To leave work and go on benefits?

[AllOfTheCoffee]

[prepares for flaming]

I work in a coffee shop that turns into a wine bar on a weekend.

I've been there since it opened 7 years ago. I am only the member of staff who's been there since the start and as such whenever anyone leaves I am just expected to cover their shifts until a replacement is found.

I started there on a 15 hours a week, when I left my Ex-H a couple of years ago I asked for more hours, my boss gave me weekends and evenings to top up my hours because my leaving Ex-H co-incided with him getting his wine bar license.

I feel like I never see my kids, we can never go anywhere together and it's really starting to get to me. Loads of parents were bringing their kids in ion fancy dress last night (before we switched to wine bar mode) on their way to or from parties, I was working, just like I was last Halloween and just like I am on the 5th.

I haven't had a Christmas eve with my kids since we turned into a wine bar and not likely to get one this year, I am the only one with enough experience to manage the bar on a busy shift, apparently. I've worked every Friday and Saturday night for the last 3 years, every Christmas Eve, every New Years eve and every Hallloween/Guy Fawkes/Easter/Bank Holiday.

I've asked for my shifts to be changed loads of times and in fairness my boss does then start looking for new staff, however because he can get away with paying under 25's less we end up with daft kids who last a few months and then the whole thing starts again and of course they cannot work busy shifts from the start because they don't have have enough experience, in general I get one or two weekends by the time they're trained before they walk out.

I'm applying for better jobs but almost everything that fits in with the childcare I have available is evenings and weekends.

AIBU to just leave? Is it even possible? I'd keep looking for work of course, I couldn't just not work and I'd be entitled to free courses at the college so would look into getting more qualifications.

Hi OP, I do not have time to read the entire thread now as I really should be getting on with my uni work, but I will say that your situation is clearly a difficult one and there may well be other options available to make it less difficult. If you would like a general chat to get your head around what those options are, and indeed what the implications would be if you did quit your job, feel free to PM me. I'm not sure about your entitlement to JSA as other people have said if you voluntarily leave your job, or if you are dismissed, but this is something that you can find out easily on the .gov website.

Also, I don't know what your salary is like, but just to say that you can receive some level of housing benefit and council tax reduction up to a threshold of £15,000 a year. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Being a manager/shift leader in a job you've been at for 7 years looks much better for a prospective employer than being on benefits.

I could have written your post. I had worked for my bosses for 7 years as a waitress. Started as every other weekend but quickly became every weekend, having a night off is a stress, my bosses hate me havin fine off as I am the only one who can do my job, we get young kids in for a few weeks/months before they quit etc etc

But I have just gotten another job after applying all summer. Working from home for a few hours on the day while the kids are at school. Couple of days in office for which I will use after school club.

Keep applying and you will eventually get something.

Fairylea sorry to hear about your DH's situation. If you're getting carers allowance for your disabled dc, this allows you to claim income support which will top up your income and passport your HB/CTB claims as well. May be easier than jumping through the hoops of ESA/JSA and financially it works out fairly similar. Call Contact a Family for advice.

OP, I sympathise with your situation but not really sure what to advise, except to say getting JSA is tough these days and I know friends who have really suffered under sanctions. FWIW MeadowHay is right, you can get CTB/HB based only on income and it's not sanctionable in the same way as JSA, and you could also get CTC as well. So even if you couldn't get JSA due to leaving your job, you could still have some income coming in and have your rent/council tax covered, and that could keep you going for long enough while you are just looking for another job.

Thank you very much for that nosunshine, that's very helpful. We receive high rate dla for 3.5 year old ds and carers allowance etc so that information is very useful to us. I will contact contact a family tomorrow I think.

I certainly wouldn't quit as then you probably won't receive benefits. I would just stop being pushed around. If you told him you wouldn't be able to work on a certain date and he agreed, stick to your guns and refuse to do it. The worst that will happen is he will sack you but this seems unlikely if you really are the only one who can do certain shifts. If he does sack you, you will still probably be in a better position regarding benefits than if you just leave.

Hi OP - do you live near a University? If so, get in touch with their catering/hospitality department. Ours always need good staff, and lots are in term time only contracts. May be some evening work if in halls, but you'd get paid holiday and other benefits.

I hope things work out.

It crap being a working mother and missing out all the time.

I have worked the last 3 Christmas day's and I'm often working weekends. I have lost count the amount of school plays, stay and play and sports days I have missed.

Tbh I not surprised people are quitting with your boss's anger issues.

