To be close to giving up volunteering because I can't stand one of the parents?

[listsandbudgets]

DD does Brownies and for the last 18 months I've gone along to nearly every session to help. The girls are lovely as are Brown Owl and her helper Snowy Owl. However some of the parents are driving me mad.

At the end of the meeting I usually stand by the door and make sure each child goes out with the right parent. EVEiRY week the same parent is late - not by a couple of minutes but by a minimum of 10 - last week it was 30 minutes. Never a word of apology. Brown Owl couldn't wait as she had an "owl meeting" to go to so DD and I had to wait with the other Brownie. The parents weren't answering their phone so we could do nothing but wait with an increasingly upset little girl. Finally her mother turned up and without apology snapped at her DD to hurry up because they were running late.

I said politely "We did finish at 7.30 it would be really helpful if you could pick her up on time next week please" She snapped back "I pay you to be here, I'll pick her up whenever I like". For the sake of her DD I just said "yes I see but we do finish at 7.30"

The subs are £1.50 a week for an hour and a half of activities with all materials and room hire included. All the guiders and helpers are volunteers.

Its been rankling with me all week and dreading seeing her tonight. It wasn't that she was late it was that she treated me like some kind of underling, DD was late to bed and DS (3) was upset because we were so late back.

A child that is uncollected after a club or childcare day has finished is at risk of harm. Quite serious harm and social services should be called if their parents cannot be contacted.

Snossidge - it doesn't matter what social workers have told you whilst you attended some kind of course. The law states they are responsible for a child if there is no other adult available to care for them.

I'd tell her that her subs are going up to £15.00 per week.

MrsPnut, SS stance was that there is a suitable adult caring for them, and a late parent does not put a child at risk of harm. It wasn't a course really anyway, it was a social worker advising settings on appropriate policies and when to contact SS.

I used to work on childcare and this was indeed our policy. And SS did come because sometimes the parent was e.g. a known heroin addict. They did not come to tick off the parent they came to look after and find care for an abandoned child.

As an lp I often wonder what would happen if I were in an accident. I assume and indeed am relying on the fact that ss would step in if needs be until my parents could make the 150 mile journey to look after them.

However, in this case I see Brown Owl is going to have feathers flying so hopefully it will be the last time.

I was mortified I was 39 mins late picking kids up after camp, unexpected traffic, but I let BO know I was on my way and would be there asap and apologised profusely and repeatedly. People who volunteer for Brownies are amazing.

That suitable adults responsibility ends though doesn't it? When they contact ss and say they can no longer be responsible, ss step in. They have to.

The reason it's rarely followed through is because most group leaders, volunteers and staff grin and bear it. But that's neither fair, or an option for everyone. What about their own children?

SS is a common policy.

Your Brown Owl shouldn't have left you - I am not sure the insurance would cover you and her being there alone.

Glad you have spoken to her. I think unfortunately the child can't attend anymore if this continues. She is taking the piss cos she knows she is getting away with it.

The young leader didn't wait but the church caretaker (think he has a more formal title) did come and sit with us so there was another adult in the hall. Sorry should have mentioned this earlier for clarity.

Actually I thought I had but on rereading seem to have missed it out- can I blame being distracted by the joy of a 3 year old proudly showing me the contents of his potty while posting the OP?

Your Brown Owl is right to go through the parent, how bloody rude!

However you should never have been left in that situation. What would you have done if the parent didn't turn up?

One adult should never be left alone with a child, and the person with the child's emergency contact details should never leave before the child/ren. Who backs you up if that child makes a compaint against you? It's basic safeguarding (which is to protect volunteers/staff as much as children).

At our Playscheme/Out of school care it's three phone calls to the parent/guardian, three to the emergency contact and then if no contact is able to be made in 45 minutes social services will be called. It's not about getting the parent in trouble, it's about finding someone to assist with a child with no-one to look after them. The school is 30 minutes after attempting first contact.

Indeed and the risk they (the adult) are exposing themself to. The building may no longer be insured etc. What if the building gets locked do they stand outside? For how long?

I know it sounds like a total overreaction to call SS but there were some children I would not have taken sole responsibility for because they were prone to running off (esp. If they thought they could just go.home if their parent was a no show). You then cannot stop them from doing so, cannot follow them and are no longer looking after them (although in that eventuality we did just phone the police).

Not saying ss should be called in this case but it is a perfectly reasonable policy to have.

Let us know what happens tonight OP.
I reckon he either picks her child up on time from now and is as meak as anything or
You never see her or her daughter again

The woman sounds a right PITA, and am glad brown owl is going to handle it, and hopefully review the late collection protocol.

but if you were seriously thinking of stopping volunteering rather than addressing the issue, for example by telling the woman she was out of order and informing brown owl it sounds like you might have some issues with assertiveness.

Blimey op she sounds a delight! I hope she behaves tonight!

Yes Social Services are busy. So if they can persuade you to stay with the uncollected child longer, I am sure they will. But if you say that you are going home now, so they have to come or the uncollected child will be on their own, then legally they have to attend. Volunteers or staff can not wait for ever.

I'm the leader in charge and had this issue that 2 mum's were running late due to the yoga teacher running late in the same building.

Tawny Owl started delivering them to the yoga room in the cool down! Yoga teacher shouts at me the following week, but being me, had printed off the timetable from the church website which showed she was running 20 minutes later than advertised! They stopped being late.

In this situation you should call your dc to report a late parent. I phone after 10 minutes. But one mum has offered to take our late brownie home for mum to collect from her house instead which has been a huge help

Actually Duck I probably do. I've got a whole heap of shit (whcih I'm not up to talking about yet) going on in my life at the moment and it only seems to take a tiny extra thing to knock the stuffing out of me - stupid really. Really I quite like doing Brownies especially at the moment as it gives me a chance to think about something fun unrelated to the rest of my life

Oh good. Let us know what happens tonight.

I hope that the parent apologises to you, how rude !

So as they say 'don't let the buggers get you down' tbh I think we're all the same in that sometimes things like that get to us. What a rude woman, if I was even 5 minutes late I'd be grovelling with apology even if the person was being paid.

Concentrate on the other 20 mums who are nice and appreciate what you do

OP please come back later and let us know how the mum behaves this evening. Let's hope she has a grovelling apology for you, but we won't hold our breaths!

Surely SS are the appropriate people to inform if a child has been abandoned? Which is the case if a parent doesn't turn up.

Yes, please update us after the next meeting

Groovee I'm shocked that the parents didn't leave their yoga class on time to collect their DDs. That's unacceptable too though I'm glad to hear that it got sorted in the end. It shouldn't have been left for you to sort out the issue though!

Please do suggest that the Brown Owl maybe reminds parents about the fact everyone is volunteers in her next newsletter/email. I've said before on other threads but it never ceases to amaze me how many parents assume that coaches and leaders at stuff like this are paid when in actual fact most of them end up subsidising stuff in any case. If necessary it should be spelled out to them that the subs are not paying for your time; they are paying for the hall, insurance, materials for crafts, badges etc etc.

What a cheeky mare!