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AIBU?

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Original poster

told to leave my 2 year son outside

340 replies

caz1987k · 09/11/2015 20:40

My health visitor can out to see me after my 2 year old son have a temperature and rash had a A&E visit over it she was saying you have to put cold water in the bath 1st or he will be burned and drown my son is not left in the bathroom alone she was very ignorant and was basically telling me how to safeguard my son in the bathroom my son has 3 different types of eczema and have had this since birth has been to see a skin specialist about this she was Intent on making me see a different specialist she even made appointments for me to see my GP my GP said my son does not need any skin specialist she left a voicemail on my phone for me to call her when I called her she was telling me I have to safeguard the outside of the property that I'm living in in this she told me I had to get a cage that attaches to my front door so my 2 year old son can go outside and play I was told buy her to leave my son unattended outside in a cage I would never leave my child unattended at any point been outside and is watching when in the bath has anyone got any advice on this matter as I'm not a stupid person that would leave a 2 year old in a cage outside but there are young mums out there that could possibly take notice to what thishealth visitor has told me

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 09/11/2015 22:21

Well it's all odd because a crate for the dog would be great especially with an enthusiastic toddler following him around. But if you're sure that's not what she meant then back to the mystery.

AliceInUnderpants · 09/11/2015 22:21

Are we right in assuming that English isn't your first language? Is there a language barrier between you and the HV?

It is likely she was telling you that it would be safe enough to have your son play in the garden, if there were some sort of barrier?

Frusso · 09/11/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 09/11/2015 22:22

picking up on peoples' use of paragraph's or otherwise is a bit 'not in the spirit'

What about apostrophes? Wink

Agree with the other comments on smiling, nodding and ignoring. That goes for the HV and some of the comments about punctuation and paragraphs on this thread.

fastdaytears · 09/11/2015 22:22

Best of luck with the springer and the toddler, you're a braver woman than me this 100,000%!

BondJayneBond · 09/11/2015 22:22

The comment about the cage / playpen would make more sense if the HV meant for you to put the dog in the cage.

A 2 yr old's getting to the age and size where they'll soon be able to climb out by themselves, especially if there's toys in there that they can use as steps. DS2 could get out of a playpen using a toy as a step up before he was 2. And obviously an unsupervised 2 yr old climbing out of a playpen into the garden / street while parents are inside the house could be a major safety issue.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/11/2015 22:24

OP you really need to answer the many posters who have asked about english being your first language. It really is relevant.

BrendaFlange · 09/11/2015 22:24

Caz, you don't have to see the health Visitor, it isn't compulsory.

As others say, if you take your child to A&E they often follow up to make sure everything is OK.

Just keep seeing the GP for your child's eczema, and keep looking after your child as you are doing.

Whatever she means about the 'cage' - ignore it. Make sure your child does not go out of the door (as you are doing).

BondJayneBond · 09/11/2015 22:25

If the HV really meant that you should leave your son alone in the garden in a playpen, then that's really bad advice. Especially in the front garden where he could access the road if he climbs out.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 09/11/2015 22:25

Na no way would a health visitor tell you to put your two your old in a cage outside.

BertieBotts · 09/11/2015 22:26

Lots of people use cages for dogs, it's not to keep them in all the time, it's a safe place for them to retreat, calm down and sleep. Look up Crate Training. It honestly isn't a cruel thing. The dog feels happy because it has a safe space and you don't have to worry about potential accidents. Obviously when you're around, then you don't need to put the dog away, but it can be useful if the child or dog is getting too overexcited to have a place to contain the dog. You acclimatise the dog slowly so it isn't frightened of the cage/crate and you don't use it as a punishment.

Mulligrubs · 09/11/2015 22:26

It was the mention of the cage that threw me when I read the first post. I think maybe there was a misunderstanding because I really don't believe any HV would advise a cage for a child. For the dog, maybe or a playpen for a child maybe. Seems there has been crossed wires here.

catdoodles · 09/11/2015 22:27

Is your HV implying in a passive aggressive way that some of his excema could be from being scalded in a hot bath?

