To wish I didn't have to do drop off for neighbour's kids for 2 weeks?

[Ironfloor]

Neighbour has asked me whether I can do the morning school drop off for her two kids for 2 weeks. I said I can because she used to give me and DD lifts to school every day for about a year. She has a job which finishes at 2.40 so I'm wondering whether she will ask me to do the pick up some days, too.
AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this situation? I'm stressed at best in the mornings and it's so difficult to find parking space near the school. I can get DD and myself ready on time at 8.15am. But these two kids usually leave home around 8.30 and I'm worried that they won't be ready on time and will delay us all to get to school. Neighbour lives about 2 doors down, by the way.
I'm ready to accept I'm wrong, so please be honest. Thanks in advance!

You sit outside school because you get there early... but they're going to make you late? Surely it's more "not early?" Yabu.

I do think you need to do the 2 weeks, but after that you will have to be firm.

Because otherwise you will have to collect (and keep) after school and you don't want to get into that situation.

So just say that you would find it really difficult to make a commitment (and point out any local childminders walking past).

I dont think it's unreasonable to pick them up afterwards either. I know it sounds like you want to do your own thing and you're entitled to say that you have clubs etc but I think inside yourself you'd feel bad knowing you were tip toeing around making excuses all the time. Just be firm with what you will and won't do. Don't forget down the line she may help you again too (and you may be thankful for the help).

Why dont you walk with all the children, then you won't have to worry about parking

How old are the kids? Could you drop them near school and let them go in together, so you don't have to park?

Ooh, massive drip-feed!

Agree with pluck, could they not all go in together?

YANBU to go without them if they are late.

YABU to say "No" to doing pickup or extending this arrangement. In fact I'd be prepared to be asked.

I'm an ex tour leader and we have a saying that works well.

'At 8.25am we board the bus, at 8.30am, the wheels will be turning. I repeat, wheels turning so be on board'. Never fails.

Yabu and now you're drip feeding excuses.

I think you really need to return the favour that she did for you but there is nothing wrong with you saying that they must be ready for quarter past when you have to leave.

'she may help you again'

From what I read, op didn'tcwant or need any help.

The kids are 4, 5 (my DD),and 6. So I can't drop them and drive off.

I get that in the mornings it's easier just to do your own thing and not have to introduce any other element that can upset the balance. I think you sound unnecessarily over anxious about it. Do you think that actually 2 weeks is going to turn into a longer term arrangement? It's ok to say no to a long term arrangement as long as you cAn be sure you'll never need her help. Also fine to insist on an 815 departure or they lose their lift .

...didn't want...

Okay, so you tell her you will do it for 2 weeks but she has to be ready by 8.15. If she isn't then you tell her you are unwilling to be late and you leave. She will only be late once if she really needs that lift!

If she asks for afternoon pick up, you simply say you can't do it, you already have plans. Don't explain or apologise.

As for the rest, it is up to you to have the strength of character not to allow yourself to be pressured into doing things you don't want to do, ie accepting a lift for a year which has now put you in a position where you owe her. You should have just told her that you wanted to walk with your dd in the first place.

Don't get sucked into doing long term lifts or childcare.

And please don't drip feed - it invalidates the earlier responses.

What time do you leave if you walk?
I was just wondering if you could say that if they are not ready to be in the car by 8.15, you will all be walking, due to lack of parking places.

How long/far is the walk?

I would much prefer anything up to a 30 minute walk than getting in the car at school run time.

If you can walk then why are you driving?

I hare people who sit in the car hogging spaces

YABU on so many levels.

Your dripfeed back story sheds more light. I have a neighbour who is always angling for childcare - she's a lone parent and musician so does need it at odd times, but takes on more stuff than she can manage really. When she started asking too often and, worse, assuming and when her dc turned out to be a rude PITA I backed off. Then she started offering me all sorts of childcare favours, errands etc. Sometimes it would have been useful to be able to accept, but tbh I would rather put up with a lot of inconvenience than accept help from her, because I expect she will then 'call in the favour'. It sounds as if this woman has put you in that position. I do think you are going to have to suck up the 2 weeks, but you don't have to beyond that, IMO. And FGS be a bit more assertive about rejecting 'help' in future

Yes you do sound like an ungrateful b* (your words). How mean can you be?

And unless she pulled you and your dd into her car, you had a choice.

I don't really understand the whole drip feed here. How could she have insisted on giving you a lift for a year if you didn't want one? Unless she whacked you on the head and dragged you unconscious into her car then you accepted a lift from her.

I also don't understand her insisting on your DC going to her house but you and your dh said no. Do you mean she kept inviting them but you said no? Or that you said no but she took them to her house anyway? And if it is the latter, how did it come to happen?

It all sounds a bit muddled to me.

You absolutely should give the kids a lift if it is just for 2 weeks

YANBU to wish you didn't have to do it but you should do it with good grace anyway given she gave you lifts for a year.