Use of child death as an analogy for sense of loss should be punishable by wearing a dimwit hat for ever more

[wibblies]

Fucking Liz Fraser in the weekend guardian is the latest in a long line of journalists and writers who seem to think this is ok.

Here's a sample of what she has to say in her article about her sense of loss in watching her children grow from primary age into teenagers:

"When the joy goes - and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 12-year-old who wants to play Minecraft with his similarly zit-infested mates – it feels like bereavement."

"Those young children are dead now. They are gone."

"The bereavement is long, slow and refreshed every day."

Just so you know, Liz Fraser, watching a child grow up as it gets older is really not anything like not watching a child grow up because the child is dead. I know this, because I've tried them both.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who notices this shit? Please tell me you recognise that it's not the fucking same at all? That it's not even a tiny bit similar and that it's crass in the extreme to suggest it?

The vast majority of posts on here have not been abusive (although calling her a cunt probably could be classed as that. The article is so obviously offensive to bereaved children. She is also clearly insinuating on twitter that people on mumsnet are far too dim witted to understand her humour and turn of phrase.

I think it was a really shit thing to say in an article, the cynic in me wonders if she knew it would be controversial and a angry people means more readers.

'Fuck me. I've just been blocked by Liz on Twitter. I wasn't even rude, let alone abusive!'

This is a good thing. If there is one thing I have learned on this journey as a bereaved parent, it's that life is too short for twats.

Ah, ok. Everyone is picking on her because they are "bored, much?"

Because, like, when your child has died, it is well boring...

It's particularly solipsistic to identify genuine shock and hurt in readers who have actually experienced child death as 'lashing out' or 'spitting venom'. That makes it about her when it fact it's about them.

I have never lost a child. But my parents did. So I have some sense of what it does to parents and a very strong understanding of what it does to siblings.

She needs to apologize.

It's rather disheartening that she is so blind to the sheer magnitude of the words she is paid to write.

And that she puts her own idea of "humour" above the heartbreak of grieving parents. How can anyone write truly perceptive AND lighthearted articles about parenting if they are so superficial? Lacking emotional intelligence sums her up pretty well.

And the guardian comments discussion is now closed. It wasn't me, I didn't even read it till just now!

Reassuringly, there are several polite protests from bereaved parents in the comments over the past few days. I'm genuinely relieved that it's not just me who found it crass at best. It can be hard to know what the normal feelings are when one's normal is not what it used to be.

Snot fair, how do I see her apology/not apology now I'm blocked?

Don't worry, wibblies, we'll be reunited with our children before she apologises.

By not being logged in, wibblies. Blocking aint all that, really!

Given the way she's blocked you, I wouldn't hold your breath for any genuine apology.

Confused yes, that's why I said "kind of". My grieving for DS1 started when he was diagnosed at 5, and he's still with us, thankfully. He's 25 and his prognosis was between 15 and 30 so I feel like we're on borrowed time. What makes it worse is that he's gone NC with us. I keep thinking that nobody would tell us if he died. Hopefully DD1 would.

Very disappointing, MNHQ.

I cannot believe today's "journalists" call readers' valid concerns and non-positive comments as abuse. ABUSE?! To disagree with shit writing tryin to pass as journalism is now abuse?!

And no words for MN HQ except if they did read the article and that's their opinion, it might be time to find a new forum for me.

I am sorry OP

I read that rubbish article and remember having exactly the same thoughts. What self indulgent nonsense. Of course you might miss the toddler years (or a heavily edited version that exists in your memory anyway), but 'mourn'? It is the ultimate exercise in futility and I hope my friends would tell be to get over myself not join in! The idea that a bit of nostalgic wallowing can be comparable to actual mourning a death is disgusting and hugely lacking in empathy.

If she has even half a brain she must know now (even if for some unknown reason she didn't realise before)how offensive she has been -so why doesn't she say how sorry she is. I can't understand why this thread hasn't brought her up short and made her think I've been an idiot and I need to do something to try and put things a little bit right.

I am also blocked.

Have HQ deleted that tweet now? I can't see it...

Gosh. Blocking people is such a cop out.

Oh heavens, why does she just not get it?

I've read this thread & the Twitter comments before posting & I am just so angry. How can a person be so utterly brainless?

There are NO circumstances under which it's OK to say your child growing up is the same as your child dying. It's possibly the easiest concept I can think of.

Even though it's thankfully not happened to me I do understand that losing a child is the worst thing there is, you can compare nothing to it. It remains the one thing in life I am terrified of.

And the posters on here who have actually suffered that heartbreak are giving "nasty abuse" and "spitting venom" for complaining? Jesus Christ I've heard it all now.

My goodness what an idiot she is! Clumsy use of words, utterly thoughtless, to those like op who will never watch their child grow up. I am sorry op .

She's should have the guts and grace to apologise. And she knows it.

Wow.

So, she is allowed to be all sad and upset by people's reaction to her (crass and insensitive) words... Yet she is denying people's grief and err, 'upset' at her article.

So, dear journalist, you rate your feelings to an article more worthy of kindness and solicitation than a parent mourning the death of their child.

Wow. I'm glad I don't have those priorities. Editorial angst vs everlasting grief. Nice.

This is fucking awful

I'm Speechless