The cage idea sounds medieval unless your home is maybe very cluttered and / or very very small.

BrendaFlange · 09/11/2015 22:28

Did she mean a play pen, like this? play pen No-one would leave a child out unattended in one of those, especially not a walking climbing toddler and in November!

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 09/11/2015 22:29

I heard my sister's HV announce that my niece might have had 'a little bleed in the brain' based on nothing other than her being a bit late on some milestones. Some of them can say quite mad (and very distressing) things.

luciole15 · 09/11/2015 22:29

I guess there are some crossed wires with a&e referring to HV. If she does come back, smile and nod as PPs have said. Although you prob feel like complaining I doubt it will do any good.

My HV told a friend never to leave the baby unattended on the high changing table 'as they can roll off when you're not looking'. Hmm No shit Sherlock!

Keeping the puppy and DS both safe at same time, whether with a playpen or whatever could be a good idea. Puppies go through a nippy stage. But then so do some children!

Lots of HVs are so crap these days. Sad.

Chippednailvarnish · 09/11/2015 22:29

If I get the recording I'm talking it to the papers as god is my witness for now the recording will prove what she said

Great a Daily Mail sadface, how helpful.
Anyone else starting to feel sorry for the HV?

catdoodles · 09/11/2015 22:29

And even then it's bizarre

PacificDogwod · 09/11/2015 22:30

A recording? What recording, OP? Confused

I think anything that can be said, has been said on this thread.
Over and out.

TheSpectreOfMorningtonCrescent · 09/11/2015 22:31

These cages, do they come in teenager size as well as dh size?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/11/2015 22:32

Chipped yup. I highly doubt a HV is going to recommend caging a baby but the OP is so determined she is correct that she is going to go to the press. Never mind the fact she could be wrong and damage someones reputation. I really hope she is 100% on everything before she does anything. She also really does need to clarify the language thing in case it has been a miscommunication.

tanukiton · 09/11/2015 22:33

caz good luck with the health visitor just nod at her suggestions.

You don't 'have to' put cold water in the bath first, but it is advisable. When you give it a good swish with your hand sometimes there can be a bit of a hot or cold layer right? that is what they are worried about.

My children both have eczema since birth and the number of 'helpful' suggestions could make you scream!! Really what works for them is steroid creams, antihistomines, mositurizer and lots of sleep. So pretty impossible when they were babies.

As to going outside ,well yes sunshine and fresh air is great, but really? the UK in NOV???Tell her you go out to the shops by foot Even going in the buggy to the shops counts as her fresh air tick box.
Also, as a side note,a strong wind and cold air can make my daughters eczema worse, as can getting to hot and sweaty. So a barrier of cream might help in NOV against the cold air.

My son is a climber (his dad rock climbs so might be a bit of DNA) no way would I have put him in a pen/ caged area by him self. He is four now and can climb a standard link fence as high as he likes(and yes if i see him I tell him to stop)..
Good luck and pop over to the eczema boards.

I would say try to listen to the HV there might me a bit of wisdom in there. Remember they are dealing with children in general.

I would take your boy to the shop with the cage/pens watch how much he hates it or see how expensive/impractical they are and then tell her thankyou for the suggestion but the pens are unsuitable for your family, but will try and get out more if she thinks that will help ( then snuggle under the blanket and watch cbeebies).
It is her job to give advise, it is your job to listen and smile, and use the relevant info that might be useful to your family. At the end of the day the advice comes from a good place and she is trying to be helpful. This can be anything from , useful, impractical, irritating and sometimes soul destroying.

AwakeCantSleep · 09/11/2015 22:34

Could it have been (misplaced) irony on the part of the HV? She suggested OP get a cage, OP asks "For my child???", HV replies "Yeah, he'll be very safe in there!", and rolls eyes. Which would be incredibly unprofessional and rude on the part of the HV, but it's the only way I can make sense of this.

fastdaytears · 09/11/2015 22:35

Sorry you recorded her?

AliceInUnderpants · 09/11/2015 22:36

As to going outside ,well yes sunshine and fresh air is great, but really? the UK in NOV???

Do we not get fresh air in the UK in November? Confused