To have been rude(ish to this woman in the changing room

[DieRosen]

I went swimming yesterday and when I came out of the pool the dressing room was completely empty. I found a quiet corner and started to get dressed. Someone else came in and decided to get changed about two feet from me. Normally I would just sigh inwardly and move when someone does this. But I was half in, half out of my swimsuit, had my top and jeans laid out on the bench, my hairdryer beside them etc and it would have been awkward.

So the two of us were there getting dressed, almost bumping into each other, trying to put on knickers discreetly, moving stuff out of each other's way, in a bloody empty dressing room. When I was leaving I said 'don't you think it would be better if we gave each other a bit of space. The whole room is empty after all'.

She just gave me a sour look and went on brushing her hair.

WIBU? It just infuriated me.

Ywnbu at all.
It's like when you find a spot on a practically deserted beach and an entire family including 2 enormous dogs come and plonk themselves right next you

well I'm sure she'll avoid you like the plague if she sees you there again!

I can't understand why people don't just politely ask people if they wouldn't mind moving/choosing another seat instead of getting irrationally angry about it and then incredibly rudely?! I imagine when people do this they aren't really paying all that much attention to their surroundings so by asking they will be unlikely to take offence, and even if they do just move yourself.

There really isn't any need for anyone to be huffing and snarky with people essentially just going about their own business, it's not on at all.

I would have just moved away myself to give her the message clearly, despite it being a real pain. You WNBU though.

I don't get why, in restaurants, they always give you a table right close next to another group of people dining, when the remainder of the restaurant is empty. Waiting staff obviously think we need to be on top of each other!

Hahahhaha! I actively look for places in empty car parks and beaches I can sit that doesn't allow someone to come and sit on my lap or park in my car boot! Drives me mad!

Yanbu

Id have commented immediately.

Some people dont get personal space, I had a colleague who used to routinely come sit on my desk when the chair/desk next to me were empty/unallocated, sending my notebook and carefully prioritised pending stuff into disarray. One day i asked her not to explaining my system of urgent goes in order of deadline date on my desk then when done, into its folder in the desk rack. She was livid! Next time someone did that I just said, here, use this chair next to me its always free...they thought i was being solicitous of their comfort, job done.

I'd have just said i will give you more space and moved OP tbh. Less hassle!

People are so oblivious to the existence of others. I was shopping in a large store yesterday and most of the consumers were pushing their carts around like zombies, without regard to whether they were blocking others, cutting in front of them or otherwise being rude.

In the changing room I would have said something to the woman like "Would you mind giving me a little space here? The entire room is available, no need to crowd up."

I've been the sole occupant in public toilets where a row of 10 stalls is available and the newcomer takes one right next to mine. Baffling.

I know what you mean OP. People do it to me on buses!
Once I was the only person in the carriage, a couple got on, walked towards me and were obviously going to sit in my group of seats. I sighed inwardly. Then the woman actually sat on me
I have probably outed myself now as I've told that story to so many people!

Was that corner a particularly private one - furthest away from the door, or something? Maybe she wanted some of the corner action as well.

YANBU though, I would absolutely hate this but would have moved rather than endure the awkwardness. Tbh I am so weirded out by the close quarters in gym changing rooms that I go into a toilet cubicle to at least put my undies on in private.

reminds me of the time we took children camping, put our tent up so there was a bit of an area right in front for kids to play etc.....went to sleep and when we woke in the morning and unzipped it some idiots had set their two man tent right in front of us....we could barely get out.....they were sat right there drinking coffee.....nearly a completely empty field....my husband told them to move it or he would move it for them!

...or you could have farted at her

Potatoface that's awful!
Why are some people so clueless when it comes to other people's personal space? It baffles me

Were they forrin?

In Italy people always do this, particularly on a beach. And you can go to a deserted bit of countryside, and find that people (who are not relatives) prefer to live in a maisonette (literally on top of each other!) when there are acres of spare land around them.

This happened yesterday. Sat in a half empty car park. Car pulled up so close to me that the passenger had to climb over the drivers seat to get out

Potatoface we met them! An older gent and his 10 year old grandson...

We drove down to the next available space, there was a fairly obvious line of tents in each side of the narrow field. People were just taking the next one available.

We pitched our tent and then drove off to get milk etc. Came back to find a tent pitched between us and the previous one, guy ropes overlapping, car parked in front, rather than in the gap like everyone elses.

I asked the adult why he had parked on top of our tent? he told me to fuck off, with his grandson sat right there!!

We just picked up our tent and moved it! Seemed like the lesser evil at the time.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow

I don't think you understand the meaning of the phrase passive aggressive.

If anything the OP was passive - just passive.

YANBU, OP.

Why do people do this?!

Especially given the situation.

Grr.

Good for you for saying something.

I get this in public toilets.
I can go to the furthest away toilet in a long completely empty row of public toilet's, you can guarantee that somebody will come in and go to use the one right next to me.

I don't think you were PA. It's hard to make a good point when you're half naked and damp, far better to say something when you're a bit more together.

I was at a party recently and an Italian man got chatting to me. He was too close! So the whole conversation was him getting nearer, me backing away. I don't think he was hitting on me, I just think the personal space thing differs between cultures.

There's a cinema near me and even at really quiet times when they know there's only going to be a handful of people in the audience, the assign everyone seats in the same two or three rows.

Even if you locker was next to hers, surely she would have taken her stuff an changed elsewhere.

Or maybe it was far too difficult to move her stuff just like it was far too difficult for the OP.

I can't imagine a changing scenario where it's impossible to take a step or two along the bench so you aren't arse to arse. If you're not prepared to say anything at the time, you have to put up with it, not make a snarky comment on the way out.

I did take a step or two up, but we were still far too close for comfort. We didn't have lockers, we had crates that you put your stuff in and leave in a cubby hole place and then bring back into the changing room with you. She just plonked her crate right beside me, where I had my clothes and hair dryer on the bench. Also I was only a couple of feet from the wall so couldn't move any further than I did.