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AIBU?

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Original poster

told to leave my 2 year son outside

340 replies

caz1987k · 09/11/2015 20:40

My health visitor can out to see me after my 2 year old son have a temperature and rash had a A&E visit over it she was saying you have to put cold water in the bath 1st or he will be burned and drown my son is not left in the bathroom alone she was very ignorant and was basically telling me how to safeguard my son in the bathroom my son has 3 different types of eczema and have had this since birth has been to see a skin specialist about this she was Intent on making me see a different specialist she even made appointments for me to see my GP my GP said my son does not need any skin specialist she left a voicemail on my phone for me to call her when I called her she was telling me I have to safeguard the outside of the property that I'm living in in this she told me I had to get a cage that attaches to my front door so my 2 year old son can go outside and play I was told buy her to leave my son unattended outside in a cage I would never leave my child unattended at any point been outside and is watching when in the bath has anyone got any advice on this matter as I'm not a stupid person that would leave a 2 year old in a cage outside but there are young mums out there that could possibly take notice to what thishealth visitor has told me

OP posts:
Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 21:53

I have a son that's 2, he had a temperature and a rash I took him to A&E, then 2 week's later I had a visit from a health visitor, she asked me was everything ok? and was asking about my son's visit to the A&E. and then out of the blue she was telling me that I have to put cold water in the bath 1st and that my son will get burned, my son has never been burned! he has 3 different types of eczema he has had it from birth, she then made appointments for my son at my gp's for my son to see a different skin specialist's!! that my son didn't need. when I went to the appointment she made for my son at the gp's he said my son doesn't need to see anyone else. she then left me a voicemail today without ringing my phone, and was telling me that she wanted me to get a cage /pen to attach to my front door and back door, which both have steps! so my son can go in and out on his own and I can sit in the house and don't have to go out with him, i live next to a shop there is different people going in and out of the shop all day anything could happen to my child, I am going to see her at the gp's tomorrow, I don't need nor want this hv at all around me as she's of no use to me, in one sense she's telling me to watch him in case he gets in a hot bath, and then saying more or less to leave him run outside in a pen type cage, he's two for gods sake and does climb! And the main road is about 20 meters away. Now I never would leave a door open especially with the weird people going around nowadays. What's my best option to get this woman away. I moved to a new area in the uk and have no social worker's involved in my life whatsoever. Sorry about last post, help much appreciated thanks

OP posts:
Pipbin · 09/11/2015 21:54

I'm not going to comment on the OP's punctuation but, use of paragraph's? I assume that apostrophe was a joke!!

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/11/2015 21:55

Well surely if you are struggling to correctly phrase things well enough to be understood, punctuation isn't going to be top of the list. especially when it can change the whole structure and meaning if a sentence with one mistake.

still it's rude and unnecessary to pick it apart.

Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 21:58

Some ppl are so ignorant spelling and punctuation is the last thing on my mind!!!!

Thanks very much to those that have been helpful Smile

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 09/11/2015 21:58

Ok, I think I get it, thanks Smile

It is normal practice to inform the GP practice and HV team of A+E attendances of under 5s, so don't read anything in to it.
Also, the advice to put cold water first in the bath, then hot, is well recognised in avoiding scalding accidents, particularly as toddlers get older.

It sounds to me like your HV and you simply don't 'gel' or that you feel she is condescending you? I wonder whether you could mention that to her? Or your GP and ask to see another HV? Or none??

Sorry, I'm still stumped about the cage… are you in the UK? Play pens can be really useful but at 2 your DS is a bit old I suppose.

hedgehogsdontbite · 09/11/2015 21:58

The best way to get her to leave you to get on with it is to smile and nod in agreement at everything she says. Then when she goes carry on doing things your way. Unless her suggestion is sound of course.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/11/2015 21:58

Make a formal complaint about this advice, it's absurd

luciole15 · 09/11/2015 22:00

You HV sounds like a silly old cow. Are you expecting her to come again? If not, ignore her and get on with being the good mum that you are and enjoy spending time with your DS.

What was your son's illness like that led to the A&E visit?

wickedlazy · 09/11/2015 22:00

Op could be used to writting in Arabic, Russian, or Chinese (is it called Mandaran?) etc which I know nothing about other than they use a very different sort of alphabet/script (right word?) and perhaps vastly different punctuation if any?

Waves like a psychopath at PaulAnkaTheDog and gets very green with envy over their username

wickedlazy · 09/11/2015 22:02

The best way to get her to leave you to get on with it is to smile and nod in agreement at everything she says.

^This.

hedgehogsdontbite · 09/11/2015 22:03

OP ignore the bitchy comments about your punctuation. If they don't understand what you've written then they're clearly not as smart as they think they are.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 09/11/2015 22:03

Caz what kind of pup does your son have, HVs can get very uptight about dogs and small children?

fastdaytears · 09/11/2015 22:04

Is there any way she might have been referring to the dog being in a crate when DS is running around outside?

Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 22:07

Pup is 4 months springer black and white my son loves it

OP posts:
musicinspring1 · 09/11/2015 22:08

Op - don't be anxious, you're not in trouble and a health visitor isn't a social worker, they are there.to advise. You don't have to carry out their suggestions (especially about a cage!) and if they ask why you haven't the reasons you stated here are valid, just tell them that.
The bath advice is just general safety advice and.they will just want to be sure.you are getting help.for the eczema, which you are.
What are you concerned about? That they will come back?

Limer · 09/11/2015 22:10

FFS cage is for the dog

Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 22:11

My son seen the GP before I took him to the hospital ,she said it was just a viral infection, but I took him to A&E because he was running a temperature of 39.9 with a rash

OP posts:
musicinspring1 · 09/11/2015 22:12

Cage for the dog is so obvious now you've said it! OP - must be that!

PacificDogwod · 09/11/2015 22:13

Oh, a crate for the dog is a wonderful thing!
Make the dog love the crate, make it his refuge when he needs to get away from it all, lots of cosy blankets and regular treats thrown in to it - It can reduce stress levels to keep dog and child apart at times.

I really think you need to either a. ignore her or b. speak some more to her because all sorts of wires are crossed here I think.

TurnWifiOn · 09/11/2015 22:16

So cage is for dog? What advice have you been given for child that has upset you so?

Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 22:16

No she said it was to put my son in, so I can sit in the house and he can play out without me, I asked her was if for the dog I was in shock I don't put the dog in a cage never mind my child I was going to record her when I go to see her will I get in trouble if I do that ? I wanted to get something done about what she wants me to do

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/11/2015 22:17

OP I really think you have misunderstood what she said. There is no way that a health visitor would tell you to put your child in a CAGE. It simply would not happen.

Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 22:18

My son means the world to me i never leave him alone

OP posts:
Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 22:20

If I get the recording I'm talking it to the papers as god is my witness for now the recording will prove what she said

OP posts:
SilentlyScreamingAgain · 09/11/2015 22:21

If you're totally sure th HV told you to leave your son in the front garden, unattended, then you need to report her because that's insane. However, if there is any chance she was suggesting a crate for some separation between the dog and the child that's less mad but you still don't have to take any notice of her.

Best of luck with the springer and the toddler, you're a braver woman than me.