what all this fuss is about really. It sounds like the OP feels she's grown apart from her husband since having a baby and that he, sensing this, has become increasingly needy and insecure. So far, so unsurprising. What the OP wants to do about this is up to her really. Is there a future in the relationship? Possibly not - but I don't see that this makes her husband an abuser. He does come across incredibly creepily from her posts but that's her perspective, not objective reality. If I posted when I was angry with my husband I could make him sound like a right twat too.

"He can't help himself and always has to whisper I love you before leaving. This 9/10 times wakes the baby"

And this is just odd. Every single morning, this guy stage-whispers "I love you" between 9/10 times until the baby wakes up? Every morning? Could it be that there's some small degree of exagerration going on here? And then to interpret this as some "Sleeping with the Enemy" style psychological abuse is a little bit, I dunno, mad.