Has anyone's dh done less than mine today?? surely not

[Candleabras]

Today he has, dug potatoes and carrots for 5 people out of the garden, washed peeled and chopped them (for tomorrows tea), been to visit his mother, cooked tonight's tea and washed up (I prepared it) and will walk the dog at 9 tonight

Actually, writing it down it looks ok, but he will have spent about 7 hours watching tv by the time he goes to bed tonight, that's what pisses me off

AIBU?

Mine has been very busy, been out on his boat, installed a new switch on the front door, then did loads of digging, bit of planting, looking after his chickens, even now this late at night, its been hours and hours...

...of MINECRAFT' all on Minecraft!!!

In the real world he put some oven chips in.

So he can do rewiring, but you can't?

Half of the things you've done today haven't exactly been taxing-I wouldn't count walking the dogs, eating porridge, reading the paper, watching Strictly or taking the dog for a second walk as particularly hard going. It sounds like you want to lounge around doing your own thing whilst DH works his socks off.

Do you work full time?

My dh has:
Got up at 6 and gone to work til 10
Came home and made me a cup of tea (still in bed)
Made the dc x2 bacon sandwiches for breakfast
Mucked out 3 horses (I did one)
Did the food shopping (with me)
Unpacked food shopping
Made everyone lunch
Watched TV and played with the kids this afternoon
Washed both our cars
Made dinner
Showered the DC
Stroked my feet all evening while watching Downton

I have
Made quite a few cups of tea
Cleaned the hob
Put a wash on
Did the shopping (with him) and unpacked it
Bought a jacket online
Twatted about on MN
Watched TV and played with the dc
Got the horses in again
Did homework with the DC
Helped dc into pj's
Read a bedtime story.

My dh has done waaaaay more than me today, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Think you need to sit down with your dh OP and work out what it is you want and expect, and what he wants and expects.

I don't think reading the paper, eating porridge he made, watching strictly, or walking the dog count as chores.

And ffs, 18years? Seriously?

jade

Apologies, I've just read your most recent post. He can't do rewiring, but can plaster, paint and hang wallpaper.

You can't though, I presume...?

Yes, but there's no point in doing any plastering, painting and wallpaper hanging until the rewiring has been done.

I'm with you OP.

I need my husband to landscape our garden, plumb in two ensuites, build some kitchen cupboards and reroof the house. He is trying to refuse on the grounds that he is neither a qualified plumber, gardener, carpenter or roofer. (He is a surgeon, admittedly with a fairly hefty workload.). How pathetic is that? How am I ever going to acquire a presentable dwelling? Some men are just so selfish and lazy...

I have no DH - so I'm pretty sure mine did less than yours

Kew- Mine is dead! Hand on heart, he has done nothing around the house since the funeral! #winsthread

*disclaimer-I'm tipsy-but its true

All these pathetic excuses for husbands being inactive...

My DP did his apprenticeship as an electrician, and qualified way back when, but he now works as a test engineer. Even he wouldn't rewire a house completely - yes, he would do the diagrams of where we wanted sockets, etc and run cable, ready for a certified electrician to connect.

He's waited on me today as I've managed to inflame both Achilles tendons and I'm struggling to walk, and he's watched lots of football, but I do wish he'd taken the dog for a quick walk around the block, and double checked the garage for me. I'm trying to find my sheepskin boots (not Uggs, BTW) so that I don't have to have anything touching the backs of my legs. We still haven't fully unpacked after moving 2.5 years ago.

I got in at 1.15am from a 12hr shift and tutted that there was a bit of washing up in the sink. I now feel guilty about that because DP:

Made me tea and toast breakfast
Ironed my uniform
Made me a packed lunch and tea which was delicious
Did all the washing (bloody tonnes of)
Did his teaching planning for next week
Wrote year 8's reports
Looked after needy dog and put the chickens to bed
Left me enough fire to be warm when I got home.

He's ACE

If the decorating can't be done until the rewiring, I still don't see the issue.

Is the problem that you can't afford the rewiring, because he works part time?

Do you work? How have you not managed to save for it in 18 years if it's so important?

I had no idea how to decorate when I got my first house. I just cracked on and got better.

If it's getting you down you need talk to him about how you are going get the money for rewiring. Have you had a quote? Do you know how much it will cost?

Is it worth looking at a remortgage?

Bin your DH, marry an electrician.

Unless you need some accounts doing, in which case don't tell your DH about the electrician.

My ex used to get up at 11, get ready and go to the pub at 1 with his mates. He would roll in about 8, eat and go to bed! Every weekend and with 2 kids!

So the issue isn't that he hasn't jumped up and redecorated the house over the weekend - it's that you can't afford to have the house rewired so that the decorating can be done.

So that's what you need to look at. Do you work? If not, could you look into getting a job and using the money to save for the decorating? If you have teenagers then you wouldn't be paying for childcare.

Have you sat down and gone through the finances with a view to saving the relevant amount? Is there more work available for him or does he run his own business and only have limited work coming in?

There's no point deflecting your annoyance onto him not doing something that he couldn't possibly have done anyway! Deal with the actual problem.

Do you earn money, op?

OP you come across as a bit demanding, for want of a better word.

I would say 'demanding' is fairly diplomatic

Op clearly wants to be a laydee of leisure. Porridge eating is incredibly taxing, dontcha know.

Op, you've conflicted throughout the thread.
You have said you need a professional to rewire (correct), you have said there's no point redecorating till it's been rewired (correct), and them you've said you just want it touched up, there's paper hanging off the walls, and it's embarrassing.
What are you doing right now op? Kids are at school. Are you mning? Why not touch up the decorating?

Maybe walk the dog for an hour instead of three and use the other two hours to do some wallpaper stripping?

amazingtracey - feckless dead husbands, honestly what are they like? (yup, ticks the #winsthread box)

noblegiraffe but I'm pretty sure that she'll have to tell her DH if she marries the electrician. I am assuming of course that OP's desire for decorating doesn't trump the downsides of bigamy.

Can anyone else imagine the dog looking wistfully at DH on the sofa watching TV thinking "oh jesus, please not another fecking 2 hour walk"