To not go to my cousin and cousin's wedding

[Refuse]

NC as I've posted quite a bit about this relationship over the years.

Two of my first cousins have organised a Christmas wedding and I refuse to attend it out of principle. There are millions, if not billions, of suitable partners for these two so why choose each other. We are all first cousins!

My parents, aunts and uncles and my siblings all intend to attend but I won't be moved. I know it probably won't make a little bit of difference to them (my cousins) but I can't go knowing full well how much I disapprove of their relationship.

My immediate family feel similar to me but will go regardless. They want me to attend and in truth there is nothing stopping me from going other than my dislike for their relationship. I know it's not unreasonable to not attend a wedding but I just had to get this out now that invites have come along.

No you aren't being unreasonable not going.

The rest... meh, you're pretty much the only who cares what you think except LeftmyRidingCropInTheMortuary

You can repeat it all you like but it's not going to change anything. You are perfectly entitled to an opinion but no one else is obliged to pay any attention to it.

DancingDinosaur sorry to hear that.

You are calling your family traitors because they don't agree with you.

If you carry on with those thoughts and feeling towards your family it isn't just your relationship with your cousin that will be souring.

Is it really worth losing a best friend over though? It seems an extreme reaction.

Your mother and sisters are not traitors just because they don't share your opinions. It seems to me that they have simply taken the entirely sensible view that it would be ridiculous to boycott a family occasion just because it's not the "best of circumstances".

This obviously isn't incestuous or anything like it, otherwise it would be illegal. But even if you think it is, can you not at least take the view that this comes within the realm of "Hate the sin, love the sinner"?

I suspect if you carry on like this you are going to find yourself totally sidelined within your family if you cannot be at any event attended by this couple, their children, and their parents and siblings.

I think she can go to other events where they're there, just not an event where the whole point of it is to celebrate this "marriage".

LeftMyRidingCrop, I think you need to revise GCSE statistics. If they demonstrate that thousands of deaf children have parents who are not related, that also demonstrates that the mere fact that a child is deaf does not mean that their parents are more likely to have interbred.

"this little piggy went to market, this little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home and this little piggy is a warning to date in another town at least 500miles from here..."

If it feels ick, it's ick.

Yes, because that justification worked so well for the racists, homophobes and all-round bigots in their cause ...

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes

You seem a bit jealous. Do you fancy one of them or something?

Yes. As it happens I do fancy one of my cousins! I just don't want her to ruin her life over a man she's known for a little while who also happens to be her first cousin. I can't be happy for them. I can't be happy for her.

PhoenixReisling Yes. She and I grew up together. Same age, same everything but we only saw our cousin (groom) at Christmas or birthdays or other such occasions. Even that is enough for me to realise that this isn't on.

Your family aren't traitors for going as they are entitled to their own opinions!

I would suck it up and go. You seem to have had a great relationship with the bride and in future you may wish to rekindle that. You're not ostracising them, only yourself.

And it isn't incest - that it parent, grandparent, greatgrandparent, child grandchild, blood aunt or uncle. Y'can call it incest all you like... doesn;t make it so.

And what's wrong with being heather?! Isn't that just a slightly bosom-hoiky way of saying Atheist?

JeanneDeMontbaston That's slightly disingenuous if you will allow me... Racists and homophobes have no place in society. I think comparing this to that actually does a greater disservice to those problems that we need to actually counter.

I think she can go to other events where they're there, just not an event where the whole point of it is to celebrate this "marriage".

That will depend whether she's invited, LeftMyRidingCrop. To be honest, if I had a cousin who kept banging on about how she viewed my own or my child's relationship as repulsive, to the extent that she thought her own mother was a traitor for not sharing her views, I'd be a trifle reluctant to invite her. Equally, if I were another relative I would definitely think twice about inviting someone who held those views about my guests.

Oh dear, Gruntled, I'll go over this slowly!

If a child IS the product of incest, incest is the likely cause of the deafness! Plus TWO of the children in the earlier post were deaf. It's far less likely to just be a random, unlucky occurrence.

Deaf child with unrelated parents = both BY CHANCE have the mutation - no-one's fault - could not have been predicted.

Deaf children with related parents = both parents have the mutation and knew they were taking a risk by breeding.

Again, only on MN could people try and deny that incest is dangerous. You can't control what happens in subsequent generations that could compound your mistake.

And just to point out, I think bumsex is ick too. So take from that what you will.

YABU! They most love each other so why shouldn't they get married who gives a damn if they're cousins so what it's legal and it used to be a very common occurrence in the UK.

In other countries and religions it's still encouraged.I know girls that I went to school with and they've married they're first cousins and they're all really happy many years later.

I just don't want her to ruin her life over a man she's known for a little while who also happens to be her first cousin. I can't be happy for them. I can't be happy for her.

How is she ruining her life?

How has she only known him for a little while if we only saw our cousin (groom) at Christmas or birthdays or other such occasions
Surely she has known him all her life?

This isnt about them being cousins is it? Thats just a very convenient excuse for you to vent your upset about your best friend choosing someone else to spend her life with.

. My first and you're welcome.

We are a close family and the thought of having sex with a cousin makes me feel queasy i dont care if its legal its not right yanbu dont go I wouldnt although i do know cousins who have married it just seems wrong. Dont make a fuss just dont go.

Bumsex hurts.

I'm not a fan.

You sound quite warped LeftMyRidingCrop, your posts are getting more and more ridiculous.

Don't go OP, you'll ruin their day with your sour face.

Well good for you. Everyone knows how you feel now.