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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has anyone's dh done less than mine today?? surely not

305 replies

Candleabras · 08/11/2015 19:45

Today he has, dug potatoes and carrots for 5 people out of the garden, washed peeled and chopped them (for tomorrows tea), been to visit his mother, cooked tonight's tea and washed up (I prepared it) and will walk the dog at 9 tonight

Actually, writing it down it looks ok, but he will have spent about 7 hours watching tv by the time he goes to bed tonight, that's what pisses me off

AIBU?

OP posts:
shutupanddance · 09/11/2015 22:36

Blush op said hes too over the lit to
Pick kids up

shutupanddance · 09/11/2015 22:37

Limit

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/11/2015 22:37

Do you honestly believe that because he is a man he is more qualified to do DIY?!

Hmm
kungfupannda · 09/11/2015 22:39

I do most of the DIY in our house, mainly because DP and I have very different levels of patience.

DP would prefer to wait until we can pay someone to do it professionally. Whereas I always want things done NOW NOW NOW! So I do it myself. It usually works out...

Mondy · 09/11/2015 22:46

"How many of you can fix a tumble drier, put up decking, use a stihl saw and an angle grinder and a spirit level? Who can use the dh's Black and Decker work bench? I'm obviously in the company of multitasking superwomen."

My (female) partner can do all of the above. She's not a superwoman (well, apart from in my eyes), she's a woman. Many women do these sort of things you know - there's no such thing as a typical woman or man! By the way, I'm a bloke and I'm utterly terrible at DIY (and not for the want of trying!) Different people are good at different things, whatever sex they may be.

Sorry if this sounds patronising by the way, it's not meant to, it's just really surprising to read statements like the above quote in 2015.

FluffyPingPong · 09/11/2015 22:50

I attempted to do DIY once... A simple task of hammering a small nail into a wall. Somehow I managed to knock an entire chunk out so DIY is definitely my husbands domain from now on.
Although you wouldn't know it as we have lived in our current house for over a year and I'm still waiting for him to re-silicon the window ledges, put a curtain rail up in the spare room, and fix the landing window that leaks water when the wind blows rain in. He's a qualified carpenter and a pvc window/conservatory fitter... But it still took him 6 months of shuffling past our new back door in the hallway before he got around to actually fitting it! Angry

amazingtracy · 09/11/2015 22:52

I don't touch electrics or plumbing- could manage all the rest.

I find it hard to believe that your husband pealed himself off the sofa and took apart the dryer for no reason. why did he take it apart?

Amuse me OP- how many hours a week do you work?
Myself- I work FT with one young child- If I don't do it I gotta pay some to do it for me!

Seeyounearertime · 09/11/2015 22:53

Tumble drier, yup
Not sure what you mean by Stihl Saw? Stihl is a brand so it could be a chainy or cordless cut off? But yup
Angle grinder, ehyup
Decking, eh yup
Workbench, ehhyup.

Oh wait, not me, I mean My GF can, I make a mean cup of tea though and I can sort her nails out after she's done Grin

PrimalLass · 10/11/2015 05:17

OP did you really ask if we could use a spirit level?

AimlesslyPurposeful · 10/11/2015 06:21

OP - Why not be a bit pro-active about this and ask some electricians for quotes?

Once you've got the quotes you and your DH can have a talk about raising the funds to get the work done.

I do understand your frustrations at him starting but not finishing things though and can sympathise. I live with a 'Half a job Bob' too - and mine owns a building company. He starts things with great enthusiasm, then the novelty wears off and we're years without a bath panel/architrave/etc.

Enjolrass · 10/11/2015 06:53

I am so confused.

This started as a thread about an apparently unproductive day.

And now it's something out of the 1950s.

There is obviously more going on with the OP. The dh maybe lazy or she may be a pain in the arse and drip feeding in an attempt to get someone to agree with her.

Either way she isn't happy with him whoever a fault it is.

Oh and yes OP I can do all those things in your post. Doesn't make me special.

firesidechat · 10/11/2015 08:36

How many of you can fix a tumble drier, put up decking, use a stihl saw and an angle grinder and a spirit level? Who can use the dh's Black and Decker work bench? I'm obviously in the company of multitasking superwomen.

I reakon I could do all of those (certainly the spirit level and workbench thing), but that's why I keep a husband, so I don't have to.

Seriously though, I'm the painter and decorator in our house and thankfully my husband is great at all the other stuff. If he wasn't then I would have to learn those too. Women are more than capable of doing diy.

