Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?

685 replies

squoosh · 27/10/2015 13:17

Risk of being thrown in the Tower/put in the stocks and all that malarkey if you refuse.

Today I think I'd go for Ralph Fiennes. Look how pretty he is. Yes he's all tortured and angsty and probably ponders endlessly on his 'craft' (yawwwn) but he's just so alluring.

No doubt he'd be a tad high maintenance in the long run but for an enforced torrid affair I think he'd do very nicely indeed. Plus he's probably into all manner of eye popping sexual shenanigans. And let's face it, what's the point of a torrid affair without some eye poppery. Am I right?

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
128
fuzzpig · 30/10/2015 00:09

Assuming this decree isn't limited in length?

TheCatsFlaps · 30/10/2015 00:39

Jensen Ackles for me. I'd fuck him six ways from Sunday, til he cried whenever he ejaculated and was balled up in the corner whilst I shout "Jensen, sugar, MOMMA WANTS SOME LOVIN!!!!!" whilst wafting my caftan between my legs BlushConfusedShockGrin

MayMiracle · 30/10/2015 13:46

Pep Guardiola. By any decree.

FancyFancy · 30/10/2015 13:52

Grin fuzzpig I like your style!

MmeGuillotine · 30/10/2015 16:10

I started watching the Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries again last night and have returned to the thread to challenge anyone else who has already said Inspector Jack Robinson (Nathan Page) to a duel because he is mine, all mine.

hellsbellsmelons · 30/10/2015 16:13

Jessie Pavelka
Tom Mison (he's looking mighty fine in the new Sleepy Hollow)
Daniel Craig

yorkshapudding · 30/10/2015 16:29

If we're allowed to time travel then are we also allowed actors as their fictional characters? I'm thinking of making Jamie Dornan my stand in (Andrew Lincoln is bound to need a rest and some form of protein based snack to recharge at some point) but I only really fancy him as the creepy serial killer in The Fall Blush

Probably best not to dwell on what that says about me Grin

startrek90 · 30/10/2015 16:47

Ewan McGregor please if not I'll nab Leigh Halfpenny ??

jacquij29 · 30/10/2015 18:02

Pierce Brosnan

GoEasyPudding · 30/10/2015 18:26

"Sorry to interrupt your family day out at the Sealife Centre, but my name's Christian and I am hoping we could have a torrid affair some time soon"

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
TheSeptemberIssue · 30/10/2015 19:38

Jay McGuinness from The Wanted/Strictly. I've turned into a lusty old woman since he started on that programme. Gutted he cut his hair though...

PoorFannyRobin · 30/10/2015 20:18

I'm not even sure how this happened but -- it would have to be the 21-year-old leader of "boyfriend" idol group Got7 (K-pop) named JB. He has replaced all others in my heart and mind. Any advice on getting out of K-pop once you've been sucked in would be appreciated.

SockQueen · 30/10/2015 20:43

Oh no, September the new hair is a huge improvement!

Soopermum1 · 30/10/2015 22:44

Fred from First Dates

Piratepete1 · 30/10/2015 23:42

Sean Bean.....from the way he said "Ay My Lady" in Lady Chatterley's Lover you just know he would be a fantastically dirty bugger in bed Grin

AshleyWilkes · 30/10/2015 23:48

Has anyone said Paul Mercurio ? As in, when he was in Strictly Ballroom, like 15 or so years ago Grin
I also had a strange thing for David Bowie a la Labyrinth too fans face oohh those trousers!

SirChenjin · 31/10/2015 09:12

Oh god yes, how could I forget - Paul Mercurio in Strictly Ballroom, my absolute favourite film . It was released in 1992 though, so a bit more than 15 years! How time flies...

juneau · 31/10/2015 09:28

Great thread!

Matthew Goode for me please Halloween Grin

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
Objectivist · 31/10/2015 09:51

Ben Whishaw, so nerdy and bestpectacled in Spectre, and in in dire need of, er, mothering.

GhettoFabulous · 31/10/2015 21:57

George Blagden, Athelstan in Vikings. His willy would be in tatters.

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
Iwannabeadog · 31/10/2015 23:23

I'm a bit late to the party but I'll take Jimmy Anderson if you insist.

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
BagelSuffragette · 01/11/2015 03:26

Can I add Dan Carter after seeing the Rugby Final? Oh hell, pretty much all of the squad Grin

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
highlighta · 01/11/2015 07:30

Sorry Bagel, but although I didn't post previously about Dan, it is just common knowledge around here and with all my pals that he is mine. So as it is a given, I didn't share a pic as he's already bagged... Grin

He he. Cor he is just lurrrvveeelllyyyy.

I think I need to train as a physio so that I can go in after the match and give him a good once over..... Wink

Cerseirys · 01/11/2015 07:51

Rob James Collier from Downton, thank you very much!

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
BathshebaDarkstone · 01/11/2015 08:00

How could I forget the delicious Alan Davies? Shock

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?