To answer a few points that have been raised and sorry if I miss any, I've just back home and skimmed through all the replies.

Yes, I rely on TC, this was never planned, pre DC-2 I worked FT as a shift manager in a bar and was looking at promotion to assistant manager before I got pg.

Ex-H got a better paying and we could afford for me to go p/t so I looked for a job with more family friendly hours while on Mat leave (I did tell my employers that I would probably not be coming back)

Had I had a crystal ball and known how controlling and abusive he would become now he was the higher earner of course I would have stayed in my previous job and would probably be manager by now, if not higher (it was part of a chain) and not needing any benefits but sadly none of us can see the future.

I got my current job while it was still just a coffee shop, my hours were supposed to be set to 15 hours a week between the hours of 9am until 3pm Monday to Saturday, with alternate Saturdays off. This worked for a while until people started leaving and my hours went up and up and up, but he still closed at 6:30pm and did not open Sundays, so I was okay with it, although the constant Saturdays got to me, there was still one other worker who would cover Sats, so we shared them out, she'd do 2 and I'd do the next 2. She left when he applied for his liquor license because he wouldn't agree to her doing days only. I was fine to do a few nights because by then I wanted more contracted hours anyway having left ex-H, I didn't necessarily want more hours than I was doing, I just wanted the hours I was doing to be contracted for security now I was a LP. I told him I need alternate Saturdays off due to childcare issues, this never happened even with me reminding him constantly.

I am now contracted for 25 hours a week, I did think it was 21 but when I checked last week it's actually 25, but often do more hours due to staff shortages. When we have full staff I work my contracted hours but still always weekends, he cannot afford to contract me for more than this and is concerned about how he's going to manage when the NMW goes up because he's barely making a profit as it is, the business has been getting quieter and quieter for the last 4 years, which is why he applied for a license and extended hours.

He is open during the day. I don't just work nights, I work week days and weekend nights, but start at 4pm (and am expected to be ready and working by 4pm so need to be physically in work by 3:45pm), often earlier on a Saturday, so going anywhere as a family is difficult as I rely on public transport to back for work on time. There's not much to do around here, so days out take time getting there and back.

I still miss the school things I would miss if I was 9-5 but I don't get weekends either.

I'm going to keep looking for work and let him know that I am looking for a job with more suitable hours and see what happens.

I'm applying for any jobs, not just jobs with better pay and I get what you are saying about working weekends, I'm fine with working some or even most weekends, I'm fine with working some holidays. I've done bar work most of my working life and I've never had to work every holiday and every weekend and every single week day.

My boss text me earlier to tell me he's looked up the times of local displays and I can work 8pm to 12 on Thurs and still the display with the kids, I'm not sure how he thinks I'll make it back to work within 15 minutes of the display finishing when it's at the other side of town and I don't drive but it's better than nothing I suppose.

Coffee Yours is a good example of what i meant on the tax credit threads .....how extra hours are intermittent and inconsistent. And if he cant afford to run a business and pay a decent wage then his business isnt viable.

If you are not already doing it if make sure I put all communication with him in writing. I wouldn't just tell him that I couldn't make a certain shift I would write to him and ask for confirmation.

I'm not sure I can put anything in writing, everything is run very unprofessionally informally, there's no staff email or computerised logging in or anything you'd usually find in a business.

You write on a calendar which shifts you want off and he looks at it if feels like it

I could write him physical letters, but there's no guarantee he'd keep them or even read them.

I think you should look for a new job that sits your needs better than just give up working.

Wonder what else hes not putting in writing or formally registering.

I shudder to think Helena, I know my hours go through HMRC, from claiming WTC, but the man couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery if I'm honest. We don't get payslips unless we ask and then we have to remind him constantly, I think he gets payslips from his accountants but doesn't bother to pass them on. I had to beg for mine to claim HB.

When he is not having a tantrum he's a decent bloke, he's known my children since they were small and always gives them birthday and xmas gifts, he's just not cut out to be an employer, imo.

I've only stuck at so long because I considered him a friend as well as an employer, he was a great support to me when I left ex-H and I hate the thought of letting him down, but I cannot go on like this.

No Coffee he is NOT a decent bloke. You had to beg for your payslip to claim HB. So he wouldnt have cared about you struggling to pay rent which would affect your DC. He wouldnt have cared if it caused you to be in poverty.

This isnt a friend.

