told to leave my 2 year son outside

[caz1987k]

My health visitor can out to see me after my 2 year old son have a temperature and rash had a A&E visit over it she was saying you have to put cold water in the bath 1st or he will be burned and drown my son is not left in the bathroom alone she was very ignorant and was basically telling me how to safeguard my son in the bathroom my son has 3 different types of eczema and have had this since birth has been to see a skin specialist about this she was Intent on making me see a different specialist she even made appointments for me to see my GP my GP said my son does not need any skin specialist she left a voicemail on my phone for me to call her when I called her she was telling me I have to safeguard the outside of the property that I'm living in in this she told me I had to get a cage that attaches to my front door so my 2 year old son can go outside and play I was told buy her to leave my son unattended outside in a cage I would never leave my child unattended at any point been outside and is watching when in the bath has anyone got any advice on this matter as I'm not a stupid person that would leave a 2 year old in a cage outside but there are young mums out there that could possibly take notice to what thishealth visitor has told me

As crazy as all this sounds the OP has said repeatedly that the hv said several times 'a cage that goes around your front and back door to allow the child to go outside alone' and in that case it's the very opposite of a safety gate, since that would be to keep them in. And a playpen sounds like bad advice for a two year old, since by that time they can climb out if they choose to.

If an actual hv did really say this, the most intriguing thing of all is where on earth did she expect the OP to actually buy this cage? They're not in the Argos catalogue...

Oh, MTPurse of course, I didn't think of it that way. That makes sense actually. Bring the fresh air in, not the child to the fresh air?

I had a bonkers HV. I am quite prepared to believe that there is another bonkers HV out there.
I am fascinated to know what she said and I am dying to hear about the cage. Do ask her where to get one!

If you make any effort at all to read the OP, it is clear that the HV has been hectoring and patronising - piling on lots of basic and irrelevant advice with the clear implication that the mother isn't capable, and is perhaps responsible for the child's eczema. Then she confounded this by deciding to interfere in the medical processes that are already in place around the eczema. So far, so interfering. NOW there is something about a CAGE which at the very least, she has completely failed to communicate in a way which makes any kind of sense; and at the worst is a piece of completely insane advice.

I am dying to understand more about this cage thing.
OP, do you have anyone you could take with you when you see the HV next? Just another pair of eyes / ears who could help you navigate all this?

When you took your child to A and E with a temperature, what was the cause of the temperature - was it just a normal virus type thing?

Of course, as other posters have said, you don't need to engage with the HV if you don't want to.

'a cage that goes around your front and back door to allow the child to go outside alone'

A fence?

Posters here are very quick to point to an insane HV. We don't know anything at all about the op. She took her child to A&E which triggered a visit which is not automatic. It is automatic for a referral slip to be filled in, so only if there were concerns would a visit be made.

So she visits and makes some recommendations. None of us know anything about the op and her standards of care. They may be fabulous or they may not be. Almost anyone who has a child with bad eczema will welcome sensible advice on relieving it. Advice on bathing was triggered by something...nobody just says about hot/ cold water and safety for no reason.

Just because someone posts on here feeling aggrieved it doesn't necessarily mean that she is right and the HV is mad. Quite the contrary in some cases. It may be that she is well known to the HV service....

Obviously this is all conjecture and no offence is meant to the OP, I'm just pointing out that nobody has heard the other side of the story and in the instance of child safety we might do well to remember that.

OP like lockthetaskbar as wierd as your HV sounds I am inclined to believe you. That she did recommend a cage.

Not sure why you are getting blasted regarding your grammar or punctuation. You are clearly very stressed out about all this and are just writing your thoughts down very quickly.

Your initial post was very confusing to read so yes paragraphs and spacing would of course help but that's no reason to attack you.

How old are you OP and how old approx is your HV if you don't mind me asking.

Matilda, I know we don't know what happened here but I am trying to redress the balance which is that people are attacking the OP for less than perfect articulacy and then discrediting everything she says on this basis.

I am concerned that this might be happening in real life too?

Does OP need some support in establishing her credibility?

This is why I am also asking if there is someone she could have with her at the next meeting.

Why are posters so willing to believe every single thing a poster says? Which is actually more logical and likely, that a HV turns up out of the blue, and with some kind of advice tourettes, starts giving unprompted advice to buy products that don't exist..or,OP, who clearly isn't the strongest st effective communication, misunderstood or is exaggerating?

Why are posters so willing to believe every single thing a poster says?

There would be absolutely no point in replying to anything on the assumption that the OP was lying/confused/making stuff up.

This isn't one of them but I've read a few threads where I have thought that the events suggested by the poster were unlikely, so I haven't bothered saying anything at all. If you are going to start to extrapolate that the OP's child might, in fact, be a cat and her house might be a cardboard box and her husband might be her mother why would you want to give it any head space at all?

