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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

told to leave my 2 year son outside

340 replies

caz1987k · 09/11/2015 20:40

My health visitor can out to see me after my 2 year old son have a temperature and rash had a A&E visit over it she was saying you have to put cold water in the bath 1st or he will be burned and drown my son is not left in the bathroom alone she was very ignorant and was basically telling me how to safeguard my son in the bathroom my son has 3 different types of eczema and have had this since birth has been to see a skin specialist about this she was Intent on making me see a different specialist she even made appointments for me to see my GP my GP said my son does not need any skin specialist she left a voicemail on my phone for me to call her when I called her she was telling me I have to safeguard the outside of the property that I'm living in in this she told me I had to get a cage that attaches to my front door so my 2 year old son can go outside and play I was told buy her to leave my son unattended outside in a cage I would never leave my child unattended at any point been outside and is watching when in the bath has anyone got any advice on this matter as I'm not a stupid person that would leave a 2 year old in a cage outside but there are young mums out there that could possibly take notice to what thishealth visitor has told me

OP posts:
GloGirl · 09/11/2015 20:51

Your son had a rash and went to A&E. A Health Visitor called round after your A&E visit and talked about how to make your home more safe.

Is that right? The A&E doctors must have raised some safeguarding concerns.

The bit about the cage is, Umm, odd. Does your child get to play outside? Confused

BrendaFlange · 09/11/2015 20:52

When did MN get like this? Behave yourselves.

OP - your health visitor is there to support you and advise you. Yours sounds downright interfering.

Tell her what you have done about all these issues - explain about the eczema and that he has seen a skin specialist.

tell her clearly that you would never leave your child alone in the bath and always check the temperature.

Has she been trying to get you to make your house toddler-safe? Does you door or garden open directly into the street? If he went out of your door into the garden could he get into the street? If so maybe she is suggesting a stairgate?

Just explain to her clearly and ask if she thinks there is anything wrong or she has any concerns and ask her why.

And no - don't leave your toddler out in the garden on a cage, though I am sure many of us have felt like it at times!

JoySzasz · 09/11/2015 20:52

It is obvious that English is not ops first language.
Hopefully she will come back and elaborate a bit more.

hedgehogsdontbite · 09/11/2015 20:52

I think she means one of those playpen/barrier thingies which you can attach to the door so your child has a safe outside place to play.

JoySzasz · 09/11/2015 20:53

Children in the 30's had cages that fitted outside the window.
I doubt they are getting a revival.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/11/2015 20:54

Does your child get to play outside?

I imagine the Hv was trying to help you, but wires have got crossed somewhere.

scatterthenuns · 09/11/2015 20:55

I want a husband cage. At least I could then contain the mess he makes.

Goingtobeawesome · 09/11/2015 20:55

It is obvious what the OP has said, even without full stops.

Tell the GP of your concerns about the HV advice and ignore.

Original poster
caz1987k · 09/11/2015 20:56

I will start again

OP posts:
Senpai · 09/11/2015 20:56

In any case, children must always be supervised when outside. There's all sorts of choking hazards and things they can stick in their mouths. So that was bad advice.

If he's 2 and his eczema hasn't cleared up, he might need a different specialist as the current treatment isn't working. He might need some stronger medications, or he might be too little for much more than what you're currently using.

coconutpie · 09/11/2015 20:57

Shizzy Grin

Pidapie · 09/11/2015 20:57

Sorry, but your post makes no sense.

Damselindestress · 09/11/2015 20:57

I agree it sounds like she is talking about attaching a barrier to the door so if your son were unattended he could not wander off, rather than suggesting leaving him outside in a cage. There has clearly been some misunderstanding. However it doesn't sound like her communication style is helpful, particularly insisting on appointments your GP doesn't think your son needs and being patronising by implying you would leave your son alone. Remember her advice is only recommendations.

AIN · 09/11/2015 20:57

Please don't ridicule the OP for lack of punctuation. Sometimes people who struggle with this often need help and are put off by their English skills, so don't end up getting it.

fastdaytears · 09/11/2015 20:57

It's not obvious to me! Well I was ok until the toddler cage. That's pretty bizarre, though not a punctuation issue as far as I can see.

bearhug · 09/11/2015 20:57

Wow sometimes people on mumsnet are really unkind.

I am sorry your health visitor upset you. She probably didn't mean to though. Putting cold water in the bath first is not bad advice. We all like to think we will supervise our children all the time, but in reality even the best parents can get distracted and accidents do happen.

I am confused about the cage though. Playing outside is great for kids, but there needs to be something to stop a 2 year old from running onto the road. Even when you are supervising.

Footle · 09/11/2015 21:00

OP, there are some bullies here. Please do try again.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/11/2015 21:00

I'm sorry, are you saying that your health visitor told you to put your child outside in a CAGE? Are you sure she didn't suggest a playpen?

Intradental · 09/11/2015 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frusso · 09/11/2015 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Senpai · 09/11/2015 21:01

Playing outside is great for kids, but there needs to be something to stop a 2 year old from running onto the road.

Yeah, it's called you, their guardian. Wink

My yard isn't fenced in. DD has yet to run out into the road. She has made a break for it, but 2 year olds aren't so fast that you can't easily catch them.

MaidOfStars · 09/11/2015 21:01

OK. You,took your son to A&E with a temperature and a rash, after whcih you had a health visitor check up on you. She told you:

  1. To top up the bath with cold water so it's not too hot for your son (did A&E suggest his rash might be burns?).
  2. To not leave son unattended in the bath (that's probably just a standard piece of advice they give out without really thinking about it).
  3. To buy a play pen thing so your son could be safely left outside an open back door while you are in the kitchen (for example).

Why did the A&E visit flag up a health visitor check? They must have safeguarding concerns?

ghostyslovesheep · 09/11/2015 21:03

My health visitor after my child went to A+E with a temp

she gave me basic advice about running a bath - as most HV's give first time parents

My son has Eczema - she gave me some advice about it but it wasn't very good and the GP dismissed it

she told me to put my son in a cage.

Has anyone got any advice on this matter as I'm not a stupid person that would leave a 2 year old in a cage outside but there are young mums out there that could possibly take notice to what thishealth visitor has told me

musicinspring1 · 09/11/2015 21:05

Surely a heat rash/scald looks different to bad eczema? Did the health visitor know you are already being seen for the eczema?