Sorry, but YABVU. To me, benefits are for those with no other choice. Or to help the genuinely needy. I'm happy to live in a society that supports those who need it...i'm not happy to see benefits go to someone who is dissatisfied with their working hours. Of course it sucks not to see your children enough and I feel for you, but you need to talk to your manager or look for other jobs.

I suspect the lesson from the thread from women still in full time work is no matter now nice a husband seems and how attractive part time working and short hours seems keep working full time.

Hopefully you can just refuse a few of the worst requests to work every single holiday whilst actively looking for better jobs. Good luck.

It honestly sounds like he wouldn't cope with the Christmas season without you. And if you are threatening to resign in the next few weeks, assuming you are on a month's notice, that would leave him facing your last working day being on the first or second week of December, the period when he should be able to bank on making big profits to tide him over the quieter times in January/February. This would be a disaterous time for him to lose you, which means perfect for you to hold the line you aren't available.

Keep looking for another job. Can you contact the chain you worked for previously, possibly directly to a head office with your CV, say you'd be interested in working for them again, even if they aren't currently advertising? Worth doing that with any companies you'd be interested in working for, particularly any larger chains in your town, sounds like you would be best suited to working for an organised business.

Hi OP

In addition to my posts above I just wanted to say I do feel for you as well - it's not easy being a sole parent and working too.

My mother was a sole parent with absolutely no help from my father and it's only after becoming a mother myself that I can see how stressful it must have been for her to juggle a job and family life with constant money worries.

I really respect my mother for holding down a job and doing everything else as well and I'm sure you children do (or at least in the future will!) feel the same about you. You are setting a good example for them.

All the best finding a new job.

I took DC2 into school early to have a chat about wrap around care.

They outsource it and it's £18.50 a day but they are a registered childcare provider so CTC would pay for a portion of this.

They pick the children up from school and it runs until 6:30pm, which gives me a bit more flexibility, the lady I spoke to wasn't sure if you collect from on site or if they drop off, if they drop off DC2 could be dropped at relatives which would give me even more flexibility, the school are going to contact them and get back to me.

I have after school care for her, what I don't have is a way to get her from school to the people who would look after her who don't have access to a car and are not able to walk that distance easily.

I asked if I could book her a taxi to take her to my parent's house, they're going to contact the taxi firm they use for children in care and ask if a private arrangement is possible.

It's given me more options but unless they drop off at 6:30pm or I could organise a taxi for her then it's still not the kind of flexibility most bar/shift work would require. As it is my employer knows I cannot work school pick up times so makes sure I finish at 3pm or start after 4pm during term time.

He's now text me and told me to take today off, this could mean he feels bad for not letting me have Thursday evening and is trying to do me a favour, which it's not because I won't be paid for today or it could be that he is sulking because I didn't back down about Thursday evening and is trying to punish me It's like working for an overgrown toddler at times.

I'm going to use today to wander around town and see if anywhere is advertising for staff.

Well then DON'T do the extra shifts, say no and don't go in. If your boss fires you for not doing other peoples work as well as your own, then you can go and claim benefits, you won't have quit. OR he might just sort it out.

But if you don't want or need today off, then that's just him dictating again.
Stand firm. Tell him what you can and can't do and then it's up to him.

Seriously, your boss is telling you he's looked up fireworks displays that you can go to and still get into work. That's hugely overstepping the mark and he's not your friend, just a controlling arsehole.

Do you know what, I'd tell him "these are the days and hours I'm willing to work from now on, if you don't like it then sack me". If he sacks you then you can claim benefits whilst looking for something else.

Yes, seriously, and no, I didn't tell him why I wanted Thursday evening off. He came to that conclusion himself, albeit correctly, but still.

You need to be so careful. If OP refuses to work certain hours and he sacks her she could still come unstuck if her contract says something along lines of '25 hours per week those hours being when she is needed' as that basically means he can't make her work more than 25 hours per week but he can tell her which 25 hours to work.

DWP demand lots of evidence for everything. Myself and daughter disabled plus I have a mh condition. Yet still the hoops (soaked in petrol and alight) you have go jump through to first get a claim through and second keep it are unbelievable. Mh is barely understood at all.

Even if you are eligible they're in no hurry to lay you. 13 weeks may be the official min time till first payment but this is rarely actual in real life. Even a change of circumstances generally means benefits suspended while they sort (usually their cock up) out.

If she resigns without good reason (health issues would need evidence and history), or is fired chances are she would not be eligible at all and could potentially be sanctioned by housing benefit and tax credits too.

And yes I get furious at the 'its easy to claim and live on benefits' idiots too.