In fairness to you op, I would hate to have a husband who would neither do the work himself nor pay someone else to do it.

lorelei9 · 10/11/2015 08:38

Tumble Drier - don't have one so don't know

Angle grinder, spirit level - yes. Have you ever put shelves up? Sometimes these jobs are much less intimidating when you just look at the steps involved.

what's special/hard about a Black & Decker work bench? It sounds like something that would be brilliant to have if I didn't live in a small flat.

you don't mention what you do for a living but if your accountant husband can do this sort of thing, there's no reason why you can't unless you are about to drip feed us a reason. Most of us learn DIY as we go along. I wouldn't recommend rewiring but if it's needed doing for 18 years, I don't understand why you haven't saved up for it.

I now think you started the thread in the hope we would all call your husband lazy based on the information that he did quite a lot on a Sunday....!

firesidechat · 10/11/2015 08:40

The first practical thing is that the electrics needs to be paid for. No point in getting frustrated about the other stuff. Get a quote and find a way to afford it. Your husband can not do electrics.

Plastering is also a skilled job. That probably needs paying for too.

Then decorate together.

Job done.

IJustLostTheGame · 10/11/2015 08:44

I'll go one step further, I am a master with the hammer drill. I love it. I got our house back to brick in a week. I'm also a pro at lagging and insulating.
I'm shit at painting though.
Wall paper's a doddle.

My DH does less than that on a Sunday.
Apart from going to work (and he does work REALLY hard) he does fuck all.

IJustLostTheGame · 10/11/2015 08:47

I think you can do your own wiring but you'll need to hire an electrician to sign it off and certify it.
It's not a good idea though unless you really know what you're doing.
And a lot of sparks refuse to do it, with good reason.

lorelei9 · 10/11/2015 08:57

also another thing, I don't think, in 2015, that doing a bit of DIY makes anyone "superwoman" or indeed "superman".

It's just getting stuff done.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 10/11/2015 10:38

So you want him to get on with some DIY. Fair enough. But 3 hours of dog walking is not normal, no. Unless you have a dog which needs a ridiculous amount of exercise, then 2 twenty minutes walks would be ample with the occaisonal longer tramp in the woods thrown in. So whilst he's sitting on his arse a lot, you're wasting a lot of time each day dog walking.

Kewcumber · 10/11/2015 10:50

I'm obviously in the company of multitasking superwomen

No just women Confused - have you tried to use a workbench? You do know that it doesn't need a penis right?

What do you think those of us who are single do?

I'm an accountant (as yes work kinds part-time Shock) and I can do some stuff around the house. I can put up shelves, have even once upon a time made my own shelves from 1x2's, I can put up basic light fitting provided its not a loop circuit which frankly is beyond me, I can fill and paint but I draw the line at plumbing and wall-papering (no real reason I can;t can't be arsed to learn).

I learnt to do it with books and google and trial and error (same as most men do if their parents didn't teach them).

And if I can't do it them I save up and I organise for someone to come in and do it. All without the aid of a penis.

Kewcumber · 10/11/2015 10:51

My sister has two large visla's they get walked for an hour in the morning and 30 mins in the evening. Occasionally go out for longer if someone is going out for a run.

Tinklewinkle · 10/11/2015 13:14

Depends on the dog breed surely.

I have a Springer Spaniel. 2 20 minute walks would not touch the sides.

He gets an hour in the morning and again at night during the week, then at weekends at least a couple of hours a couple of times both days.

As for the DiY jobs, yes, I'm perfectly capable, although if DH had insisted on something like fitting our window sills rather than getting the window fitters to do it, or taking the tumble drier to bits, I'd be bloody pissed off about having to sort it out myself

Krampus · 10/11/2015 13:18

Gosh, it took me 10 years to work how to use one of those tricky spirit levels thingies. Tuns out they're not used for seeing how much vodka I had left.

WizardOfToss · 10/11/2015 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crazybaglady · 10/11/2015 19:12

Maybe you should take a look at my relationship thread then come back and moan Grin

Original poster
Candleabras · 10/11/2015 22:48

Not been on all day, been at work again, then to a meeting until 9.

I have a border terrier, and they LOVE exercise. Why would someone commit to a dog and then not put the effort into giving the correct amount of exercise for the breed. To say walking a dog for 3 hours isnt normal is bizarre, the poster clearly has no understanding of dogs and correct ownership.

Dh, took the drier to pieces to replace a worn part, so still waiting for the replacement. There is no way I could do a satisfactory job of building decking. I would want a professional job doing, and I'm not a joiner. Neither is dh but he would do a professional job as he is a perfectionist. I think that might be half the reason he doesn't do anything around the house, because when he's finished a job it is perfection, and that requires too much effort for a lazy person.

Think I'll go over to the relationship board as was suggested

OP posts: