To leave work and go on benefits?

[AllOfTheCoffee]

[prepares for flaming]

I work in a coffee shop that turns into a wine bar on a weekend.

I've been there since it opened 7 years ago. I am only the member of staff who's been there since the start and as such whenever anyone leaves I am just expected to cover their shifts until a replacement is found.

I started there on a 15 hours a week, when I left my Ex-H a couple of years ago I asked for more hours, my boss gave me weekends and evenings to top up my hours because my leaving Ex-H co-incided with him getting his wine bar license.

I feel like I never see my kids, we can never go anywhere together and it's really starting to get to me. Loads of parents were bringing their kids in ion fancy dress last night (before we switched to wine bar mode) on their way to or from parties, I was working, just like I was last Halloween and just like I am on the 5th.

I haven't had a Christmas eve with my kids since we turned into a wine bar and not likely to get one this year, I am the only one with enough experience to manage the bar on a busy shift, apparently. I've worked every Friday and Saturday night for the last 3 years, every Christmas Eve, every New Years eve and every Hallloween/Guy Fawkes/Easter/Bank Holiday.

I've asked for my shifts to be changed loads of times and in fairness my boss does then start looking for new staff, however because he can get away with paying under 25's less we end up with daft kids who last a few months and then the whole thing starts again and of course they cannot work busy shifts from the start because they don't have have enough experience, in general I get one or two weekends by the time they're trained before they walk out.

I'm applying for better jobs but almost everything that fits in with the childcare I have available is evenings and weekends.

AIBU to just leave? Is it even possible? I'd keep looking for work of course, I couldn't just not work and I'd be entitled to free courses at the college so would look into getting more qualifications.

I don't see any way the OP would be deemed eligible for jsa if she walks out of her job.

what would happen if the op was ill,would her employer have to pay SSP and if so for how long and how much ??

just curious

If she couldn't find childcare to suit the hours? I can't see anyone questioning that - the hours are VERY anti social.

OP you are legally entitled to paid holiday. Use it.
Tell your boss when you'd like to take paid time off. If he says that can't get cover for that time, ask him when It would be convenient for him for you to take your paid holiday.
Force him to get cover for that and he won't then be so dependent on you so you'll get more flexibility in your shifts.

The other thing is to see if you can find someone yourself who'd be willing to do the odd cover shift for you and introduce them to your boss.
I cover for a retail manager when he goes on holiday - I've never met the owner of the business, it's all arranged through the manager.

fairylea massive hugs to you

we nearly had to do this about 18 months ago, dh was in a very very similar situation one day, unbelieveable work stress. one day he ended up having to do an 18 hour shift, we had a new baby at the time and i had severe pnd and was also physically ill as well.

he was going to either quit and walk out or get a lower paid job....i posted on here out of desperation and got absolutely flamed to fuck by some utter heartless cunts

i hope and pray your dh feels better soon and your family feels the benefit of him being out of that horrible situation

if you want to talk more please pm me because i have been there ....things are 100% better now, he is happy and sane at work, i am working a bit too, we are both healthy, we are stable financially, and we are in the process of buying our house. 18 months ago i would never have predicted this

In fairness I think any number of things could have changed, even just a family member saying 'I am not doing that any more!'

(I'm not trying to be argumentative by the way - just playing devils advocate!)

I would look at finding a job with better hours. A couple of local mothers work in coffee shops that open at 6am but they close at 5pm. There are also a couple of restaurants with family friendly hours. Local diner we go to is open 7am-3pm. Hours are great for families and no surprise its owned by a single mother with five kids under the age of 15.

Also see if there is a Costco near you. They pay well here and are very family friendly.

There could have been lots of reasons her childcare might have changed - perhaps her mum or dad was providing childcare and they are now poorly / unable to help out anymore and the op cannot afford paid childcare for example. Working bar work and evenings doesn't really suit paid childcare arrangements - I've been a bar supervisor with young children and its hellish. I'm not saying that those are the ops situation, more my own when I left my job about 6 years ago. I did find something else very quickly and was only on benefits about 3 months in the end.

Thank you to those who have been kind about my post about my dh up thread.

I find it very depressing that in the UK when an employee is asked to jump, the only question they are supposed to ask is "how high".

The OP has a contract (which implied obligations on BOTH sides btw), and the starting point is to see what it says about her contracted working hours. After 7 years, she has employment rights even though they may in practice be hard to enforce.

When my dh was made unemployed, it took longer to claim JSA than it took him to get w new job. He had actually signed off when he got the letter saying he was entitled to it. We received nothing apart from council tax benefit and even tax credits didn't care and we got nothing! Thank god for 2 sets of parents who loaned us money to ensure the bills were paid. Took us a while to pay them back.

I sympathize with you op. It sounds really hard as you are a single parent on top of it, so the kids miss out a bit more. Your boss is clearly taking advantage of you. Your best bet would be to stick it out and try to find any other job/2 as long as the hours work out.

You should do what is best for you and your family as that is what everyone else is doing. It would probably be to your advantage to reduce your hours and get tax credit top ups whilst they last. Find out what the amount is. I don't think I'd finish work completely. Some people like you seem to get a very raw deal under the system.

Fairy...I'm sorry things are so bad for you ATM
But I iirc this situation with your Dh has been a long time coming?
Hope he feels better soon and finds something better x

Some of the posts on here do make me laugh to be honest - if you work in a very low paid job where there is a large pool of people just waiting to take your place you have very little right to challenge management or stand up for yourself. I've worked in jobs where I've worked 12 or 14 hour shifts on my feet rushing about all day long with no break whatsoever, ever, not even to have a drink and expected to just cover random shifts as and when. Of course anyone you speak to about it says it's illegal etc etc but in the real world if you said anything they'd find another reason to get rid of you and hire someone else. As a single parent relying on my work at the time I had no choice but to just carry on, there really wasn't another option (until I walked out due to stress myself and then managed on income support for a short period). I've worked in some very highly paid jobs too and those are the ones where you can stand up for yourself more, you can challenge the boss and ask for a pay rise or call their bluff. In a min wage retail or catering job you really are at their mercy. They will exploit every loophole there is and run you into the ground.

I worked shifts in hospitality for years when DS was young. They will take the utter piss out of you if you let them.

Take a stand and stick to it. Say I want every other weekend off and one year Xmas and Halloween, the next year Easter and fireworks night. Send it to him in writing by email so he can't 'misplace' it. Then just don't turn up if he puts you on them shifts. He'll soon get the message. He won't sack you, trust me!

YY destiny and fairylea Ive been in retail too. Although over a decade ago.

And yet its assumed the employers you are talking about are suddenly going to get a social conscience and pay more if/when tax credits are reduced.

Fairylea, I agree if you are just one of many, however the OP is in a position of power in that there are no other people who can step into her shoes easily. She can make a stand and it is unlikely he will call her bluff if she is as valued and necessary as she leads us to believe. She holds the cards here.

OP, what changed from last week when you said you worked 21 hours with no chance of any extra and even those would be cut when the new NMW comes in? You already can't survive without tax credits and housing benefit so how will you manage if you quit and are sanctioned for thirteen weeks.

At least doing the bulk of hours over the weekend nights means you have the days free in the main so can do assemblies etc. That's a lot more than some parents are able to do.

If you don't want to work nights any more then use your free day time to find something else. Most people go from job to job rather than just quit.

OP, don't. find another role first. if you leave work, you will not get any support unless you have a child under 5 or with a disability.

apart from that, claiming JSA is awful. I had to not too long ago. Job centre put me under awful pressure and I was treated like scum. I had to spent silly hours looking for work every day (through their portal - it all was monitored) and I was pulled up for not applying for enough jobs (DC1 is severely disabled and I can only work specific patterns). I had to apply jobs which had a commute of 90 each way. It was awful.

be very careful what you wish for.

90 mins

fairy The OP would be better off if her boss "let her go" for rocking the boat then she would walking out - she's got nothing to lose if she's thinking of quitting anyway!

That's true Pretty and that's actually what I said to my dh recently about our own situation. I guess it's just an issue close to my heart at the moment as per my dh I mentioned up thread.

Admittedly our situation is a bit different because dh has been struggling mentally for a while, even though most of it is stress at work not helped by our son having severe disabilities and our current struggles with special schools / doctors and ehcp assessments etc. He just really cannot cope with any of it at the moment and is falling into a very black hole. I am trying to remain cheery and be the glue that holds our family together. I just hope the new meds he's got from the gp help and he's able to feel better soon.

Op I hope things work out for you.

Yes autumn I wondered this too..... Op is already in receipt of HB/ctc/WTC/CB/tc..... So all she's really wanting is an increase in those and some jsa on top!

Effectively, a new 'lifestyle'