Having said that, the worst that's happened here is that a few anonymous posters have dismissed the advice given and agreed that they've encountered odd HVs, no one has arrested the HV and sent her off to an uninhabited island to punish her for the error of her ways.

Been to see hv and she apologised for saying cage. That she meant playpen attached to front door area for next year! And now is off my case. End of the matter as I simply said I won't be putting my son in a cage. Thanks to those that helped and the others who condemned me for my lack of punctuation, please take a look at your own lives first. Like they say let he without sin cast the first stone......

Frusso Referring to having crap spouted at you, right after "diarrhoea" made me feel a bit queasy.

Glad to hear that the misunderstanding has been cleared up.

I'd ignore her playpen idea though, as your son will probably be capable of climbing out of one by the time we're into warmer weather.

wow I am gobsmacked at some of the mean and hurtful things that are being posted on here just because some people don't understand what has been posted.....I got 2 pages in before there was actually one post offering some help. I do not understand what the problem is, I understood the post.

OP, I think a lot of health visitors are so "by the book" the forget that most parents actual have a maternal instinct and some common sense. Telling you not to leave him the bath is patronising, of course you wouldn't leave your child in the bath.

Maybe HV didn't realise you are already treating the eczema? although she should have read up on her notes before visiting you.

as for the cage it is a bit bizarre, maybe it is something large that covers the entire front door a bit like an animal run but for bigger, that's what im picturing anyway, sunlight does help eczema, but it does seem a bit drastic.

Sorry you have had endure some very rude comments.

She might be trying to help you deal with his eczema - like less baths, ensuring the temp is not too hot, a bit more sunshine (in this weather?!) - that sort of thing. Sounds like the message got confused in the way she delivered it to you - like she was questioning bathtime routine and encouraging a 'cage'. Glad you found out what she meant about the cage - a playpen by the front or back door to encourage more access to sunshine maybe?

Don't be afraid to question HVs when they discuss things with you. Be open to suggestions and discuss what they mean at the time. They are meant to be helpful and explain stuff to you. I've asked some questions that might sound stupid to others but the HV was happy to answer them until I understood what she meant.

Your post is understandable to me. Yes, advice is to put hot water into the bath after cold to avoid accidents. I have a mixer tap so haven't thought about it much. Surely if both taps are running at the same time and your child is well out of the way it's not an issue...use common sense.

As to the cage thing...what prompted her to say it? I mean, it's obviously utterly ridiculous but is she concerned your child is playing out alone, or not getting enough fresh air?

With HVs, I think just smile and nod at well meaning advice unless there's a genuine issue. But you could ask to speak to her supervisor?

This is not because there are any safeguarding concerns, it's standard for each and every child and each and every admittance

thats useful to know thanbks

matilda I agree.

Its odd that op took the HV so literally as well, as if - any HV would literally want a child caged.

Op how could you think that?

why did she want the child outside anyway....

LimboNovember your guess is a good as mine as to why she even mentioned cage.
But like I said in my previous comment above ^^. The hv said the word cage.my son's eczema is not flared up and in fact it's doing quiet well with his creams and baths.

Also cage/playpen which I would call them a playpen is of no use inside to my son as he was climbing out of his cot at 1/half yr old. But my son is no animal as I told the hv so he won't be put in any cage/playpen to keep her happy!

I don't think she would be suggesting you put him in it to keep her happy. You don't have to keep a HV happy. She was probably suggesting something that ske misguidedly thought might help you.
What was the context? Did she just completely out of the blue say 'put your son in a cage' or was it part of a wider conversation about him getting more sun/more fresh air? Just trying to understand where he suggestion came from and what she meant by it.

but op, if somene came to my house and asked this - and I would by the way assume she was talking about someone sort of play pen....even if she used the word cage I would....

ASK WHY she has apologised for using the word cage but you are still in the dark as to why it was mentioned in the first place?

simply ask why.,

First of all I need to express my disgust at some of the nasty posts regarding punctuation. What a bunch of spiteful utter wankers.
Secondly OP playpens can be a good thing, why not give one a go, see how you get on, you don't have to use it all the time and it's helpful storage for toys. Regarding your dcs exczema, if you are coping fine with it then don't give the health visitors comments another thought.

Lol, so all posters correct, hv was talking about playpen. Op wrong, no cage in sight. But still admonishes every other poster for spouting crap. Righty ho.

I actually don't believe for a second the HV suggested putting a 3yo in a playpen next year, but I suppose it was the most plausible of ends to the thread, and we must all get over the tragic fact that there will be no daily mail sad face to admire in the media. Our loss.

Nobody puts baby in the cage corner. Indeed.

To me......

It sounds like the doctors suspected scalding.

Sent health visitor out.

To zealous op adamant about excema.

Raised additional concerns as to baby not receiving enough fresh air.

Referred baby to gp immediately for second opinion.

Then op just went what can only be described as APESHIT.

In more ways than one.