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Original poster

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?

685 replies

squoosh · 27/10/2015 13:17

Risk of being thrown in the Tower/put in the stocks and all that malarkey if you refuse.

Today I think I'd go for Ralph Fiennes. Look how pretty he is. Yes he's all tortured and angsty and probably ponders endlessly on his 'craft' (yawwwn) but he's just so alluring.

No doubt he'd be a tad high maintenance in the long run but for an enforced torrid affair I think he'd do very nicely indeed. Plus he's probably into all manner of eye popping sexual shenanigans. And let's face it, what's the point of a torrid affair without some eye poppery. Am I right?

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
OP posts:
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128
mrsmilesmatheson · 27/10/2015 19:09

Hmmm still would zombie Grin, better as a vampire though.

kungfupannda · 27/10/2015 19:15

I've just remembered my raging 2014 crush on the guy who played Oberon Martel in Game of Thrones.

And I'm quite partial to this chap too.

Can I make them form an orderly torrid affair queue?

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
ExplodingCarrots · 27/10/2015 19:19

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Luke Evans. He's defo my second choice.

For those of you who don't know who I'm on about he plays Bard in the hobbit and Dracula in Dracula untold

Lottapianos · 27/10/2015 19:21

Oh Pineapple, doesn't Jeremy's constant shouting on his radio show put you off? He gives me a splitting headache with 10 mins.

You have totally redeemed yourself with Dominic West though Smile

novemberchild · 27/10/2015 19:24

I envisage an intimate dinner party with Darius Danesh, Rufus Sewell and Rupert Graves. I am envisaging in great detail.

IamnotaspoonIamafork · 27/10/2015 19:25

Well, seeing as I would apparently be third in the queue for Spike/James Marsters, I would be delighted to go for Sean Bean from his Sharpe era...

kungfupannda · 27/10/2015 19:28

I'll take James Masters when the rest of you are finished with him. I should have worked my way through my queue of three by then.

novemberchild · 27/10/2015 19:28

Oh...Sean can come to my party as well, when you've finished with him, Fork :)

kungfupannda · 27/10/2015 19:28

Marsters even.

ToastyFingers · 27/10/2015 19:32

:O
I called dibs on Bowie about 9 pages in, but I'm happy to share expat

BathshebaDarkstone · 27/10/2015 19:32

squoosh!

BathshebaDarkstone · 27/10/2015 19:38

Zebra if I PM you my address could you post him to me please?

ijustwannadance · 27/10/2015 19:43

Tom Hardy definately. You just know he'd be filthy.

Although, due to being quite far down this queue I will happily settle for Freddie Flintoff whilst I wait.

hattymattie · 27/10/2015 19:50

For me it's a young Paul Newman and a young Sean Connery.

Now - Jason Isaacs, Aiden Turner and of course Tom Hardy. Rupert Everett also very beautiful in his day. Also rather partial to Idris Elba and Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. Oh - and how could I forget Sean Bean!

Irosstaketheerachel · 27/10/2015 19:50

Oh God Aiden Quinn - who remembers him in Desperately Seeking Susan and Practical Magic? Which leads me nicely onto Goran Visnjic from Practical Magic and ER. Goran certainly wouldn't text you the next day but boy, he'd leave his mark...

Those of you who've mentioned Gerard Butler; my plumber is a Greek version of him. Christ....I'd like him in a pitta bread covered in tzatziki Blush

RaspberryOverload · 27/10/2015 19:58

Well, seems someone got to Neil Oliver first, so I'll have to wait my turn (at least I'm second)

Otherwise, I'll be happy to spend time with Richard Kruspe, guitarist from Rammstein (I have my ticket for DownLoad, oh yesssss!) Grin

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
Sidge · 27/10/2015 19:59

I'll have Adam Levine please.

And then Rob Lowe, Keanu Reeves and Prince Harry (I bet he's dirty )

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 27/10/2015 20:02

Please form an orderly queue for James Marsters in his Spike days!

Good choice of Rufus Sewell novemberchild

Cocolepew · 27/10/2015 20:06

Oh yes Paul Newman

To ask who you'd choose if you were ordered by royal decree to have a torrid affair?
Beeswax2017 · 27/10/2015 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonywasawarriorwayayix · 27/10/2015 20:11

And Javier Bardem.

pineapplecrush · 27/10/2015 20:13

Well Lotta, you have a point, he can get animated but hopefully he wouldn't shout at me, ha ha - not unless his lethal legs got in a tangle of course.

RaspberryOverload · 27/10/2015 20:14

I've just remembered someone from an old programme. And I don't think anyone's mentioned him yet.... Victor Webster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 27/10/2015 20:17

Ahem. pineapple and Lotta Dominic West is mine! I think you'll find.

Beeswax2017 · 27/10/2015 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.