Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

Apologies - we hadn't seen this thread when we tweeted, and it must have seemed pretty poorly-timed. We can of course see why the language used in the piece might be upsetting to someone who has lost a child.

The author can't, apparently, KateMN.

Might be?

The author of the piece can't see why her crass analogy is offensive and upsetting. Her 'apology' is the most outrageous sorrynotsorry I've ever seen.

Stupid article in oh so many ways.

And she actually used the phrase 'haters gonna hate' in her response on Twitter. Mind-bogglingly blinkered and insensitive.

KateMumsnet - "might be upsetting"????

Absolutely awful. How can she compare it.. How fucking offensive!

Yes the child is gone, but the person is still very much there.. Teenagers bring their own pleasures and then as adults become a friend. Couldn't be more different than being dead.

I blew a raspberry on almost 9 year olds tummy yesterday and idly wondered if it might be the last time.
but that's because he is growing and gaining independence as he should. Yes I miss baby him and toddler him but that's why we have photos. The alternative to him getting bigger and gaining independence is too horrific to think about - I'm lucky because I don't have to. I am so sorry (understatement) for parents who have actually lost a child.

Has she deleted those tweets? They don't seem to be there any more.

So will HQ's public response to the article be changed in anyway Kate?
I gather you can delete tweets? Perhaps write another one reflecting the widely held views and feelings on this thread?

Not deleted, just me not being able to operate Twitter properly, oops....

"We can of course see why the language used in the piece might be upsetting to someone who has lost a child."

How... magnanimous of you.

A very insensitive article by a right on yummy mummy. Go away.

Oh she really is horrid. I haven't had a child bereavement and I am appalled. Yes, it's sad when they grow up, yes, you miss those little chubby cuddles but you still get the big lanky hugs. And too many people don't. Nasty self centred egotistical woman.

Why doesn't she just say 'Yep you're right, it was a crap choice of phrase. Sorry'.

It's easy!

What was wrong with laffys post

Yes, we've deleted the tweet now, JugglingFromHereToThere.

It's weird to claim abuse from some folk saying that what you have written has upset them.

It's clearly a bad choice of phrase. Just apologise.

Not sure quite why my post was deleted...just saying pretty much what lots of others have said. I DID call the journalist a "c" and a "tw*t"...have censored myself so it doesn't get zapped again.

I wasn't inciting hatred or anything.

I think Mumsnet have really dropped the ball on this and can't really accept that the journalist is in the wrong. Just sayin.

You're obviously there HQ as you were very quick to delete my post...care to explain why?

I actually read it, and whilst I can relate to some bits I kind of know these times will end- so I am ready for it.

One thing I have realised is that there have been a few posts on this topic recently, and I have seen a fair few posts from our own bereaved parents on MN- we know who they are.
I have name changed a quite a few times so they don't know who I am. But their pain is palpable and I cant forget their stories.

I think maybe they have made me more sensitive to this issue.

I guess what I am trying to say if that having a raging tirade against this woman wont really help any of us feel better about this tragic issue- maybe best to do something soul enriching instead?

I couldn't believe they would publish this crap.