to ask what's the worst/silliest advice you've seen on here?

[Francoitalialan]

MN is such a tremendous source of info but sometimes it goes wonky. What's the worst/silliest advice you've seen?

I think it is awful to pop up on Mumsnet Chat and threaten suicide.

Mumsnet's official line is suppsed to be "So sorry you are going through this op, here are some links to agencies who can help you, now we are going to close the thread".

But they hardly ever do.

It's probably been said before, but posters who ask why the op can't leave their baby/toddler/ dog with a neighbour. Now in an emergency I'd take the baby/toddler for a few hours. But the dog? No you can fuck right off xx

I agree with you Mintyy but MN think it's ok so what can you do?.

We had some enormously long threads in the past on this very subject laughingattheweather, and Mumsnet's official line is that suicide threads will be deleted. So I don't know why they leave so many up.

We don't actually HAVE any neighbours, Punk, so that one is always unhelpful!

Mnhq will say if you want a thread removing it needs to be reported

The official thread on the subject of suicide chat/threads

here

It is very very long because a lot of people contributed, and only 6 months ago.

I only know our neighbours to nod, say hello to Leaving Our opposite neighbours have just had a baby, I haven't seen their bastard aggressive dogs for a while so hopefully in an emergency it'll only be the baby I have to look after

Just seen it now. A poster telling the OP to get a pay day loan for a night out.

punkerocker Did you just say Bastard aggressive dogs???

MN response : You are unworthy of life! you should die a horrible death and leave this planet to the dogs who rightly own it. Alternatively you could invite them round to dinner and lay down for them to rip your face to shreds and poo poo on. Your choice..

I totally mis-read that as passive aggressive dogs

Surely that's worse than bastard aggressive!

@Mintyy

I think it is awful to pop up on Mumsnet Chat and threaten suicide.

Mumsnet's official line is suppsed to be "So sorry you are going through this op, here are some links to agencies who can help you, now we are going to close the thread".

But they hardly ever do.

Hi Mintyy, We do need to pick you up on this, we're afraid. We genuinely apologise if we are missing posters who are in trouble, but do believe us when we get any reports in that mention suicide we stick rigidly to a plan devised in consulation with The Samaritans. As ever, if in doubt, report to us and we will take it from there.

Usual
Actually MN can potentially be better than the Samaritans. I mean that in the very specific way that often there is someone who knows what it feels like and can share their own positive story of making it through and really empathise with the person and know what to say cos they've been there. The Samaritans can listen but even if they have personal experience they cannot say it.

Also, as a previous suicidal poster myself, a thread can involve asking for advice - which again the Samaritans can't give. Blanket "go to professionals for help" is hopeless and frankly worsens things if the professionals don't want to know or have done something untoward.

There was a thread today about someone going through something shocking and posters replying with "Have a hot sweet drink, keep warm, distract yourself on here" type posts. This sort of basic, comforting 'normality' is missing so often in mental health care and can be very helpful.

Threads where you have suicidal posters and others giving comfort and advice can be of course very helpful but within a few seconds turn into something very different

If MN could monitor closely and even check before every post is seen then it could be safe otherwise it isn't and that must be a concern

The Samaritans is safe when dealing with people who are at their most vulnerable it is a huge responsibility for MN to take on

OP: "My child is being badly bullied by a horrible little boy who punches him every day, steals his lunchbox and smears poo in his face when the teachers not looking. My son is heartbroken and I don't know how to approach it as the school aren't much help and I can't send him to another school as there isn't one for 40 miles and we don't have a car."

Poster1: "The boy's mother is probably depressed. Bake a cake, go round and try to get the boys to make friends"

Poster2: "TBH you sound horrible OP, who speaks about a CHILD like that"

The ironic thing is, many MNers are keen to defend any behaviour, no matter how terrible, of an individual who is 17yrs and 364 days old or less. They come up with every excuse under the sun, and reprimand the person aggrieved by them as they are children and therefore are sacred and one cannot be upset or annoyed by them. The nanosecond they transition into adult, the very same MNers are quick to tell those peoples OHs to LTB because he put his plate on the side rather than in the dishwasher

OP: "My child is being badly bullied by a horrible little boy who punches him every day, steals his lunchbox and smears poo in his face when the teachers not looking. I am organising a birthday party for my child and he wants to invite the whole class except this boy. There are only 12 children in the class. AIBU to not invite him."

MN - OMG you are vile. How could you treat a child like that and exclude him. You should have a small party with only 4 or 5 kids, or invite them all.

The OPs own child never seems to matter on these threads.

I also think it's alarming how many people tell OPs to report their OHs or family members to SS for things that don't need to be addressed by authorities. It never occurs to them how this might affect everyone in the family or if the outcome will even be a positive one

The ones that really alarm me are where the OP is pregnant and doesn't know whether to go ahead with the pregnancy, and is wholeheartedly encouraged to have the baby. Strangers on the internet are not able to advise that. Just awful advice.

The nanosecond they transition into adult, the very same MNers are quick to tell those peoples OHs to LTB because he put his plate on the side rather than in the dishwasher

Shoot coffee up your arse every day.

My 6 year old is being assessed for what might be some special needs. His behaviour isn't great and he's confused why he finds friendships hard and now he's been left out of a whole class party. Is the mum unreasonable?

Response:

No she's not unreasonable. I don't care if your child has special needs or not, they need to learn to behave and being left out is a good way.

OP : but he's possibly got a learning disability!

Response : tough shit.

Not so much posters advice but the suggestion of the husband of the op

situation was that the step children visited every weekend or whatever and the dh felt it was unfair that his wife made puddings all week and his other kids didn't get them so the suggestion was his wife kept a portion of all the puddings on the fridge fir when they visited