WIBU to have slapped his face?

[BMW6]

This afternoon a man (mid fifties) in the street said to me "excuse me darlin' but can I tell you you've got really impressive tits"

Without any thought I slapped his face and gave him a raging dressing down - he just stood there stunned looking and mumbled "sorry darlin'" (which enraged me all the more)

I am conflicted - part of me is horrified that I reacted violently, the other part is still fuming and kind of glad I slapped him.

Did I over-react?

but also

Senpai "The self defense law on it is a little tricky, you aren't allowed to pull a knife unless you're going to use it"

um, clarification please?

I just explained:

So pulling a knife is illegal up to the point of actually stabbing them (or attempting to), as odd as it sounds because if you had no intention of stabbing then it wasn't really pulled in self defense.

You shouldn't have slapped him imho - only physical touching to me would've warranted any physical response, if that makes sense.

I would've told him to not speak to me in such a filthy manner though. That's if I could get my jaw off the floor - the brass neck of him!

But if he'd have grabbed my breasts or butt, I might've gave him a slap but at very least called him something very bad and shoved his hand away and let him know that's an arrest-able offence.

Dirty bastard.

Senpai - still a bit confused how that could be applied but never mind.

Spitoon - really sorry to hear that happened to you and very shocked. Did you report it to the police?

I have only once had to lash out - a man grabbed me from behind in a bar and when I tried to squirm away he held on harder. The natural instinct was elbow back, spin round once free, then lash out. I just reacted, there was no time to think.

He apologised. He clearly thought it was OTT of me but he apologised profusely. The fact that this guy thought it was okay to assault you twice just leaves me stunned.

YABU to hit him, but YANBU to give him the biggest dressing down of his pathetic life.

Basically unless you actually stab a guy, you shouldn't have pulled it out in the first place.

Guns are much stricter. If you pull a gun you damn well better shoot it.

These laws are basically to target people that are puffing feathers during an exchange, as that happens more often than not when a weapon is drawn. Obviously there's grey areas, and intent has to be established. But that's the general law.

senpai

unfortunately in some areas where I have lived the act of pulling a knife would have seen you get a pummelling as you have threatened someone with a knife.

Your self defence law becomes a lot less woolly at the point you pull out a weapon.

BMW

YWBU too slap him.

senpai "Basically unless you actually stab a guy, you shouldn't have pulled it out in the first place.

If you pull a gun you damn well better shoot it"

I can't really see a difference between those two things.

Lorelie9

I'm not sure how to explain it. The law does not make sense, so don't look for reason in the law itself.

A guy intimidates you:

• Pulling a gun and threatening him is not ok.
• Pulling a gun and shooting him is ok.

A guy breaks into your house

• Shooting him to injure is not ok.
• Shooting him after he's injured and not getting up is not ok
• Shooting him to kill him outright is ok.

Basically they don't want people who are having a heated exchange to pull weapons as a "trump card". If you get what I mean. You need to feel genuinely threatened and these laws are just over simplifications of what you should do if you're truly intimidated.

I can't really see a difference between those two things.

There's not. If you pull a weapon, you better use it. That's all it is. I promise.

I know it doesn't make sense that the police are basically encouraging people to actively kill each other, but it's how the law is set up. :)

unfortunately in some areas where I have lived the act of pulling a knife would have seen you get a pummelling as you have threatened someone with a knife.

It would here too, which is why I wouldn't ever draw it unless I knew I was about to be in a fight in the first place. These men were ready to assault me, and I was ready to give them hell for it. I was lucky they walked off, I might not have been. But I did know that if I drew it before they started lunging it had a chance of avoiding a fight all together and it did.

MrsDeVere
"See....if a man walked up to another man he did not know in the street and said something obscene and that man punched him it would not be seen as unreasonable."

I don't often disagree with what you post MrsD
But it would still be assault and it would still be unreasonable.

"If you approach people with the express intention of insulting them you only have yourself to blame if you get a smack."

I have always told children this, but the responsibility for the violent action always remains with the person that has struck the other person, otherwise certain areas become very grey.

Senpai

The difference (I think) is that you would be acting in fear, the OP is acting in anger.

See....if a man walked up to another man he did not know in the street and said something obscene and that man punched him it would not be seen as unreasonable.

You may not think that's unreasonable but I think that sort of behaviour is unreasonable. I can't ever see my DH or my brother reacting like that. My brother would probably tell him to fuck off and DH would probably just ignore him and walk away. I would be really disappointed if I thought they felt that kind of behaviour was acceptable.

See....if a man walked up to another man he did not know in the street and said something obscene and that man punched him it would not be seen as unreasonable.

Perhaps you have those kinds of double standards but I don't.

Because women are supposed to be used to this sort of thing and be flattered by it.

Where has anyone said that the OP should have been flattered?

Slapping a man! How dare she.

No one has the right to slap another person, whatever the gender.

I wonder how many people on this thread would think that a woman deserved a smack if she insults a man. I'm guessing precisely none.

See....if a man walked up to another man he did not know in the street and said something obscene and that man punched him it would not be seen as unreasonable.

Actually I would say it's very unreasonable.

It's not about the gender of either person.

I wouldn't Soup as I don't think a man or a woman should be physically attacked for just saying something.

I think very people would condone that, surely?

Reversing the genders doesn't work though, unless you also have a hypothetical matriarchal system where women have more power than men, and women verbally/physically/sexually abusing men is much more prevalent than the other way around. Not necessarily defending the OP but saying "if you reversed the genders you'd feel differently" is a little disingenuous. Of course you would!

If I slapped a man every time they said something vulgar to me when I was younger I'd have permanently pink fingers.

Instead a good telling of how disgusting they are was usually the trick.

I only ever once slapped someone and that's for them sticking their hands in my underwear and I don't apologise for that.

Just a crude remark? They aren't even worth the slapping energy.

You can't go slapping people for saying something you think is offensive.
OP got angry. That is no justification or defence.