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AIBU?

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Original poster

told to leave my 2 year son outside

340 replies

caz1987k · 09/11/2015 20:40

My health visitor can out to see me after my 2 year old son have a temperature and rash had a A&E visit over it she was saying you have to put cold water in the bath 1st or he will be burned and drown my son is not left in the bathroom alone she was very ignorant and was basically telling me how to safeguard my son in the bathroom my son has 3 different types of eczema and have had this since birth has been to see a skin specialist about this she was Intent on making me see a different specialist she even made appointments for me to see my GP my GP said my son does not need any skin specialist she left a voicemail on my phone for me to call her when I called her she was telling me I have to safeguard the outside of the property that I'm living in in this she told me I had to get a cage that attaches to my front door so my 2 year old son can go outside and play I was told buy her to leave my son unattended outside in a cage I would never leave my child unattended at any point been outside and is watching when in the bath has anyone got any advice on this matter as I'm not a stupid person that would leave a 2 year old in a cage outside but there are young mums out there that could possibly take notice to what thishealth visitor has told me

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 10/11/2015 01:42

There are (at least here) baby 'fences' that I guess could be set up at a doorway. They come in sections that hook together and normally you set it up on the grass as a square or octagon. I suppose you could configure it with 3 sides and attach it to an open doorway. I wonder if that's what she meant.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it's just a miscommunication that will be straightened out when you speak to her.

steff13 · 10/11/2015 01:56

Ok, my best friend (who lives in Ohio, like me), has a Facebook friend who lives in another country. I don't remember which one, I will ask and see if she remembers. Anyway, this woman showed my friend a picture of something that they use for their babies when they're outdoors. It looked to me like a giant rabbit hutch. Definitely a "baby cage."

I don't understand why the Health Visitor woman was so keen that the baby be outside without the OP? It seems like the purpose of whatever this cage thing is, is to allow the baby to go outside whilst the OP stays inside. Why does she think you don't want to be outside with the baby, OP?

Garlick · 10/11/2015 02:10

There are some insane health visitors around. Not many, thank god, but they exist. The correct thing to do is report them, caz, as you plan to do.

It sometimes seems to me that posters who can't read a short text unless it's well spaced with paragraphs and appropriate punctuation must either be compromised in the intellect department or suffer a learning difficulty.

steff13 · 10/11/2015 02:15

The woman is from the Czech Republic, and this is the thing.

told to leave my 2 year son outside
SofiaAmes · 10/11/2015 02:20

OP, my health visitor suggested all sorts of inane things. Just ignore. She's not social services and you don't have to see her if you prefer not to. Just try to politely tell her so, as it's not wise to get anyone mad.

With regard to the eczema, my dd had very bad eczema when she was little. I found that sunshine definitely helps, although in my case, I was visiting my family in California several times a year and each time her eczema would get better and then as soon as we got back to the uk, it would get worse. Take your ds to the park as much as you can and expose what you can of his skin to the sunshine. I know it's not easy in the uk with the lousy weather. I also found that hydrocortisone helped with the eczema. If it's possible to get a filter for the bath, filter the water that you are bathing him in, as sometimes the high mineral content could be irritating his skin. Some kids with eczema need more bathing and some need less. My dd needed less, but it was important to keep the folds of her very fat little body clean in between baths. Also, make sure your ds is getting all the vitamins he needs (especially Vitamin D).
Back to the punctuation. It helps people to have a little punctuation, so that they understand your full meaning....a good rule of thumb is if when you are speaking you need to take a breath, then put a period (and always capitalize the first letter after a period) and if you are just pausing, put a comma.

Best of luck with your son. It will get better. My dd grew out of her eczema by the time she was 3 or 4.

tanukiton · 10/11/2015 02:25

BrideOfWankenstein; Japanese does have punctuation and paragrahs

derxa · 10/11/2015 02:27

sofia You are lovely. caz Hope you were able to sort this out.

BalaRua · 10/11/2015 02:36

Did she say a gate across the doors so baby can't get out on its own maybe?

steff13 · 10/11/2015 02:41

Oh, and bleach baths for eczema. 1/4 C bleach in a full tub, soak for 30 minutes. I did this with my daughter when she was little, and it worked like a charm.

WanderingTrolley1 · 10/11/2015 04:33

I'm guessing she used the word "cage" meaning playpen.

We called our playpen a cage or crate.

NerrSnerr · 10/11/2015 05:27

You just need to clarify what she meant when you see her. I wonder if she meant playpen.

Did she think you were particularly tired or stressed and that's why she was looking for ways for him to play while you sat?

hedgehogsdontbite · 10/11/2015 05:57

Show me a language, please, that does not use paragraphs or punctuation. Any language will do.

Sansrikt.

puglife · 10/11/2015 06:36

Are you sure she didn't mean a safety gate? They attach to the door and would allow for you to have the door open and get a bit of air into the house.
I really don't think any hv would go around recommending a cage for a child. If she did and you get her to clarify, perhaps with pictures of what she means, then you would be wise to report to her manager at the very least.

VocationalGoat · 10/11/2015 06:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IguanaTail · 10/11/2015 06:51

I think the point the HV made about putting the cold water in the bath first and then adding the hot is good. This is basic, even if you don't leave your child for a second.

The eczema sounds bad, could a GP appointment do any harm?

Cage sounds bizarre and unworkable anyway if you have steps. This needs clarification.

I don't think your post reads as if you have English as a second language, but then I'm a teacher so I'm used to deciphering far far more interesting versions! Hope all goes well with the HV today. Don't record her - that won't end well. If she goes on about the cage just "smile and nod" and then ask for a new HV.

winchester1 · 10/11/2015 07:00

This helps you in no way OP but I had this exact misunderstanding with my hv. I was very badly trying to ask where I could get a playpen or fencing for outside and she brought round a catalogue of animal cages. I'm not sure what worried me more the misunderstanding or that she thought this was perfectly reasonable idea!

Good luck today.

twofingerstoGideon · 10/11/2015 07:17

Never did me any harm...

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/11/2015 07:21

It sometimes seems to me that posters who can't read a short text unless it's well spaced with paragraphs and appropriate punctuation must either be compromised in the intellect department or suffer a learning difficulty.

Shock

Completely inappropriate thing to say.

pudcat · 10/11/2015 07:36

Take someone with you today so that they can be a witness to what she says.

Leelu6 · 10/11/2015 07:49

I don't think your post reads as if you have English as a second language

Agree. Do update us today, OP.

ghostspirit · 10/11/2015 07:55

some people dont know to use punctuation or grammar. due to maybe dyslexia. if it was someone who had a child who did not know how to use punctuation/grammar people would not be making comments... but soon as its an adult its fair game... nice.

The HV sounds like shes a bit over the top and making assumptions. as long as you know your doing the right thing then carry on as you are. just smile at the hv and nod. or tell her you dont want to see her and if you have any worrys you will visit the clinic or gp.

CoteDAzur · 10/11/2015 07:57

"It sometimes seems to me that posters who can't read a short text unless it's well spaced with paragraphs and appropriate punctuation must either be compromised in the intellect department or suffer a learning difficulty."

Of course. As is plain to all, the one with intellectual shortcomings is not the author of such illegible text but the reader who refuses to suffer it Hmm

Limer · 10/11/2015 07:59

Take someone with you today so that they can be a witness to what she says.

Good idea, don't rely on God being your witness this time.

MTPurse · 10/11/2015 08:11

Are you sure she didn't mean Gate on front and back door? So you can leave the doors open and your ds gets fresh air but can not get out or fall down the steps Confused

Enjolrass · 10/11/2015 08:23

Just have it clarified.

The bath and the appointment actually sounds reasonable.

The cage is probably a misunderstanding.

Also do not record her without telling her you are doing so.

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