To have been rude(ish to this woman in the changing room

[DieRosen]

I went swimming yesterday and when I came out of the pool the dressing room was completely empty. I found a quiet corner and started to get dressed. Someone else came in and decided to get changed about two feet from me. Normally I would just sigh inwardly and move when someone does this. But I was half in, half out of my swimsuit, had my top and jeans laid out on the bench, my hairdryer beside them etc and it would have been awkward.

So the two of us were there getting dressed, almost bumping into each other, trying to put on knickers discreetly, moving stuff out of each other's way, in a bloody empty dressing room. When I was leaving I said 'don't you think it would be better if we gave each other a bit of space. The whole room is empty after all'.

She just gave me a sour look and went on brushing her hair.

WIBU? It just infuriated me.

I think you were quite restrained - that kind of thing pisses me off. There is no need for it.

I hate this

like when you park on a near empty car par and someone parks so close you can't open your door

its a bit like a car park, where you park out of the way in the corner and then some dopey driver comes and parks right next to you!! ffs

It's ridiculous, I've no idea why people do it.
Oh and yes, yes to the car park also! Idiots.

Thanks. Glad I'm not the only person who finds this infuriating. I have absolutely no idea why people do this. It's really intrusive and annoying.

But whats the point of saying it on the way out?! Surely it would have been better to either move,or politely ask if she wouldn't mind moving over a bit so you could both have a bit more space?

No need for the PA attitude at all in my opinion, so yes you were unreasonable.

My experience of this is the beach phenomenon - you can have a vast and virtually empty beach, but you just know that as soon as you and your family have settled down some idiot will come and plonk themselves right next to you. It must be some sort of herd instinct.

That would piss me off no end, I think you were really restrained!

I agree I should have said it at the time, but I just got more annoyed as time went on and we were getting in each other's way. As I explained, it was really awkward for me to move.

How was I passive aggressive? Genuine question.

YANBU.
i've lost count of the time some weirdo would come and sit beside me, on an empty bus. it is intimidating and annoying.

I said 'don't you think it would be better if we gave each other a bit of space. The whole room is empty after all'

This just comes across as needlessly snarky and PA to me. If you said this to me I'd feel embarrassed and hurt and wonder why,if you felt this way, you didn't just ask me to move over a bit or move yourself.

I doubt very much she got dressed where she did deliberately to annoy you!

like when you park on a near empty car par and someone parks so close you can't open your door
yes, yes, yes.
OP. you were very restrained - why on earth do people do this? Even if you locker was next to hers, surely she would have taken her stuff an changed elsewhere.

Happens on half empty train platforms too - people come and stand right next to you.

Although I think the reason for that is because I stand near where the door is, and they are trying to annoy me into moving so that they can be nearer the door.

It's difficult on trains when you know the train is going to fill up and you see a nice slim person who you want to sit next to, but when you get on the train is half empty so they are going to give you a sour look if you sit next to them rather than on the currently empty three seater.

I try not to park next to people when they are sitting in their cars in a car park but I do tend to park next to a car because I reverse in and it's easier to reverse in next to a car than the white line (assuming that there is a white line). I don't block people's doors though. I wouldn't go to the far corners of the car park to do it though.

However, I wouldn't bother you in a changing room because I always go into a cubicle.

sit beside me, on an empty bus
this too!!!

I hate this!
I get on my bus at the start of the route when it is empty, but without fail, someone will ignore the plethora of empty seats and plonk themselves down next to me. Why?!

No, I don't think she did it deliberately to annoy me. But it was annoying and thoughtless.

I still don't get the PA accusation. I thought PA was saying something in an indirect way, whereas I thought I was maybe a bit too direct.

I would have huffed and puffed and moved however awkward. I wouldn't have coped with that closeness in those circumstances.

you see a nice slim person who you want to sit next to

People often to it in empty cafes. Someone did it to me in Dunelm. I was waiting for a friend and sat on my own in the empty (apart from me and about 2 others) cafe.
Someone came in and sat at the table right next to me.

I put everything back on the tray and moved.

PA is being indirectly hostile OP, and making a comment as you walked out the door despite having the opportunity to politely request she move over or to move yourself seems pretty hostile to me. Your intention was to make her feel shitty no? Otherwise why would you have said it at all?

I used to commute to London but out of normal hours so as often on almost empty trains. If I was in an emptyish carriage and someone came and sat next to me I'd get up and move, usually with a PA sigh, so I don't think you were BU.

to be direct would have been to ask her to move,not say it as you did on the way out

I once growled 'get away from me' at a woman who did this. She fled to the far side of the room and complained on her way out.

Management had a word with me and I promised to play more nicely next time. Which I did, when she came to my next exercise class and stood far too close to one of the other participants.

Mind you, she really didn't get the hint easily. She was almost literally sharing an exercise mat in another lesson... I had to take her aside and explain why being close enough to touch was dangerous in many classes, like the step class I had just removed her from. She complained, again.

There seems to be a small subset of people who just don't get the concept of personal space. Growl at them...

Well, I wasn't trying to make her feel shitty, just a bit aware of how inconsiderate she was being.

I was hoping if I pointed it out to her she might think twice before doing it again. I agree it would have made more sense to say something at the time, but I had planned to grit my teeth and say nothing but the irritation built up.