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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really taken aback by this

163 replies

Whatwasshethinking · 23/10/2015 19:18

I have namechanged as I know the details will out me/the teacher.

DS was playing an instrument in assembly today so I went to watch. All was fine and at the end I went to leave. I completely by accident stepped in front of a teacher (not DS's teacher) and apologised for getting in her way. The response was 'you will be sorry when you have a broken nose.'

Shock

I must have looked horrified as she then started talking very fast, saying her dad always said it and that 'hello - it's a JOKE.' I just walked away.

When I went to pick DS up she came to find me and apologised properly this time, and I said it was fine as I couldn't think what else to say.

But I'm not being unreasonable to be Hmm wtf - am I?!

OP posts:
Fluffy24 · 23/10/2015 19:39

II immediately interpreted that as 'you'll break your nose walking into something' rather than that she would break your nose for you.

I think you're over thinking it and YABU.

MaidOfStars · 23/10/2015 19:40

It's a joke. Between grown ups. Do you honestly think she's saying similar to the children?

FFSYourself · 23/10/2015 19:40

Presuming that it wasn't said angrily I would have thought it a joke, not a particularly funny one but a joke nonetheless. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to be annoyed.

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/10/2015 19:41

Yeah. Report it. Mention it to the head.

I would want to know if someone I managed said that to a client or anyone involved in production.

And this woman teaches kids.

Original poster
Whatwasshethinking · 23/10/2015 19:41

That would work except she then informed me exactly what it meant (not that I thought for a second she meant anything else, given she clenched her fist and 'waved' it at me Hmm)

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 23/10/2015 19:43

Of course I don't think she should be fired or even officially reprimanded but I think the head needs to have a chat with her.

JeffsanArsehole · 23/10/2015 19:43

I would have laughed and assumed it was a joke

The fact you didn't is insane

It's so clearly a joke. Ordinary people at school events don't threaten strangers Hmm

troubleatmillcock · 23/10/2015 19:44

She should have the reflex to be polite not threaten violence.

And she works with kids?

Original poster
Whatwasshethinking · 23/10/2015 19:45

Jeff, I suspect that's what she thought too, but forgive me if I am sensitive about this at the moment but I don't feel like feigning laughter at physical threats, and yes, they are 'jokes' but it is actually unpleasant to be put in a position where you feel you have to laugh at someone threatening you.

I know I'm explaining it very badly but while it didn't scare me at all, it made me feel quite shit.

OP posts:
diddl · 23/10/2015 19:48

But surely if that's the sort of thing that you say as a joke, you would still realise that perhaps in the workplace might not be the best environment?

I don't think that it's funny at all in this context.

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/10/2015 19:49

You're not explaining it badly at all. It was inappropriate and highlights a lack of social awareness that may - /may/ - be a problem when she is in the classroom too.

MrsMolesworth · 23/10/2015 19:49

If that's all right with some of you = well yeah, if it's all right with you that many of us recognise it was an instinctive comment on her part that she immediately saw was taken the wrong way and which she profusely apologised for on two occasions.

I loathe the culture of not allowing anyone to make a mistake and relishing the chance to be offended and make another person squirm. Imo give it a rest and forget it. Do something more interesting with your time than working yourself up about this.

Original poster
Whatwasshethinking · 23/10/2015 19:49

Perhaps she did intend it to be funny, but the humour relied on me finding the prospect of having my nose broken funny, which I didn't - funny, that Hmm

OP posts:
Minkymooks · 23/10/2015 19:49

She realised that she'd upset you and apologised. I would forget about it

diddl · 23/10/2015 19:50

"The fact you didn't is insane"

Er no!

You would have found it funny.

Not everyone would.

And that doesn't mean that they have no sense of humour either!

SuburbanRhonda · 23/10/2015 19:52

I would want to know if someone I managed said that to a client or anyone involved in production

You're assuming people know what you're talking about here, aren't you?

Olddear · 23/10/2015 19:53

So, it was a threat? Oh well, that's different!! See, I just thought it was a joke....not a very good one but a joke nonetheless. But if you really thought she was actually going to break your nose, yes, report her. (Hells teeth)

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/10/2015 19:53

No, I just meant that I think it's inappropriate in any workplace but particularly so for someone working with kids.

Original poster
Whatwasshethinking · 23/10/2015 19:53

Thanks, Atrocious

Mrs, all I did on the face of it was look alarmed/ shocked then just quietly said 'excuse me' and walked out.

I was extremely gracious when she apologised at the end of the day.

However, how it made me feel is another matter. It was done in public - with other parents and teachers and children milling around. It made me feel as I say, shit - like I wasn't even good enough for a cheery 'no problem!' or 'thank you!'

I am fully understanding of the fact that sometimes everyone says something they don't mean and was ill-judged but it made me feel like an exceptionally irritating species of human and I don't like feeling like that, sorry.

OP posts:
cuntycowfacemonkey · 23/10/2015 19:53

If someone posted that they pulled to one side at school pick up and told that the class teacher had walked into their child's path accidently and said "oops sorry" and the child had responded with "you will be when you have a broken nose" EVERYONE would be saying "your child is rude and needs to apologise"

I dunno I'm fairly laid back about most things but jokes about violence have had their day IMO

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/10/2015 19:54

That was to SuburbanRhonda.

Flambola · 23/10/2015 19:56

I am completely baffled by what I'm reading.

She said it was a joke, why you need to go over and over it I don't know.

ilovesooty · 23/10/2015 19:56

She was absolutely in the wrong to say what she did but despite her apologies I imagine she might be spending the weekend worrying that she might be reported to the head and be subject to disciplinary procedures.
Surely that is punishment enough?

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/10/2015 19:57

But you can say anything is a joke, can't you? That way you get to say whatever you want, right?

Sometimes 'jokes' aren't ok.

willconcern · 23/10/2015 19:59

She said something stupid, sounds like it was instinctive based on a family joke, she realised & apologised - twice. Leave it now.

I once did something similar-ish and still cringe about it now. If she's anything like me she'll be crapping herself that you might report it to the head.

In your position I would seriously leave it.

If you must do something, go in & speak to her again and explain how it made you feel. But please don't tell her head, she just made a mistake.