Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

It's completely thoughtless.

Fucking hell!

Agreed, very thoughtless indeed. Sorry for your loss OP.

And sorry for your loss wibblies

My eldest is about to turn 12.

No, it is really not the same as if he had died. Stupid woman. (LF, not you, wibblies. I'm sorry you've had to read such thoughtless fuckwittery )

Sorry for your loss

What a stupid and thoughtless piece of writing.

Have you tweeted her or commented on the article? You should

so sorry for your loss.

Of course it's not the same the bloody idiot. How can someone think that? Ffs.

Not even comparable. Yes, it's sad and a little heart sore when you realise your baby is growing towards adulthood, and will one day be an independent human being. But that's the ultimate aim of parenting. Losing a child isn't even in the same realm.

Sorry for your loss

Thanks for flowers and sorries - I appreciate the thought, but truthfully, right now, I'm feeling the need for righteous fury more than tea and sympathy.

Is she on Twitter? I'd quite like to register an objection but I've not tweeted before.

YANBU to think that is not OK at all. Seeing a child grow up and getting to enjoy them as a teen and then an adult is incomparable to never seeing them again. Stupid, stupid woman.

Wibblies, I'm sorry you've lost a child :( I felt exactly the same when I read the article this weekend. My eyebrows well and truly left my forehead

Definitely on Twitter
twitter.com/lizfraser1

Not only is it not the same but it's surely the exact total opposite??

Utterly stupid (not to mention insensitive) analogy.

I'm sorry for you loss, wibblies, and more than happy to validate your righteous fury!

I'm so glad it's not just me - naturally my response to this sort of thing can be disproportionate! They even use the word bereaved in the sub heading, so it's not like no one else at the paper noticed what she was saying.

Not only is it not the same but it's surely the exact total opposite?"
Yes, I think that's why this is a particularly odious example. Thank you lady nym for putting it so well.

Oh god yes, I read that article and while I felt uncomfortable I didn't put my finger on it until you said it.

I thought the same when I read that article too. Not in any way comparable.

YANBU, it's a fucking stupid thing to say. Has she got no sense at all? It's not remotely the same.

So sorry for your loss wibblies

LadyN
Not only is it not the same but it's surely the exact total opposite??
Yep! Can someone tweet the stupid journo?
I reeeeally hate it when journalists spew out such offensive crap- why should they absolve themselves of responsibility for considering others' feelings.

I can't believe how utterly thoughtless this article is

Yes I've noticed this a lot but this is the worst example I've ever seen.
I think it's understandable to talk about your feelings of loss when say your DC leave home for Uni - but on those kind of threads I always feel I have to say yes but you've still got so much to look forward to with them in the future.
Using words like "bereavement" is always going too far IMHO, it's just not the right analogy as you say. Talking about the child being dead when they've just grown up is frankly very offensive.
We lost my DNephew just over a year ago (in his early twenties). My poor DSis
It's been devastating for our whole family
Am so sorry for your loss wibblies

Jesus, how insensitive. She sounds like one of these women who believes as soon as you have children your every emotion takes on a level of incomprehensible profundity. (Clue: it doesn't).